The Green Parent

By The Green Parent

24th April 2017

Vivien Sabel shows how to develop your very own early communication system with your newborn

The Green Parent

By The Green Parent

24th April 2017

The Green Parent

By The Green Parent

24th April 2017

Evidence suggests the early parent-infant attuned interactions lay an important foundation for the child’s later emotional, social and cognitive development. Attunement is promoted by parent’s understanding of the baby’s body cues. I created the Blossom Method to teach parents how to re-discover their ancestral competence and to connect with their babies in the most natural of ways.

Human language development may have suppressed, on a subconscious level, a more primal body language communication which is still experienced and available to us. Antonella Sansone in her recent observations of the Himba Tribe recognised the instinctive and natural use of The Blossom Method in tribal Africa. During her visit to the Himba, spending time with indigenous mothers and children of Northern Namibia, she witnessed how mothers anticipate their babies’ needs before they escalate into crying, simply because of their ability to quickly read babies’ body cues (observe), mirror them, and respond. This primal attuned communication is so important for babies, to acquire the capacity for self-regulation, explains Darcia Narvaez, professor of psychology, therefore contributing to socio-emotional, cognitive and even moral development.

Secure attachment
The Blossom Method emphasises the importance of early communication and a secure attachment for infants. It focuses on the benefits of co-creating a safe, nurturing and active listening environment where early communication and an innate sense of being seen (and therefore heard) are experienced as valuable to both caregiver and infant.

In infancy and beyond, your aim is to create a safe and loving place for your infant to develop and grow where interaction between you, as a primary caregiver, and your infant is felt and experienced. This supports your infant to feel and experience trust and develop confidence in their relationships with you and others. When your infant feels understood, feels contained and feels seen, it will support the development of your infant’s emotional core infrastructure required for emotional and physical development. The effects of our early experiences are embodied and continually experienced throughout life.

We have known about the importance of a good bond between parent and child for many years; the value of this bond is important for your baby now and in the future.

Observing cues
Although I am aware that you will understand the concepts of observation, mirroring and responding, I feel that there is value in expanding on this. When I refer to The Blossom Method’s key concepts I am considering a multi-layered and multi-sensory experience. In considering observation I wish to celebrate the human body and the skills we all have. I hope you will utilise your observation skills to see, feel, touch, sense, hear, smell and wholly experience all of your infant. What do you experience intuitively when you focus on the face and body of your infant? I want you to consider all that is available to you. The more you observe the more you will learn about your baby. From birth, Blossom (my daughter) has shown me so many things about herself. I have, through observation, been shown when she is hungry or very hungry, when she is tired, when she is thirsty, when she is unwell, when she has wind, when she is moving her bowels and when she is urinating. I have gathered this information from her through my observations. I have spent many hours with many mothers and have found their infants are doing the same for them. What can you gather from your baby through simple observation? What is your baby showing you?

“"Your infant has an innate drive to communicate and experience a deep connectedness with you"”

Mirroring
When we consider mirroring, research has shown that mirroring is both affirming and confirming. As a parent or infant caregiver you will be the first mirror in and of your baby’s life. As you observe and begin to mirror your infant you will begin to know, feel and experience your interconnectedness, love and the worthiness of such “attunement”. Your infant has an innate drive to communicate and experience a deep connectedness with you. This can begin with joyful observation and, importantly, mirroring. The mirroring of your baby will develop their knowledge of you, themselves and their world. I feel mirroring supports your infant in the acquisition of body language skills and body awareness. Through the process of mirroring, your infant will develop an awareness of mimicking, imitation and echoing. In addition there will be benefits to mutual mirroring; the mirroring experienced by Blossom and I saw us develop our very own early communication system. This supported her self-learning in relation to her own body. In relation to mirroring I believe in echoing the experience of your infant and subsequently responding to the non-verbal and verbal utterances to support your infant to feel seen and therefore heard.

Responding
Responding positively to what your infant experiences and expresses will help them to feel secure in their nurturing environment. How you respond will be very much dependent upon how you have been responded to in your infancy and beyond. If your parents responded to you positively then you will be more likely to respond to your infant in the same way. Your infant is seeking to be seen, heard and understood. If you gaze lovingly towards your baby, he or she will instinctively mirror your gaze. I am trying to encourage you to become more aware of how you respond to your infant and how this may have a lasting impact on them. If your infant feels they are being supported to communicate then they will be more likely to communicate. If you are as present as you can be then this will support your infant to develop communication skills. I can recall many years ago observing a young mother and her baby. She was changing her baby’s nappy. The young mother was clearly disgusted by the content of her baby’s soiled nappy. The look of horror was presented non-verbally. She also expressed her horror verbally. How would this impact upon her infant? Would her baby grow to feel ashamed of her bowel movements? Would her baby begin to “hold” onto her bowel movements as a result of experiencing shame? I believe we can benefit from seeing the positive in our infants’ experiences of their bodies and respond to them accordingly. This will support your baby to be body confident. This body confidence will grow with them as they grow into children and adults. How do you respond verbally and non-verbally to your baby? Are you fully present in your responses? How can you support your infant to feel self-assured and body confident in your responses?

Cultivating confidence
For me, observing my infant and attempting to understand all that was said (verbally and non-verbally), mirroring back her sounds and seemingly creating our very own primal and early communication system, alleviated many anxieties I held as a new mum. In feeling less anxious, I believe I projected less of my anxiety onto my infant. In projecting less, we developed a positive environment for co-created nurturing.

An infant’s early experiences will set the framework for building a solid foundation for their emotional life. Their experiences will support them to develop an inner confidence which will serve them well and assist in emotional regulation. These early beginnings will support your baby in navigating and managing the “ebb and flow” of life.

Your observation will be key to your success. Your mirroring will be both fun and interesting. Your response will depend on developing your observation skills. Enjoy the journey!

MORE INSPIRAITON

READ: Vivien’s book The Blossom Method: The Revolutionary Way To Communicate With Your Baby From Birth.

VISIT: viviensabel.com to read more of Vivien’s work.

Vivien is a Registered Psychotherapist, Clinical Supervisor, Integrative Relationally-Centred Programme Lead at scpti.co.uk She is currently studying for her 7th degree (MA Psychotherapy) where she is researching into contemporary Parent-Infant Psychotherapy.

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