Hello, I’m having a really bad week, and need some help and advice. I’ll start from the beginning and see where I end up. I am going to try and be as positive as possible!
I’m thirteen weeks pregnant, which is fantastic, and my husband and I are really excited about! I’m just coming out of the sicky stage, which is also a relief! I have a wonderful wonderful 14 month old son too. I was made redundant (after 7 years in my local council) whilst pregnant with DS1 and had to battle for every penny of my maternity pay, and then I was put on to contribution based Job seekers allowance once that ended. The Job seekers ended today, and I have been told I will not be entiltled to any other benefits ( Income based JSA, Income support ect) as my husband works full time. I tried to explain that we are on a low income, but apparently it does not matter! I am taking action to appeal against this claim.
I am self employed as a baby sign language teacher which unfortunately is not going as well as it could, the current financial climate is really taking its toll.
We have lived frugally for a long time, but now we are going to really struggle. We don’t eat meat very often, and not at all at the moment, but we eat lots of organic vegetables, (1 mini friut &veg;box per week) we don’t buy alcohol or chocolate, and we don’t smoke, go out for coffees etc or buy new clothes. We have cancelled the childminder which my DS went to 5 hrs a week, so I could do my biz admin and some cleaning. We live rurally and as I don’t drive (we have a car my husband drives to work) I feel cut off as the bus is £8 return to my local town. Its feels like every little pleasure has gone, and then I feel the guilt creeping in because I do think deep down that I do have very little real worries, in the bigger, global picture.
I guess its the hormones over riding me at the moment, but i’m just so anxious about it!
How do you cut back, and still be kind to the planet? I insist our veg and dairy is organic and our cleaning/body products are environmentally friendly, and we just stretch them that little bit further….Nappies are a mix of moltex and washables (not good with morning sickess!) We make our own bread, and healthy muffins for my DS.
I dont know what else I can do, but i’m sure there are plenty, I just need some advice!!
Many thanks for reading, I’m off to bed now as Tommie is another day, and I hope I’ll feel better!
One thing that might help you to know is that you will be topped up by tax credits to £15k, which is the level that JSA/income support would top you up to anyway. I know that doesn’t go too far, but it is something to know that you wouldn’t get any more if they gave you income support anyway, as it only goes to top up everything else you have coming in once you are out of contributions based benefits.
Hmm, so… Meal planning very carefully, which I’m sure you already do. Using more staples and storecupboard basics (organic ones are still cheaper than the bulk of your food being fresh stuff). Adding some staples to bulk out meals, so that you can make two meals at once and freeze one lot. Buying bulk staples, especially if you can find a wholefoods co-op that deliver locally to you. Stews, soups, pasta sauces, rissotto, things like that will probably be your best cheap staple meals. Growing whatever you can, even if it’s in window boxes, and asking around for plant pots, seeds, spare compost, anything you can scrounge or borrow! Lowering consumer expectations for birthdays etc and trying to make more gifts yourselves. Bartering or going second hand for clothes, and accepting any offer of hand me downs. These are all things that lots of green families do anyway, but are essential when you are on a really low income.
And (hugs) plan some treats into your new budget. We head into town once a week, and do story time and the library. Even when things are really tight and we can only just scrape bus fare, we take a picnic and sit somewhere nice to eat it, and sometimes feed the ducks if I remember to pack a little bag of mixed grains. Buying second hand books and trading for things that I really want, too. I often try to sell some books I’m not using if I really want to place an amazon order or buy a new wooden toy (I recently got Christmas presents with a tax credits rebate and money from selling a load of crochet commissions and a much-loved but not much-used didymos wrap sling).
Best of luck working out your new habits, and hang in there. I have always been surprised by, in spite of constant financial crisis, how rich I have felt during these times. Somehow, I don’t think we have ever REALLY gone without.
I will probably be slated for this, as I know, know, know it is less Eco- friendly, but here goes…. You sound so lonely, and actually quite panicky about not being able to afford the (extortionate) bus fare. We are in the same boat as you - very low income and only one car. Our way round it is for me to take my husband into work, so that I can have the car. Some days I dint use the car anyway, but I have that freedom, and that means everything.
On a practical note - make certain you are getting as much working and child tax credit as you can, and see whether you can claim housing benefit.
I’m afraid there is no way round it, if your partner works more than 24 hours a week you cannot claim income based jsa or income support. Sorry-the rules seem a bit random at times-the idea is that you are getting some money via Tax Credits, however iirc contribution based JSA isn’t counted for tax credit purposes, hence this drop in income isn’t made up when it stops. Do double check this-it is several years since I worked in this area. But also think its best to forewarn you that a straightforward appeal based on low income won’t work, because that’s not the criteria they use.
(Basically because they want both partners in work. Not sure how things are now, but a few years ago it was disproportionately better to have 2 working adults in a family, even if only 16 hours a week each, rather than 1 full time and one at home with kids. Don’t get me started on this incredibly short sighted policy…)
But I’d check you are getting everything else. You might qualify for housing or council tax benefit. Are you tax credit payments correct? etc. This is a good site =>
As for frugal living-you sound as if you are doing very well. Would growing your own food and making your own cleaning etc products be an option? I think you need a round of applause for how much you ARE doing, actually.
Radical suggestion though it may be, long term, do you need to live rurally? I think rural living can be expensive. TBH being dependant on the car is a big reason why we’ve never moved to the country. If this is likely to be a long term thing-woudl you consider a temporary relocation to town?
We used to take dp into work sometimes also, when we needed the car
I’d also look into buying your organic fruit and veggies from a supermarket (have a supermarket delivery if need be, or else use the car and do it after work/on a weekend if your hubby has the car).
It may not be any better but in my experience it costs quite a bit less to buy organic fresh produce from a supermarket tha a veg box scheme.
Oh, and will he eat flapjack? Oats (even organic) can be bought pretty cheaply and will go a long way, it may work out cheaper than muffins since you only need oats butter and a spoon or two of treacle/syrup (and can add chopped fruit/raisins/choc chips etc if you want, we don’t ‘cos my kids actually prefer it just plain)
I also think that *at least* some of the time you could drive your hubby to work & pick him up so you have the car during the day. (Or if he works a long way away, could you drop him at a train station? some of the time and he get the train in?)
Re: the babysigning… could you approach surestart centres to see if they would allow you to use their rooms (perhaps even free) for you to run classes from there.. and maybe offer a discount to staff or something? Or maybe even check out the libraries? #Although you say you’re rural so I don’t know what access is like to those sort of places.
I think Edith has made a very good suggestion regarding rural living - I save a fortune because nearly everything I need I can walk to, and the countryside isn’t that far away, and there’s the beach, lovely parks. Sure I miss living in the country - but it did occur to me a while back that actually I’ve lived in the subhurbs longer now than I lived in the countryside… that is my ideal of course country living… but for the time being subhurbs makes more economic sense for me - especially for my business (childminder) too.
Cleaning products wise; hot water and a little soap will clean effectively - chemical cleaners really aren’t necessary at all… and for that little extra cleaning power, white vinegar and bicarb will effectively tackle just about all household jobs… I can’t actually think of one it won’t, thinking about it. I also save an absolute fortune by using soapnuts for my laundry - I do buy commerical (eco) washing powder/liquids every now and again just because soapnuts cannot - especially at low temps - remove stains… nonetheless I’e been using them now for nearly 4 years and I probably spend about £20 or so a year on soapnuts for laundry and then perhaps another £20-30 a year on the occasional laundry liquid.
And I agree with Phoenix, too. While I prefer veg from the veg box scheme because I do not wholly trust supermarkets…. organic veg from them is usually cheaper, and places like Sainsburys have started offering organic frozen veg - which can offer even better savings. And when I was very strapped for cash I became very selective in what I bought organic.. so things tha could be peeled, oranges, bananas etc I would buy non organic… things like apples, pears etc I ‘d buy organic. If you’re able to grow any of your own food, even better savings to be made.
And yes, do check that you’re getting all the tax credits etc that you should be.
(((hugs)))
I just checked in, in the middle of the night, so want to climb back upstairs to bed - but just wondering…...can you start growing your own (the cheapest way to organic fruit and veg) and cut your outgoings on utility bills? Make sure you take advantage of grants etc for insulation before winter (even without a grant it will pay back quickly), look up haybox cookery (you can improvise something from what you already have), what appliances could you do without (if you have a dryer that will be costing a lot to run). Tell us more and I´m sure we can come up with specific solutions….♥
Hi Babs, I know it can be very hard on a low income, i have 6 children and we are on a low income. I just wanted to say have you looked at the Inland revenue website, because if you are self employed and pay national insurance contributions , you could be able to get maternity allowance for 39 weeks. If you have paid your stamp for 13 weeks ( i think ). Also i don’t think it effects your tax credits. Please don’t quote me on this but do check it out for yourself. I also found Job centre plus helpline really helpful for advise on claiming maternity allowance.
Hope this is of some help.
Caroline
How do you cut back, and still be kind to the planet? I insist our veg and dairy is organic and our cleaning/body products are environmentally friendly, and we just stretch them that little bit further….Nappies are a mix of moltex and washables (not good with morning sickess!) We make our own bread, and healthy muffins for my DS.
I dont know what else I can do, but i’m sure there are plenty, I just need some advice!!
well I hope you woke up feeling better too hon. I really admire what you are doing already. For us, I’ve pared right back on household cleaners and toiletries.
For example. I make a spray up with 5 drops lavender, 5 drops lemon and this is put in a plant mister and topped up with water. That is used for virtually everything - wiping over the kitchen table, floors, work surface etc. And I do buy a bottle of Jif because DH likes it for cleaning; so if I want him to clean that’s what i do!
For personal products I use shampoo for most things - my hair, as a ‘shaving foam’ etc I don’t use conditioner, don’t cleanse, tone and moisturise - water is enough along with a couple of times a week I mix up some yogurt and oats and use that as an exfoliator. I use a couple of drops of jojoba oil on my face as and when I need it, but you could use grapeseed oil bought from the supermarket.
Regarding food, I would tend to go for things like barley, oats and lentils to bulk things out - anything from soups to bakes to minced meat and buy a sack of potatoes - £4 buys 25kgs around here; not so much this time of year but certainly during the autumn. I guess you are buying seasonally already and of course look at anything you waste - try not to waste food (I’m sure you don’t but just reminding that we might as well put our food in the bin if we’re going to do that).
I guess you probably use leftovers too, but just as an example on Sunday I cook chicken, the next day some is served with white sauce and veg, the next day some will be added with veg to pasta and I’ll make curries. I bulk these out with potatoes / lentils / oats too to make things go further.
Really though, DO plan treats for yourself - a picnic, half an hour in the bath with your favourite oils, some nice books from the library. I really feel for you, but I think you are going to do just fine. Why not have another go at the baby signing - I know if you hit the right market you’ll get floods of enquiries.
there is some great advice here - i hope you’re feeling a bit brighter today.
I agree with Joxy about approaching your surestart centre or library - you could also try arts centres, nursery’s settings. I’m sure you’ve tried them all, but just a thought. I know ideally you’d want to get paid, but if you volunteered to do it they should cover your expenses for travel and refreshments. It would enable you to get out with little cost and you may meet other parents. You find it’s a good bit of recruiting for running a course.
The other thing we have around here is a community bus that picks people up, especially the elderly. It might be worth seeing if there is anything like that too and approaching them.
We didn’t have a second car when ds was born and i found it really isolating and lonely. Other mums were really helpful and would come to see us, or offer to pick us up so we could go out occasionally. I was lucky enough that sometime he could work from home and that enabled me to get out and about then by myself. I also used to go with him to work and spend the day out of the house.
You sound like you are doing amazingly well. Good luck with everything.
I can completely sympathise with you having been in a very similar situation. We do not live rurally and I must say this helps MASSIVELY, though moving perhaps isn’t an option. You could always use living rurally to your advantage, of course you may be feeling isolated, however just think of what you have got that the rest of us haven’t? Nature on your door step, beautiful and scenic walks (regardless of the weather, rain is always fun with little ones!!) You could fill your days collecting things from nature (asking permission first of course) and make ‘weather pictures’ or collages and sculptures with your little one.
Try to see things as a positive rather than dwelling on how awful things are, I know that sounds difficult and I’m sure you are already doing so! Think of all the wonderful things you do have, they will very quickly outweigh what you don’t. The more often we give thanks for what we have in life, the less we seek for.
As for being frugal, I’m sure we all strive for less expenditure!! I can’t really give any more tips than have already been given/that you likely do already. Something I try to do is batch cook and batch buy. Its fantastic when half way through a month you can go to your freezer and find a whole world of treats!!
I agree that this is a great time of year for foraging! I live somewhere between rural and town, yet there are tonnes of mushrooms popping up, even on the road side! (some completely inedible, others have already been part of a stew!) I’m sure where you live you could create a whole meal and more with purely foraged food (again always asking permission, I’m sure She won’t mind sharing Her fruits with you!)
Also, making your beauty products is a lovely fulfilling way to save some cash. You can get hold of a Kilo of beeswax from ebay or somewhere similar for about a fiver which is fab to make lush bars of soap (just add some dired lavender buds or cinnamon) but you can also use it to wash your clothes, some grated in the wash compartment of your machine will do the trick.
Anyway, I sincerely wish you all the luck with your new baby and urge you remember what a fantastic job you are already doing, always remember your worth as a partner, mother and woman.
Hi, I also think you’re doing very well already, hang in there! However, I would not necessarily advise you to just shop at supermarkets or to drop organic food altogether without knowing what your reasons for choosing an organic box scheme were in the first place. Supermarkets may be cheaper, but why, at what cost to the environment, and to people? Also, if you drive there, you’ll have to factor that into your costs, and if you have stuff delivered, you will have to pay for delivery. Organic food is not just about how much pesticide residue is on the fruit and veg, it’s about many other things, respect for the environment, animal welfare, workers welfare, local food vs food miles, etc, not to mention taste. I know this may not be a very useful reply, and I apologise for that, but I feel very strongly about organic agriculture being more than just about pesticide use. I’m not saying that you cannot go back to conventionally grown stuff, or that it would make you a bad person or anything like that, I understand your situation is a very difficult one. I’ve had times when I had very little money to live on, and I found it most helpful to have a budget, however small, for everything, including treats. It’s a matter of balancing needs, and sometimes some principles have to be compromised, and that’s fine, but at least you know why you’re doing what you’re doing. Hope things improve soon! All the best, M xxx
Firstly I want to say a massive massive thankyou to you all for being so thoughtful. I’m really touched.
Its been a good week, with a couple of set backs, my local surestart centre has postponed my classes due to my CRB check taking for ever to come back, but nevermind- it gives me more time to get people enrolled!
I had a really good productive week, bar the sickeness! My little boy has twigged onto my recent change of heart- he has started to sleep for two and a half hours in the afternoon, so I can really get on with stuff, he has only ever slept for 45 mins at a time before. Bless him.
We have been out foraging (We got apples slows and blackberries, to make pies and some slow gin post baby, so that’s very exciting) and done a whole load of research how we can cut our shopping back even further.
We regrettably tried some of sainsburys basic items (excluding meat frit veg) The ingredients are terrible (grease and salt city!) , and none of the packaging is recyclable!
We have been doing store cupboards cooking nights- was a bit of a laugh doing some random ready steady cooking!
After trying that out, we knew that food is the one thing we cant scrimp too savagely on. We always sit and eat as a family, it’s a real pleasure for us- so we decided to really make cut backs elsewhere.
Ive been phoning the Tax credit people everyday, its continually busy- so frustrating, you don’t even go on hold, they just cut you off, but that’s being done.
We are planning Christmas already,(its hard when my inlaws spoil us rotten over Christmas) and I will be posting on here shortly for creative ideas for gifts I’m sure!
We have been getting out in the beautiful sunshine, taking picnics to our local park, and going to the local free baby group, which I avoided before, feeling too shy, how silly, when I normally teach them!
I love where I live, its rural and its cheap, I’m in a beautiful spot in a deprived area, so rent compared to town is a bargain. When I lived in town I was in the charity shops a lot more, and stopping for tea and cakes all the time!
I watched the sun come up this morning and thought, I don’t have two pennies to rub together, but I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful son whom I feel deeply connected with, a healthy baby on the way, Im surrounded by nature, good friends, good food, and I live in a house that rings with laughter everyday. I think I’m pretty rich.
Thanks for helping me get perspective.
Love,
Babs
x
Much love and blessings Babs, I’m pleased you have been able to look objectively at your life and can feel gratitude for the love you have in your home. It needn’t be full of lavish things, just always keep at the fore front of your mind how lucky and loved you are, and what a wonderful wonderful life it is!!!
Recently I have cancelled our cable TV, cancelled the charity donations I gave every month, cancelled monthly contact lenses and dug out my glasses, started doing my bulk shopping at ASDA rather than TESCO, stopped ordering it to be delivered on line (I would love to shop all from the Health Food shop but since I had kids and started working pt not ft that has been impossiible!) These changes have saved me £58 a month. I buy our organic veg from the local farmers market every week which costs me between £5 and £10 a week. Moltex are really expensive! Is there anyway you can face using just washables? I am thankful we have (although I hate the washing bit!) as I could never have budgeted nappies in every month otherwise!
We have stopped smoking and drinking or doing anything for ourselves. I have cancelled all social arrangements I had for the next few months too. I got really depressed about it the other day (probably because I had PMT!) But like you say, in the scheme of things, globally, my troubles aren’t that big.
The way benefits, tax credits etc work I think low income working class familys are stuck in a cycle they cannot easily get out of - if I were to take on another job to help through the hard times they would tax me more as it’s a second income and I’d get less tax credit for childcare because my earnings would be higher. I really want to retrain and go do something a)thats more giving to others and b) is better paid but there’s no way we could afford to survive ono one income whilst I spend 3 or 4 years studying for something else! We are stuck in a place where we can only survive rather than better ourselves.
I have to constantly remind myself I have my health, my family, a house, hot water & electricty and food .... I don’t NEED anymore but sometimes it’d just be nice to be able to treat the kids or something ...
chin up honey! I hope things get better for you, I think a lot of familys are feeling it at the moment, hopefully there are better times to come for us.
Lowering consumer expectations for birthdays etc and trying to make more gifts yourselves. Bartering or going second hand for clothes, and accepting any offer of hand me downs. These are all things that lots of green families do anyway, but are essential when you are on a really low income.
