Greenparent

Attachment Parenting And Siblings

2013-05-23T10:02:52+01:00

I wonder if anyone can offer experience or thoughts.

I have two lovely boys and the single hardest thing about having my second had been helping my first to adjust and accept the new family situation and especially the changed dynamics between him and I. My first was poorly for the first 8 months and we were very physically close, although I know I would have parented in this way even if he hadn’t been poorly. He is also a very strong character and we have had challenges with behaviour and managing his strong emotions for years now (he is currently 4.5). My first refused my cuddles for a year after my second was born :-( although he has now come back to me in this way. My second likes to be physically close to me whenever he can and struggles with jealousy when I cuddle my eldest. He is not walking yet (currently 1.5).

Anyway, we are just about getting there although there remains lots of jealousy, a fair bit of violence, and fighting for affection. I have been trying lots of the playful parenting type approach and have a few hours each week with my eldest to help “fill his cup”. I also find Faber and Mazlish’s Sibling Rivalry brilliant for tips on validating what both siblings may be feeling.

I am now almost 10 weeks pregnant with our third and wondering how I will manage the changed dynamics once again. My gut feeling is my eldest may be ok but my 18 month old may struggle. Any thoughts on what I could be doing in pregnancy to smooth the way?

A new Grandaughter

2013-05-21T23:13:38+01:00

So happy to announce the birth of my third grandchild - born to DD2 and her husband today. She is called Breagha Bethany and is completely perfectly beautiful. In fact her name ( pronounced Breeya) is Scots Gaelic for beautiful
xx

Another spring GP baby!

2013-05-14T20:59:43+01:00

Hello all

Jumping on the baby bandwagon - Ashley was born last Thursday evening at home. He is thriving and we are loving being a family of four.

Blessings
Hexate

Due date list

2008-09-07T16:31:27+01:00

As suggested on the parenting category, here's a due date list. If everyone who wants to just adds their date in where it fits in IYSWIM?

Lucie 4th Feb 2009

Baby Hannah is here!

2013-05-12T12:46:49+01:00

Just a quick stop off to say Hannah arrived at 5.57pm on Friday weighing 9lbs4oz. She’s absolutely beautiful! Still haven’t decided on a second name but will keep you posted!

Home birth?

2013-05-07T12:08:28+01:00

Hello

I’m 29 wks pregnant with baby #4 and am considering a home birth this time round!

My other 3 were born in hospital, and to be honest, I never thought home birth was for me. I’ve never been bothered by hospital and the idea of giving birth at home just never appealed to me before.

However, this time around I have the added complication of my youngest’s medical needs. He has type 1 diabetes and is on an insulin pump. We have been worrying about who will look after him for the birth and then I thought a home birth might be the answer! He doesn’t need round the clock care, but if something went wrong with his pump then at least dp would be here to take 5 mins to deal with it, so that’s one less thing for me to worry about. If I was in hospital then I know I would always be worrying about what if a problem developed and my mum or whoever was panicking and not knowing what to do with him! It’s unlikely that anything would happen, but I’d still worry about the possibility!

Anyway! This pregnancy has been straightforward - my other 3 pregnancies were fine, births too, apart from #1 which ended up in a forceps delivery. So, I can see no reason why a planned home birth may be risky (I know that complications could develop, and we may need transferring to hospital). I have my midwife appointment tomorrow so I shall ask more then.

I’m bloody terrified though! I feel like 4th time around I should be an expert, but I’ve never felt happy with my “performance” giving birth, and actually, I think I’m more terrified this time than I was with my first! OK, #1 I had an epidural so couldn’t feel a thing and was basically left lying there and couldn’t do much to help birth my baby. No. 2 was a very quick and intense labour - 2 hrs in hospital with gas & air, but the pain was awful and I felt I just panicked, and was in a bit of shock afterwards I think. No. 3 I tried for a water birth, but I was so tired I just wanted to sleep, and didn’t care if I fell under the water & drowned. Eventually they made me get out as progress was slow, and ds was born in a few minutes, but again, I felt useless and like my body didn’t “know” what to do. I have never felt an urge to push with any of them, and it’s always felt like bloody hard work and my body won’t do it!

So, although I’m hoping this time being at home I’ll be more relaxed, I’m actually shitting myself! I think I could manage on gas & air, and would like water to labour in, but don’t think we have room for a pool, so would use the bath. But I’m terrified I just panic again and lose focus. I was thinking of getting some hypnobirthing CDs to listen to to try & relax me & stop myself from being anxious & panicking over these next few weeks. I’ve been trying to do meditations / be more mindful, but I thought something more specific might be better? I’ve heard of Maggie Howell & Marie Mongan - any recommendations? Also, Ina May’s book has been mentioned?

I was actually meaning to ask about the practicalities of a home birth, but I seem to have been rather worried about the actual process lol!

The other thing I’m concerned about is possibly frightening my children - they will be 14, 10 & 8, so old enough to know what’s happening, but I still think it may be frightening if their mother is upstairs screaming in pain! And I think my 14 yr old son might die of embarrassment!

Apart from all that, I think it will be lovely to give birth to our final child in our house, have a bath / shower in my own bathroom and get to all snuggle up in our own big bed! I’ve always hated dp getting thrown out a few hrs after the birth - it will be nice to all be together! Dp is supportive either way - I thought he might be against the idea of a home birth, but I think he’s quite excited about the idea, but says it’s up to me - he will support me whatever I decide. He could stay at home with youngest if I wanted to solve that problem, but I do want him at the birth.

So, any advice? Sorry for the long post!

My baby arrived!

2013-05-06T19:16:33+01:00

Saturday evening! Lovely lovely labour and home birth, supported by wonderful NHS midwives who completely respected all our wishes and were unobtrusive and brilliant! Only lasted 2 hours, I used tens machine and my music (everyone had a good sing song!). My daughter, 3, watched the whole thing just like she had asked to! Ds declined! I was so so lucky to have the birth I wanted and as this will be the last one I am thrilled to bits!

Baby girl, phoebe, weighed 6lb12 (smallest out of all 3!)

AJ x

B12 injections

2013-05-03T09:53:46+01:00

Relating to this thread http://thegreenparent.co.uk/forums/viewthread/24748/ it turned out my decreasing iron levels were due to low serum B12 levels. I saw my GP yesterday and have been prescribed a course of six vitamin B12 injections over the next fortnight and had the first one yesterday. I also had to have another blood test - this time for pernicious anaemia.

I don’t think it’s pernicious anaemia (And I’m definitely hoping not as I don’t fancy needing B12 injections every couple of months for the rest of my life! ) - I think it’s a combination of dilution due to increased blood volume and 4 years of breastfeeding before I became pregnant (although I’m not vegan I’ve never consumed much dairy products/eggs and I’m not a big eater of fortified cereals etc - I’ve probably been having enough B12 in my diet just for me but not to support long-term breastfeeding followed by pregnancy).

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else has needed B12 injections (not necessarily due to pregnancy) and how long it took for them to kick in. I’ve not really admitted to myself before now how totally wiped out/drained/exhausted I’ve actually bee feeling (not to mention constant mouth ulcers, muscle cramps, weird aches and tingles, which I’ve just put down to pregnancy but I’ve since found out are also symptomatic of low B12) and it’d be nice to have some energy back before baby arrives (I’m 33 weeks today )

help through morning sickness

2013-04-30T21:40:29+01:00

well that wonderful sickness is getting in my way !
but it’s different this time I just feel sick all day, not being sick much just feel it. with my boys I would be actually sick in the morning and oth ugh slow could carry on with my day, then later on a would get bad travel sickness. with the girls I ended up in hospital by 8 weeks with sickness that had turned to dehydration ! as I currently have no acess to my brain can I have every body’s pearls of wisdom on how to manage. dd has just started school so I am doing the school run whilst dh is working away, and home educating the others. we currently have no tv , and no sofa as new one was meant to be delivered this week but not heard Ny thing .

Boosting pregnancy iron levels

2013-03-28T22:06:37+01:00

28 week midwife appointment today and my iron levels have dropped to 9.9 (they were a nice healthy 12.4 at 12weeks). I admit my diet has been pretty crap recently and after a 5 week break I’ve only just bought some more Spatone after running out. I wasn’t veggie during my last pregnancy and had no problems so I’m pretty certain it is diet related this time and not just down to being pregnant.

Anyway, going to start taking 2 sachets of spatone daily again and have a jar of blackstrap molasses in the cupboard so will have a tbsp of that a day. Also going to quit the tea/coffee and invest in a cast iron frying pan. I want to boost my iron levels naturally rather than resort to the prescribed iron tablets my midwife has arranged. Anyway, i was wondering if anyone had any other suggestions, or favourite veggie iron rich recipes?

Thanks!