I’ve just finished reading “Simplicity Parenting” and I know the book has been mentioned a lot on here, so wondered if anyone would like to share their views. For example, did you implement any of the author’s recommendations, and if so what effect did this have? What elements were already in place in your daily life? Was there anything new which particularly struck you and gave you a turning point?
Things I already had in place would be no TV, radio or newspapers (OH reads news online everyday, I deliberately avoid it.)
We have loads of “ordinary days” at home with nothing planned or organised. I was tending to think of this as a failing on my part, but feel a bit better about it now!
I declutter every now and then but there’s lots more I could do. T’s room need major simplifying.
Things I could improve are the rhythm of the day, as our days are quite unstructured, especially in school holidays (although I like that, but maybe it’s not the best thing for T). Family meals round the table are not the joyous occasions depicted in most parenting books, but as this book has once again reinforced the importance of them, and he’s an author who I feel I trust, I’ll keep working on it.
I must admit I rather like his suggestion of very regular and repetitive weekly meal plans, not being an adventurous cook. I posted up a 4-week plan on here a while back, which I’m using, but this would be even simpler.
The part about not including your child in discussions of adult issues and problems made me think. Obviously we don’t talk about blatantly unsuitable subjects in front of T, but we probably do talk too much about stuff which he doesn’t need to know about, and which may make him feel insecure and doubt our ability to be strong and safe base for him.
The idea of using the filter “Is it True, Kind, Necessary?” before speaking really stood out for me, and it’s the main thing I’m going to concentrate on for a while. With the way I speak to OH and others, as well as my son.
I’m sure there’s more I meant to mention, but would love to hear anyone’s views and ideas about the book.
Thanks for all the recommendations for it - I was so pleased when a friend produced it to lend me!
i have been reading this book for a while now, i am not much of a reader really and i am finding it really slow… really slow, very repetative in places and i often read it and think “get to the point”!! - sorry that could just be me.
so i have not got much past the part about decluttering which i am totally up for although some of it is a little too radical for me. i think only 5 books is a little harsh but then i am a teacher so i love books. i can however see the point of having a small amount of books and really getting to know/love them.
i am looking forward to reading the rest, i just have to be in the right mood for it!!!
I did a post yesterday about simple living, and a few people really want to live a simpler life and so I am keen to see what people come up with. I haven’t read the book so I can’t discuss it but really want to. I do think it is important to live more simply especially when you see what is going on in the world at the moment.
Missking, I feel the same about the books, I never feel that they count as clutter, and have only ever seen it as an advantage being surrounded by them. But I agree with his point about tv tie-in type books and huge series’ which turn into quantity rather than quality. Most of our enormous book stash are old books, and I’m happy to have them all around, so that’s one thing I won’t be changing! As for reading speed, I’m the opposite - I raced through it in a few days so probably a lot went in one ear and out of the other! I hope you enjoy the rest when the time is right
Hi Snowleopard, I saw your post about simplicity yesterday and meant to reply to it and talk about this book, then I decided to finish reading it first! I’d really recommend you read it when you can. I think the copy I borrowed was bought for our LLL group library, otherwise I would have lent it to you. The point the author made at the end was quite moving for me - that when you de-stress your children’s lives they do the same back for you.
Lol - while fully understanding the undesirability of multi-tasking, here I am writing this while simultaneously de-cluttering T’s wardrobe and trying to pretend I’m not using the computer so as not to set a bad example!
Eta yes, looking forward to hearing about it, Mama4.
I really enjoyed the book, we do use some of its ideas and are implementing a couple more. Most recently, we have been decluttering and making the spaces in our home more simple and ordered. I couldn’t do having only a limited number of books and toys available, but I do find that if we keep toys that aren’t currently being played with in their homes (but still all accessible to the children) they actually play more and seem to come up with more ideas.
We do spend a lot of time at home, Leni in particular really needs it. I don’t limit screen time, they watch lots of TV, but also choose to do lots of other things too and it isn’t a problem for me. They get so many ideas from TV that we would never have thought of otherwise. Leni chooses to play video games about once or twice a week for half an hour or so and I see so much value and joy in it, she has incredible computer skills, especially for someone who can’t read!
I don’t really understand how multi-tasking is undesirable, but then I like to spend my time with a good film, a good book and some knitting all going at once and have a tendency to destroy things if I don’t have enough to keep my mind occupied.
i have been reading this book for a while now, i am not much of a reader really and i am finding it really slow… really slow, very repetative in places and i often read it and think “get to the point”!! - sorry that could just be me.
x
No, not just you - I read this for interest and like many books similar to it I found they were like that too and often left me thinking that I haven’t learned anything new.
I’m a real book lover, we all are here and restricting what we have would not make us happy so I think you have to think personally about what simplicity and a simpler life means to you. There would (and have been in the past) be many different opinions of a simpler life just from members on here who have a similar ethos on life.
I’m a multi-tasker too and find it therapeutic to be doing more than one thing at a time as well as useful sometimes, another thing that I think comes down to individual personality. Also I think we have to think about what simplicity and leading a simpler life means to all those living in the same house - one persons simple is another persons chaos or too minimalist for some. I do think that we have to take all personality types and wishes/desires into consideration - those of our partners and our children.
As I mentioned on SnowLeopard’s post yesterday, we are really working on simplicity in our home, in how much ‘stuff’ is in our home, the food we eat, filtering out things little one’s don’t need to hear about, I think it will aways be a work in progress for us though. With regards to decluttering, at the moment, I am finding it hard to know where to stop? How simple does a family go? One thing I do know, is it has stopped me buying useless things/impulse purchasing. Because I know it will just end up being sent to charity. On a negative side, sometimes I now feel anxious when I see some ‘clutter’ lying around (but in the past I have had to deal with an ‘anxious’ personality because of bad health, don’t know why it is surfacing again?!) I don’t know if anyone else has experienced this after they have had a huge clear out?
Mama, you raised a couple of things I hadn’t thought to mention!
The way I declutter is, well, firstly I don’t touch the children’s stuff. It doesn’t belong to me, I do ask them if there is anything they have finished with that they would like to pass on to someone else (or put away for the next child down!) though. For house stuff, I don’t buy anything, I only have decorative items that are either made by someone in the house or are gifts from others. I wouldn’t declutter anything that specifically belongs to Chris either, but I like to keep to having ‘just enough’ clothes and try hard to only buy yarn when I need it! As we have a bit more money than we have ever had before at the moment we’re trying to replace things that wear out with fewer, better quality things (recent case in point being glasses as we seem to have had a spate of breaking them!)
I’m good at food simplicity, it doesn’t seem to take me as much effort as some other things (tidying!) do. I’ve gone on about it a lot on here, but I mainly use the slow cooker and match spices etc to what veg come in the box. I plan for one or two more cooking intensive meals during the week, usually a roast on sundays and either a stir fry or a more exciting pasta dish in the week, just because I enjoy cooking when I have time to concentrate on it! We mainly snack on fresh and dried fruit and rice cakes.
*Mama*, for a while after a big de-clutter or reorganise I do get anxious when things start to build up again. I’ve managed to stop it this time by having a ‘stair basket’ to chuck things in that I can then take up next time I’m going. I feel better with things being ‘in the process of being put away’!
I haven’t got to the part aout not involving cildren in adult issues yet (I find the book a slow read too - I am persevering with it on and off, but it’s not one I enjoy), but that isn’t something we will be implimenting. I firmly believe that Grace is a member of our family and should be involved in family decisions to the best of her ability. We listen to her opinion and take it into consideration - it doesn’t neccessarily get the same weight as ours (she is two and doesn’t see the long-term implications), but it is definitely listened to. For example, when we veiw houses/flats, she comes with us and tells us what she likes or doesn’t like about the property. One place had a noisy, aggressive sounding dog next door and she wouldn’t set foot in the garden.That made our decision for us, as a garden is really important to her. Had we not taken her along, we may not have noticed that and may have struggled living there.
I don’t like the idea at all that children should be shielded at all costs from negitivity - it seems very old fashioned, and I’m very aware of my dad, for instance, not being told that his mum was seriously ill until she died, and then not eing allowed to go to the funeral. Of course children should be allowed to be children, but not to the extent of living in a little fantasy buble where nothing bad ever happens…. Being part of adult decision making seems to actually empower children, rather than scare them.
I haven’t got to the part aout not involving cildren in adult issues yet (I find the book a slow read too - I am persevering with it on and off, but it’s not one I enjoy), but that isn’t something we will be implimenting. I firmly believe that Grace is a member of our family and should be involved in family decisions to the best of her ability. We listen to her opinion and take it into consideration - it doesn’t neccessarily get the same weight as ours (she is two and doesn’t see the long-term implications), but it is definitely listened to. For example, when we veiw houses/flats, she comes with us and tells us what she likes or doesn’t like about the property. One place had a noisy, aggressive sounding dog next door and she wouldn’t set foot in the garden.That made our decision for us, as a garden is really important to her. Had we not taken her along, we may not have noticed that and may have struggled living there.
I don’t like the idea at all that children should be shielded at all costs from negitivity - it seems very old fashioned, and I’m very aware of my dad, for instance, not being told that his mum was seriously ill until she died, and then not eing allowed to go to the funeral. Of course children should be allowed to be children, but not to the extent of living in a little fantasy buble where nothing bad ever happens…. Being part of adult decision making seems to actually empower children, rather than scare them.
Angie
I *think* the book mostly refers to things in the outside world ( news items like disasters/accidents etc etc can bring on anxiousness in small children) I personally feel there is time enough when they are older to know the realities of the world, and I don’t want my little ones hearing/seeing this when they are small. I want them to live in the childhood bubble a little bit longer IYKWIM. About adult discussions, I think it also meant not discussing problems about work for example, again something that doesn’t really need to be on a young child’s shoulders in my opinion. I do not think it meant not involving little ones in decision making.
Mama, you raised a couple of things I hadn’t thought to mention!
The way I declutter is, well, firstly I don’t touch the children’s stuff. It doesn’t belong to me, I do ask them if there is anything they have finished with that they would like to pass on to someone else (or put away for the next child down!) though. For house stuff, I don’t buy anything, I only have decorative items that are either made by someone in the house or are gifts from others. I wouldn’t declutter anything that specifically belongs to Chris either, but I like to keep to having ‘just enough’ clothes and try hard to only buy yarn when I need it! As we have a bit more money than we have ever had before at the moment we’re trying to replace things that wear out with fewer, better quality things (recent case in point being glasses as we seem to have had a spate of breaking them!)
I’m good at food simplicity, it doesn’t seem to take me as much effort as some other things (tidying!) do. I’ve gone on about it a lot on here, but I mainly use the slow cooker and match spices etc to what veg come in the box. I plan for one or two more cooking intensive meals during the week, usually a roast on sundays and either a stir fry or a more exciting pasta dish in the week, just because I enjoy cooking when I have time to concentrate on it! We mainly snack on fresh and dried fruit and rice cakes.
*Mama*, for a while after a big de-clutter or reorganise I do get anxious when things start to build up again. I’ve managed to stop it this time by having a ‘stair basket’ to chuck things in that I can then take up next time I’m going. I feel better with things being ‘in the process of being put away’!
Clarexxx
Thank you for your reply! I did declutter some of my older daughters things in her room, some we did together, and some I did while she was in school. We really wanted to simplify each room in the house. When I decluttered anything when she wasn’t there, I picked up things that I never saw her read/play with, which had just become ‘‘mess’ and they were getting in the way. My husband and I did his stuff together (A few weeks ago he had about 25 shirts? Now he has about 7!) And my stuff, I really, really cut down on things I didn’t want or need in my life. Since we got rid of so much stuff, housework is so much quicker!
i have been reading this book for a while now, i am not much of a reader really and i am finding it really slow… really slow, very repetative in places and i often read it and think “get to the point”!! - sorry that could just be me.
so i have not got much past the part about decluttering which i am totally up for although some of it is a little too radical for me. i think only 5 books is a little harsh but then i am a teacher so i love books. i can however see the point of having a small amount of books and really getting to know/love them.
i am looking forward to reading the rest, i just have to be in the right mood for it!!!
x
Hello
Maybe you would prefer ‘Mitten Strings for God’ a lovely simple book, about simplicity, a real easy read that I have read twice now. So inspirational! I love, love that book! I prefer reading it to SP! I think I got it for a couple of pounds from Amazon Marketplace.
Also I think we have to think about what simplicity and leading a simpler life means to all those living in the same house - one persons simple is another persons chaos or too minimalist for some. I do think that we have to take all personality types and wishes/desires into consideration - those of our partners and our children.
Too true. I stuggle with this!
I think it is a hard balance sometimes, especially for the person who’s main job is caring/running the home as they are the one’s who know how a home runs best and who has to sort/clean/tidy everything.
About multi-tasking - I don’t think it’s undesirable when one thing doesn’t interfere or take away from another. I also have to have knitting or something to do while watching a film. It’s more a situation like exchanging texts with a friend while supposedly playing a game with your child, or being repeatedly asked to “watch, mummy!” and missing the moment because your attention was elsewhere. I am sometimes guilty of this sort of thing and I annoy myself, so it must be really annoying and disappointing for my son.
About decluttering - I agree that the other people in the house should be considered and included. This can get forgotten when we are fired up and on a mission, so I usually put things in a kind of “holding area” if I’m not certain about getting rid of them, then if they are still there by the next declutter they can go.
Mama, you’re so right to remember the person who has to sort/clean/tidy everything. My OH surrounds himself with clutter but he never dusts or vaccuums, so as I do all the cleaning I do feel a little bit entitled to make my task easier!
