By The Green Parent

11th June 2013

Potty learning can be a frustrating time for the most laid back parents. Suddenly, your carpet is literally swimming in pee and you’re spending an unprecedented amount of time scrubbing faeces out of your carpet and your child’s clothes. It’s certainly one of the milestones that will test many of us to our parenting limits and the variety of books and training methods available are testament to this.

By The Green Parent

11th June 2013

By The Green Parent

11th June 2013

But, if sticker charts aren’t your thing and training doesn’t sit well with you – how do you go about encouraging potty learning gently and, equally important, successfully?

1. Be prepared for mess. Gentle potty learning is partly about learning your child’s cues and working with them, much like with elimination communication, and partly about your child learning to recognise when they are “going” if they haven’t already. This means going nappy free in the house – some parents like to use knickers/pants straight away but this is still going to be messy. You can start as early or as late as you like, with this.

2. Introduce your child to the potty. Go shopping with your little one and let them pick out a potty, toilet seat and stool. It being their choice makes the concept a little more appealing and something they are more likely to warm to. The potty may well lay around, unused, but keep it available at all times.

3. Ask your child, now and then, if they would like to use the potty. They will likely refuse until they are, quite spontaneously, ready. Gentle reminders about the potty through the day and when they have accidents will help them to form an association.

4. Show them. It may sound strange but children trust in the behaviours of their carers and if they see you doing something, they are more likely to repeat the behaviour. Ok, so taking a number two on your child’s potty may seem extreme but there’s no reason why you can’t pee in it. If it’s good enough for the goose…

5. Don’t lose patience. It’s a gradual process and your child will get there. You may need an industrial strength carpet cleaner at the end of the process, but you will reach your destination. Studies suggest that the average age at which a child is ready to potty train is around the age of 3. Though it is possible to actively “train” a younger child, it is often gentler to be led by them.

6. Remember that night time is a whole different ball game. Some children are dry at night before they are dry in the day. Some aren’t dry at night for years after they are otherwise fully potty trained. This is simply one of those things that clicks with your child when their mind and bodies are ready. Some evidence suggests a hormonal link with night time dryness. Once they have been consistently dry for a couple of weeks, try going nappy free at night and using a mattress protector.

Though it can be a difficult time, potty learning is also a great opportunity to reconnect with your child. Life can be busy sometimes and learning to pay attention to their cues has the knock on effect of giving them even more of your time, which can only ever be a good thing. Done at their pace, accidents are also significantly less likely to occur.

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