Parenting

Unless you are particularly lucky, most of us will likely experience a complicated death at some point in our lives. As we grow, we learn too soon that death visits more than just the old and frail. We also learn that people we love often die before their time and as a direct result of the choices they have made. What follows is a long and complex emotional journey for those left behind. Not too long ago I wrote an article on alcoholism. In it, I talked a little about my mother-in-law and her own battle with alcohol addiction. Sadly, she passed away very recently.

It’s the moments that we stop that give form to family life. When we pause amongst the hustle and bustle of the every day and witness the wonder around us. Too often we find that we just don’t make time for a pause: there’s so much to be done and so little time to do it in. But as some wise sage once said, ‘the days are long, but the years are short’, and before long you’re wondering where all the time went. Another wise sage – in the form of Ferris Bueller in the film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – said: ‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.’ And who wants to miss their children growing? When they’ve all left home, it’s the memories of now – these days and weeks – that will make us laugh and cry.

The pursuit of good parenting can seem endless. In truth, it really is – it’s an ongoing, evolving process that grows and adapts with your family’s needs. But it can also be tiring and confusing. In reality, most of us wind up tying ourselves in knots wondering where the line between being a respectful parent and being a permissive parent actually lies. It certainly doesn’t help that there are more “experts” around these days than there ever where when we were growing up and many of them take the form of unqualified individuals that have simply gathered a large following on their Facebook page. Knowing what good parenting looks like can sometimes seem impossible.

The ban-bossy campaign has made headlines in recent weeks with its efforts to empower young girls and guide them toward leadership and other roles it is suggested that they are shying away from. The campaign, spearheaded by facebook executive Sheryl Sandberg and co-founded by the Girl Scouts, has attracted celebrity endorsement from the likes of Beyoncé and Condoleeza Rice. Whilst it has been met with mixed reactions, the campaign has highlighted an important issue – that parents play a vital role in the development of their child’s sense of self worth and empowerment.

I’m currently in the middle of planning a wedding. It was meant to be a small and simple affair, we had even toyed with the idea of showing up in jeans and trainers. It’s not the wedding we’re after, but the marriage. Somehow, though, it has quickly snowballed into a wedding with a dress and a reception. And I have 4 weeks to pull it off. What has any of this to do with online dating, you might ask? Well, the day we’re planning to get married will be exactly 6 years to the day that we very first “met” after falling in love online.

Spring heralds a time of change. In the world around us, we see the wheel of the year continue on its cycle and enter a new phase and, whether we like it or not, we’re going along for the ride! Sometimes it can feel like we need just a few more winter weeks to really gather our thoughts and ideas before we bring them into the light. But spring comes leaping and bouncing into our lives with the energy of the lambs, and demands that we shake off the cobwebs and dance into the warmer, brighter days.

We’ve all heard the admonitions that screen-time is responsible for a huge proportion of society’s ills, from obesity to a lack of interest in the natural world. But our children live in the 21st century and inherent in that is the fact we live technology-based lives. If we limit our children’s screen time, are they missing out on the life their peers take for granted? Are we holding them back from cultural and social experiences? In terms of television, research seems to indicate the answer is no.

Popular perception of swearing suggests that more than half of people consider it to be offensive and even more feel that it is something children should be protected from. This is partly the reason for the censorship of daytime television shows and broadcasts and the official “watershed”. Family viewing is considered cleaner and more wholesome when swearing is actively avoided. The BBC, in particular, go to great lengths to achieve this with notorious hard-man Phil Mitchell oft heard bellowing such atrocities as “You flipping sponge!”. But, is it really necessary and why are people so afraid of swearing around children?

It’s a minefield out there. We’ve all been in a situation where an innocent comment about a parenting decision we’ve made had the same effect as letting off a stink-bomb in polite company. Many of us who make parenting choices slightly left of the mainstream might decide it’s preferable not to mention them at all. Parenting is an emotive subject and almost all parents are familiar with the low-level guilt that seems to haunt even the most simple of parental choices.

We all hope to raise children who are aware of others and the world around them. Children are drawn to the natural world, a biological tendency called biophillia. We’ve all seen the way in which children, unhindered by adult influence, will naturally run towards animals. But if we do not offer opportunities for this innate sense to develop, children can develop a fear of nature, known as biophobia. These children are afraid or contemptuous of nature and natural surroundings, and often avoid animals.