One way or another I’ve found it a bit difficult to connect to this baby - it happened a bit earlier than I expected, we’ve had a lot of stress through the pregnancy, and I have been running around madly after Grace - until recently, some days I forgot I was pregnant altogether!

I wondered whether a blessingway might be a good way to connect and “bond” with the baby before it’s born - just wanted to find out a bit more really. Is it the done thing to do your own, or should you wait and hope that someone does one for me!

What does one actually do? Food? Activities?

Also, is it a “women only” thing? I can’t imagine my husband enjoying it (suspect he would be rolling his eyes!), but if Grace and I are there I wouldn’t want him to feel excluded. Having said that, not sure how comfortable I’d be with other blokes around!

Is it affiliated to a particular religion? I’m happy to get involved in “secular” rituals, but not overly keen on pinching the religious rituals of other faiths….

When is an appropriate time to have one? I’m guessing I’m in the last month now….

Angie

I think most of your questions are answered here

http://www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/blessingway.html

I don’t have first hand experience of one, but it sounds like it would be a lovely thing for you to take part in given the difficulties you have faced during your pregnancy and I’m sure someone else on here will be able to give you a more personal account.  Take Care x

If it is any consolation I think when we have small children to look after a second or subsequent pregnancy isn’t the same as first time around; you simply don’t have the time to focus and channel all of your energy on the pregnancy.  When I was pregnant with my fourth often the only thing that reminded me that I was pregnant was the aches and pains, and the whole process sometimes felt like it was a big inconvenience, a far cry from first time around where every movement, hiccup and stretch mark were noted!

Personally I wouldn’t bother with this unless someone else was doing all of the organizing, it would seem to be to much hassle and a distraction to me, especially in the last month when I usually just want to wind down.  However if you think it might help you then why not?

My husband was invited to mine, as was one other male. I figured the baby belonged to both of us, so why should he be excluded? I only invited positive people, who I knew had a spiritual or hippy bent who would be into a blessingway.

I put all my beads from you lovely ladies onto my birthing necklace (which broke 2 days before Pixie was born! ) and we had a guided meditation done by a Mama friend of mine. x

I’m having a fairly secular Blessingway next week! I’m a naturalistic pagan (or nature loving atheist!) and the women attending range from Catholic to Wiccan, so some of the things we’re doing might be relevant.

My doula is organising mine, because I’m useless at it, but she organised her own and a friend who is due a day before me has organised her own too. I think as it isn’t gift focused in the way a baby shower is it isn’t an issue to do it yourself. All of the Blessingways I’ve been to have been women only because there have been some intense moments that some of the women there feel more comfortable with in a women-only setting.

The plan thus far is that (as not everyone there will know everyone else!) Selina (my doula) will get everyone to introduce themselves and say how they know me, then everyone will add a bead to my necklace and either say a wish/hope for the birth or for Miri in general. That is all of the ‘in a circle’ stuff we’re doing, then we’re going on to general being nice to me, so we’ll have relaxing oil burning, I get massaged and henna-ed and a friend is doing a cast of my bump (I am toooooo excited about this, she is a painter and is painting it for me too!) and then everyone is bringing a dish to share. I am baking lots of cake!

Clare xxx