Greenparent

knowing the difference between highly sensitive and ASD?

2013-04-30T09:07:00Z

If anyone would be prepared to talk to me about this I’d be really grateful.

Can’t cope with my son

2013-05-07T03:15:22Z

Title says it all really… I can’t cope with him… I don’t know what to do with him, whether it’s him or me..? Jacob is 9 years old now and recently diagnosed with Aspergers (which I had suspected for a long, long time) but what I’m unsure of is whether his behaviour is just bad behaviour or part of Aspergers. Every day is just a cycle of me screaming at him just to get basic things done because he just doesn’t do anything he’s asked… I’m looking at having to ask him to do something around 5 times (and by that time shouting) as he just doesn’t do it…. Then more worryingly is the evil, manipulative streak he shows towards his little brothers. This is
Just find upsetting more than anything else, it’s like he goes out of his way to hurt them but he goes about it in such a cruel way that it surely can’t be normal?! He lulls them into false senses of security or pretends he’s playing or pretends it was an accident then really hurts them or encourages them to do something really quite dangerous. He seems incapable of playing normally with them. I’m finding myself saying more and more hurtful things to him because I’m angry/upset/out of control and I
just want him to listen and acknowledge me, it’s not
Working and I expect I’m just pushing him further away. He’ll
Soon feel like he’s not loved or wanted the way I’m carrying on. What also doesn’t help is that he is
So much like his biological dad… He looks, talks, thinks and acts like him which is a
Shame as his bio dad is a div (and I suspect also an aspie sufferer along with his grandma [dads mom]). It would seem
That no matter how much nurture we put in, it won’t override the nature. It’s not even as if he spends much
Time with his bio dad, we split up when Jacob was 13 months and my husband and I
have been together since he was three. He currently sees his bio dad about once every 6
Weeks… So what do I do?! If I’m brutally honest he’s ruining my days, turning
Them into constant battles, making me sad, upset and even more exhausted… Don’t know if it shows on the post but it’s currently 3am, I’ve been awake for over an hour now as this issue keeps me awake most nights…going over and
Over it in my head… The Aspergers manages to suck the fun out of everything because
He rarely shows excitement or gratitude (never has even as small child/toddler), he can’t really take/understand jokes, is unable
To play fight or really play games… We have an appointment with his consultant on Friday but
Don’t know what they’re gonna do really… I also don’t know if his
Choice of school is appropriate now either… Academically the boy’s a genius, especially at Maths… He can
easily digest facts and figures and regurgitate them so wonderfully like the private school
System loves but common sense and social skills are completely lacking. I know
I can’t HE him, I can’t manage him the
Hours he’s currently at home
So having him home more won’t help either of us, plus I’m about
To give birth any day as well as him having two little brothers at home. So do I consider a school that won’t push him academically (which was what we were told we needed to do to keep him interested and
For him not to become disruptive - although after a meeting at school
Last week he IS becoming disruptive anyway)... I don’t
Know what to do, I don’t know what to
Think, I don’t know how to handle
Him or the situation. Not many of
Our family or my friends
Are aware of his diagnosis, I’m unsure if telling them will make a difference. All I know is that his behaviour is tearing our family apart because of the HUGE amounts of stress it is causing.

Apologies if this is written all higgledy piggledy but I’m writing it on my phone at 3.15am!

TIA ladies x

Just found out it’s Aspergers (It’s a long post - sorry)

2013-03-30T16:35:20Z

It’s taken 9.5 years to get this diagnosis. Having been sent on parenting courses, had a behaviour expert come for 10 weeks to our home, had a 1:1 paid for by us in his class, told to smack him by friends and family, needs more discipline by others, or tell him he has to do it!

It’s added many grey hairs to my head and at times strained all of our relationships within our family.

As we have had nothing happen for 4 years and he has been suffering from bullying at school, which they have been dealing with. The school wanted to bring in Behaviour Management and we have already been down this road and I keep saying his behaviour is the outcome, focus more on the why.

So before they did, I went back to the GP who refers me to the Paed and have to once again go through how he is getting on at school, social settings etc how my pregnancy was (they should be able to tell me, it’s all in his massive file written down each time we visit! Nothing has changed about his birth! lol)

And in front of him without any warning, having gone through a questionaire from the school and us and all his history, bang. She said it. Aspergers. Just like that.

And so now I have walked out of there pleased we have a label? but confused that we now have this label. For you see for me it doesn’t change who he is or how we deal with him, it’s almost like society needed this label to accept him. Overnight the school now views him differently and his IEP will be written differently. Grandparent are sad ‘I thought he would grow out of it’.

I left it a while but I have contacted the National Autistic Society, whom were so very lovely, supportive and helpful. They gave me so much information, leaflets and support groups. But now here’s the thing. I feel really confused.

I have always felt that as a Mother I was judged by his behaviour, I have had random strangers comment and tell me that I should watch ‘Super Nanny as I obviously need tips’ with the child who is having a meltdown. I have felt that I am not good enough. And that I was doing something wrong.

And now this label takes that away for Society to say to me that ‘you’ve done so well with him, that it can’t have been easy!’

I have felt angry, that it has taken so long to get here and sad that maybe in trying to fit in I have wasted time.

But I also don’t feel I fit in now. He is in mainstream school, yet he is different. But if I go to a coffee morning support group, I feel like a fraud, because he is not ‘severe enough’ (yes my stereotying, judgement and fears I know.) So where do we fit in?!

Part of me doesn’t care as we have lived like this for so long and well…

I just want to know if anyone else has felt this or experienced this, not just with a child with ASD but any diagnosis?

No Progress in school

2013-03-30T15:56:41Z

We started at a new school nearly 1 year ago after living abroad for 4 years. My DS2 has made no progress at school. He is on School Action + and he is under a Paed. He has been diagnosed so far with Dyspraxia, hypermobile, Language disorder, Lazy eye, Sensory Processing and wears an eye patch and foot plates. He has school intervention, OT and is awaiting SALT. We are also waiting to see if any other diagnosis comes to light such as Dyslexia and ADD and anything else really.

I feel concerned though as he has scored over 2.5 years younger than his actual age in S&L and the SALT has signed him off, so the school has now re referred him. I have been told he is not far enough behind to warrant a statement, but the lack of process is now a cause for concern.

I am meeting with the school regularly have made suggestions, phoned up for an emergency phone conversation with his paed, doing extra Maths and phonic work at home, also physical exercise such as swimming and football to help his body and piano to help his mind and sequencing and he loves music. Also Beavers for his self esteem and friendships.

Please can anyone advise me on what else I could be doing at home, with the school or support groups. We’ve only been back less than 1 year and it’s been a crazy year. (without evening talking about DS1 diagnosis last week!)

Physical Hypersensitivity

2013-01-13T10:30:48Z

Morning Ladies,

My eldest son, nearly 9, has Aspergers, it’s a relatively recent diagnosis so we’re still trying to figure out what we’re meant to be doing with him in regards to this. Anyway, my post is about what I can only think to describe as a physical hypersensitivity. He has an unusually low pain threshold, he can’t bear to be tickled and if we do he lashes out and kicks REALLY hard which he says is uncontrollable and he’s not doing it on purpose. A couple of examples I can think of was when we’ve had to administer eye drops… remove a splinter… mild constipation… all of these events have caused HYSTERICAL SCREAMING fits that would be acceptable if in acute, unbearable pain. He will only wear clothes that are soft on his skin and cause no irritation eg only cotton or fleece…Labels are a big no-no! He’ll only wear pants and little swimming trunks, he won’t put on boxer shorts or swimming shorts. If he is wearing a jumper with a hood he’ll refuse to wear a coat with a hood because he feels 2 hoods is uncomfortable?!?! I’ve never seen anything like it! Do you think this would be connected to his Aspergers? Does anyone elses child act like this? Could it be something I have brought on by a degree of molly-coddling?! Any suggestions on how to manage it? We currently have three boys and another on the way so time and finances are divided between them all.

Thanks, as always, for your insight and help!x

PS Unsure if this is relevant but only about 4 people are aware of his Aspergers.

Not speaking

2012-11-19T14:06:45Z

Sooo….just trying to work out what is going on with my littlest. He is almost 2 and a half, and has no words at all. He is obviously intelligent, and has had great comprehension since he was tiny. But no words! He makes vehicle sounds, and laughs an infectious belly laugh

Anyone else had similar experience? We’re waiting to hear in regards to a speech therapist referral, so perhaps they will shed some light on it. But it would be so reassuring to hear what you lovely mama’s know on the subject…

Thanks for reading my dears
xxx

Aspergers

2012-11-20T09:35:17Z

Morning ladies x

Yesterday my eldest son was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome… And that was it?!? Where do I go from here?!? I’ve always kinda known it, it’s just that now it’s been confirmed… I’m not any closer to a solution as to how to deal with it then I was at the start of the process… Any pointers? How do I learn how to communicate effectively with him and help him understand the world around him?!?

TIA x

highly sensitive or aspergers?

2012-11-12T00:11:46Z

These “traits” seem to very similar. How would you know the difference?

Soft trousers ...

2012-03-06T17:26:30Z

Can anyone suggest somewhere I can buy soft cotton jersey type trousers , similar to pjs ? X x for boys 5/6 x x

Diatomaceous earth

2012-02-16T23:36:49Z

Just wondering whether anyone out there uses this wonderful stuff, and if so, what do you use it for?

We use it to keep red mite down in the hen house and to keep ‘bugs’ at bay in the house. I am about to order some more and noticed the huge list of uses on the tub… wondered how effective it is for other things - it’s great for red mite…