Angiegw - 28 October 2011 03:12 PM

I heard most of the debate (not the comments afterwards). And to me it sounded like the whole thing had been been picked up by the media and run with. Both mum and daughter sounded rational and loving - the mumclearly had a great relationship with her daughter despite their different view points. I wonder whether this was just a mum letting off steam to mates via a blog or twitter or something, and the debate got into the public arena and was hugely inflated. It really didn’t seem that it was affecting their relationship in any way, and both of them made really rational points.

Angie

Ah you make some good points there.  Usually they discuss news issues, such as big news ones, and then small local ones that include a big issue, but I did think it was a ridiculous topic.  Usually the topics they discuss are in that day’s Metro paper, but this wasn’t.
I think Vanessa annoyed me more saying the girl should be pleasing her mum.

I haven’t listened to the debate, but I perhaps I’m the only one who thinks that “it’s none of her business” attitude towards the mother is hugely disrespectful?  Whilst an 18 year old is obviously an adult and is free to make their own choices, I would like to think that my children, whether they are 18 or 80 would respect my opinion (although not necessarily go with it).  If I had a disagreement with my 18 y o son/daughter and they told me it was none of my business, i would be deeply hurt!

I didn’t feel that the 18 year old *did* say that it was none of her mum’s business - she seemed very respectful throughout, whilst maintaining that she wasn’t prepared to change her look unless her mum thought that it was actually changing her personality. Even that comment in itself made me feel that she was a pretty mature and self-aware teenager. It was the presenter (and maybe others - I didn’t hear the comments) who questioned whether it was any of the mother’s business.

Angie

Angiegw - 01 November 2011 09:58 PM

I didn’t feel that the 18 year old *did* say that it was none of her mum’s business - she seemed very respectful throughout, whilst maintaining that she wasn’t prepared to change her look unless her mum thought that it was actually changing her personality. Even that comment in itself made me feel that she was a pretty mature and self-aware teenager. It was the presenter (and maybe others - I didn’t hear the comments) who questioned whether it was any of the mother’s business.

Angie

I was referring to some of the responses here actually!

ummsalam - 02 November 2011 05:49 AM

I was referring to some of the responses here actually!

My response was of the opinion that it is none of her business, but like others - I didn’t actually say or think she should turn around and say it in a disrespectful way to the mother. You’ve made an assumption of peoples replies there.

I agree that being respectful is important, and mothers/parents are entitled to opinions but at the end of the day when the child is 18, it really is up to them what they do. I didn’t listen to the programme (not a radio programme I would listen to) so cannot comment but it doesn’t sound like the daughter was disrespectful either.

I’m with the 18-year-old on this - it’s entirely up to her how she wants to present herself. I was a goth at 18, too. I had a fantastic time of it, as everyone that age should be, I reckon.