Soulful singing

Eminent educators and psychologists have discovered that a baby’s appreciation of sound and music is greatest when shared with their loved ones. No expert can ‘do’ music for an infant better than the parent themselves. We wouldn’t send our babies to a linguist to learn how to speak so why should music, an extension of our vocal skills, be a skill learnt outside the home? Sandra Trehub, Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto has studied maternal singing and it’s effects on infants, looking at from different cultures, including remote regions of Turkey and Gabon. She says: “Much as infants enjoy listening to their mother’s speech, they are calmer and more attentive when she sings.”

Sheena Roberts, mother, publisher and music editor used to calm her crying, colicky five-day-old baby by singing to her “I held her firmly, against my shoulder, her head supported by my hand, and danced as I sang. This had an almost one hundred percent success rate.” This is all very well coming from an accomplished pianist with a music degree, but what about those of us with less confidence in our musical abilities? Apparently we shouldn’t be put off. Music should be a part of everyday life and indeed is an important factor in bonding with new babies. Your voice is the most important sound in your child’s world. A combination of sound and physical contact at this age is fundamental. She will delight at the sound of your voice, as you rock her, cuddle her, play with her and bathe her.

Songs are handed down from generation to generation as part of folk tradition. With the assault of electronic media, it’s a wonder any of us still remember ‘Oranges and lemons’ or ‘Row, row the boat’. But we do, and we remember it for many years, through childhood, adolescence and young adulthood until it resurfaces to be sung to our own children. Even later in life, it comes flooding back as we play with our grandchildren. There must be something vital in this musical tradition for it to have stood the test of time with little help from modern society.

During pregnancy, singing can be used to establish a bond with your unborn child. In many cultures around the world women used to sing frequently during pregnancy, but today we mainly listen to music coming from a machine, and it creates inhibitions in us that our singing voice is not like that of professional singers. Michel Odent, the French Obstetrician suggests that this inhibition could represent a sensual deprival to the growing foetus and encourages women to sing their hearts out for a healthier birth experience and relationship to their newborns.

Singing is a great way to release tension for adults as well as children. A fun song may be a useful diversionary tactic in troubled times and a lullaby may be a relaxing tonic at the end of a hard day. Relax your lungs, have a good sing and see how energized and calm you feel afterwards. Psychotherapist, Caron B Goode says, “In today’s fast-paced world that bombards the senses with sounds and mechanical vibrations, your body can easily shift into an unnatural rhythm. You might say you’re “out of synch” or “out of harmony” while science would call that feeling stressed.” She recommends restoring harmony to the body by returning to music, a technique that can assist both parents and their children.

Children’s tastes vary wildly and often differ from their parent’s musical preferences. Try to set aside any preconceptions and your own preferences and be aware that your child’s tastes will probably change over time. Introduce children to a wide range of music and watch and listen for their reactions. You will soon learn which types soothe and which energise. Once you have identified music that appeals to your child, try incorporating singing into daily routines that can be stressful – getting up for school, the ride home from school, bedtime – and see what happens. Introduce the music slowly, beginning with something you know your child likes. Gradually build up your repertoire either by sharing with other families, music groups or creating a whole selection of silly family songs to sing at certain times during the day.