Oh dear, after a calm morning, got a bit shouty with Babes this morning on the issue of coats.

Coats are expensive. Now that the weather is colder and the mornings are darker they are also essential. We get out and about quite a bit so I try to have more than one as a back up. Coat number one (high vis number) got left on the bus by DH. Coat number two got left at school yesterday (expensive school coat) we had a parent-teacher meet - were a bit late and I forgot to check.

So cold morning this morning and the only coat I had left was a depths of winter one - with a wool lining. And of course Babes wouldn’t wear it because it was too itchy, she started arguing with me about it and refused.

Now, I know she has every right to, but what is a way forward on this, I try to encourage her to look after her own things. In the end she went to school in her school fleece and I asked her to look for her coat. I’ll check when we come home, to make sure that she has got it, I do try to be as organised as possible, about various kinds of kit, P.E, cycle gear, martial arts e.t.c ...

Best
w.w.

I know, it’s a nightmare isn’t it… And with coats and winter it isn’t like you can say, ‘well, you didn’t look after it so tough, this is what happens and there’s your lesson’. Which is what I would say - in slightly nicer words and tone of voice if I could manage it - if it was a scarf or a cardi. I think with your DD still so young, it would be hard for her to remember something like a coat all the time. So perhaps the best lesson is, that if she leaves it behind somewhere, the consequence is that she’ll have to wear the itchy coat… You can’t let her go out without if the weather’s not suitable, you’ll try to help her remember it but are only human yourself, and eventually she’ll learn to remember her coat by herself. Most people do, although one of my best friends never did, and she’s 45 now…

Good luck with this! Deep breath and a nice cup of tea with a biscuit I think, because you’re worth it!

Love, SunshineXX

You can’t let her go out without if the weather’s not suitable

Well - you *could* - sorry if that’s a bit non PC - but it almost certainly won’t cause any long term health effects.  I’ve done this in the past and they sure learn quick.

I think a very simple solution is to ask her “what are you going to do about it?” - it’s not your problem if she is cold, she has the power to decide whether to wear hat and gloves, the itchy coat or running around very fast!  I want to allow my kids to learn (as quickly as they can emotionally handle) that they are resourceful creatures who can find answers to their own problems

Diana

We have this issue with school logo cardigans, at £ 10 a time! This year alone it has been lost on two occasions (but found days later at school) and yesterday on the school pick-up another mum came over to me and handed me her cardigan, she has found it tied around the schools netball post! I looked it the classroom and my oldest was crying as she thought she had lost it ...again! All I ask of her is to tie it around her waist if she takes it off and she is not allowed to go to her bag, or if she is allowed to, to put it back in her bag. She’s six. It just does not seem to be sinking in as she is so busy at school, she doesn’t think about keeping her cardigan safe. It drives me mad! I’ve told her if it gets lost, she will need to pay for it herself from her money box. I feel she needs to know the value of her items. I don’t know if this is too harsh or not.

TBH, if one of the boys comes out of school without something important (coat/metal drinks bottle/lunch box etc) either I send them in to find it or we all go in, and speak to the teacher there if necessary, and find it. (not always easy though if you are in a rush, or if someone else is picking up etc etc) When things go missing at school over night the chances of getting it back get smaller I think. I was notorious for losing things as a child, and I still have my moments! and DS1 seems to be similar (usually lunch box/bottles/jumpers/PE t-shirt). I label everything scrupulously and always check we have everything as they come out of school. I was just absent minded I think, it was not on purpose or anything I could help- a teacher made me write out a whole exercise book of work when I lost my exercise book (top of juniors) but that didn’t cure me!