On the front page of the Metro, the headline reads, “The boy of five living as a girl”.  It says at age 3 he kept saying he was a girl and trying to cut his willy off out of frustration.  She is obviously happier living as a girl than a boy and I totally accept and respect that (I was in a relationship with a f2m transexual for 2.5 years), but I just feel that at that age (well at any age, but more so at that age), it’s society that decides what a girl is and what a boy is, therefore it’s society with the disorder, not the child.  If we were in another culture where boys and girls weren’t expected to act like “boys” and “girls” and could choose to climb trees one day, dress up as mummy the next day, and wear whatever they want, would children even feel they have a gender?  And if having a willy didn’t mean the child wasn’t allowed to do boys things, would they have tried to cut it off? Also the charity they mention says that a lot grow out of it once they hit puberty.
I’ve noticed too that this seems to be more cases of boys choosing to live as girls than the other way round, or at least that’s the way media portrays it.  But is that because girls are accepted as girls (“tomboys”) if they choose to do “boy” things and not wear dresses?  So they maybe don’t feel quite so much a freak in our society.

ETA the article is here http://www.metro.co.uk/news/890910-five-year-old-boy-trapped-in-wrong-gender-living-life-as-a-girl

I think these debates/stories appear once in a while, it’s not really news though, and I think some media can make more of it than is necessary and also play a large part in the whole idea of what society thinks.

I think children should be free to explore everything in life whoever they are, it’s just unfortunate that some things get in the way of that - family, religion, etc. If only more people had the courage to just be and show more acceptance in the world.

That was actually supposed to be another of my questions (kept getting distracted by feeding and pooing baby), ‘should this really be headline news?’

I think it should be news but in another way.  There was a great documentary a while ago on Channel 4.  They were following several children from around 4-16 years old.  They also saw a doctor who is a specialist in this area.  Many children do grow up and choose to be the gender their genetics say they are, but are much more able to cope with this if they have been allowed to explore the other side of themselves.  I found it heart wrenching to hear the mother of a little boy who had found him in the bathroom trying to get up the courage to chop his penis off with the nail scissors!  They were allowing him to be a girl.  As he got to around 8 years old he started asking to wear some boys clothes.  Maybe we should celebrate the parents who let their kids be themselves.

I actually know them, and I think they delt with the situation so fantastically and have just allowed her to be exactly who she wants to be.  Society is so judgemental in general and so quick to label and put people in boxes, it’s quite sad really.  When they first decided to let her be who she is they came under so much pressure from family and outsiders and some of the comments were horrendous.  They have agreeed to do the articles to raise awareness so hopefully other people won’t be so closed minded in future.  Im not sure I could be that brave personally to draw even more attention to the issue.  Ultimately what does it matter what genitals you have as long as you are true to yourself and happy, surely that is the most important thing.

Erimentha - 21 February 2012 05:42 PM

I actually know them, and I think they delt with the situation so fantastically and have just allowed her to be exactly who she wants to be.  Society is so judgemental in general and so quick to label and put people in boxes, it’s quite sad really.  When they first decided to let her be who she is they came under so much pressure from family and outsiders and some of the comments were horrendous.  They have agreeed to do the articles to raise awareness so hopefully other people won’t be so closed minded in future.  Im not sure I could be that brave personally to draw even more attention to the issue.  Ultimately what does it matter what genitals you have as long as you are true to yourself and happy, surely that is the most important thing.

I agree with you totally, I just find it sad that people are closed minded and don’t allow children to be children, they have to be “boys” or “girls”, and I find it sad that families have to go through this just so the child can just be who they want to be.

I do wonder often if society was more open and less judgemental regarding gender, whether there would be a need for sex changes etc.  I wonder if those who go through the change would feel the need if they had been accepted for who they are in the body they have.  And yes I think we should celebrate open minded parents that do not pigeon box their children.

A friend of mine has similar issues with her son - well, it’s not an issue for her, but other people, strangers mostly can be so thoughtless.  The boy is also autistic and bobbles, princess outfits etc are a part of what makes him feel safe and emotionally secure.  We were with her the other week and he lost one of his bobbles and was distraught.  So I crocheted him a flower to wear in his hair, he loved it and harmony was restored… the looks from some of the other parents was saddening though.  He also has got very distressed about his penis and because she was so worried about him trying to chop it off himself, she has talked to him about sex changes and said when he’s older and if he still wants to change she will support him.  This seems to have stemmed the threats that he was going to cut it off…and I have to say, she isn’t placating him either, she will support him, if that is what he wants when he’s older.