This has suddenly become a real possibility in our house after always being something that was never really considered. DS’s school is pretty good, so far as I can tell, small, friendly, lovely outdoor space and opportunities to do lots of creative things. However, we have been having a few concerns over the last year about whether it really is the right place for him, as although he’s happy being with his friends, he really doesn’t love or get excited about any other things at school. I know that is not unusual, but it has been bothering me more and more as I see his enthusiasm for things ebbing away.
Because of this we went to look at a local Steiner school last year, which I was really exited about, but it actually really didn’t feel like the right place for him. Now, recently we have come to the conclusion that we will probably never be able to have all the other children we hoped for and that if we only have one education to pay for, we could possibly stretch to a private one. There is a what looks to be a lovely school just down the road from us and we have just had some information through, including a promotional dvd, which DS asked to watch and amazingly got really excited about! He’s read through all of the prospectus and keeps asking if we can go and look around. I have to say that this is not at all the reaction I was expecting and I’m pleased, but feeling quite torn about it too. I really believe there is so much in him that he is not able to realise where his is currently and I don’t feel confident in myself to homeschool him, so could this be the answer? Anyway, I would love to hear your views and if any of you do send your kids to a non-Steiner fee paying school or went to one yourself and what you think/thought of it.
My husband went to private school and hated it but my cousin went and absolutely loved it (his mum worked there and his local secondary school was really bad). I think it depends on the child and the school, if you can afford it why not go for a visit and get a real feel for the place x
Hi. I personally would not like a school that pushed the children to point of terror regarding examinations. For this reason we use steiner. Not all independents focus totally on academic results, there are some wonderful subjects offered that are not really available in state schools.
Id say it’s going to be hard to say no once you have looked around, indie schools are usually very impressive and the children seem younger in a nice way. My daughter is thriving since leaving her state primary, but in a class of ten it would be hard not too.
Unfortunatly it seems you get what you pay for. However if mine were high flyers, top of class good allrounders then I think they would have been fine at state school. More free schools and choice would be nice, but I’m happy that we get very good value for money, and it would be the last thing to go here.
Yes, our son will be going to a private school. He is attending their nursery just now which is half funded and they also have a forrest nursery attached too. The school itself is wonderful-think hogworts! And the head of juniour school is really up on her attachment theory which is always a bonus. For us we wanted a fully rounded education and their music, arts and drama departments are really good, and its not academically pushy which is a big no no for me.
I was privately educated myself, and I have mixed views. It really depends on the individual school, and you certainly can’t group all independent schools together. I attended an all girls school at primary level, and 2 mixed secondary schools. Primary was lovely, probably just the same as any good state primary. The first secondary school was, for me, the most wonderful place and I spent the happiest years of my childhood there. So many opportunities, wide ranging curriculum and extra-curricular activities. I loved it, and I feel that I developed in a really positive way. We moved house, and I looked forward to starting my new school but the new private school was extremely results-focused , with teachers that didn’t care much for the children. Even though I was quite academic at that point, it didn’t suit me. They essentially spoon-fed us, always thinking about exams and ox-bridge. It was a very well regarded school, high on national league tables, yet I didn’t think it was worth the investment because it didn’t help my personal growth. Perhaps it just wasn’t for me. So that’s my experience - look carefully at the individual school. xxx
If we do send our children to school, I think that Steiner/Waldorf would be the only way that we could go. We are fortunate enough to have two near to us (about 40/50 minutes away, in different directions) so have looked into both. One has just become a ‘free school’ and the other is fee paying (private). At the moment, there seems to be less risk with the fee-paying school, as we know what we are getting, such as not adhering to the national curriculum, no GCSEs etc. The free-school may have a few hoops to go through under the government scheme, which may put us off.
Anyway, what I think I am saying, is that we will try to provide the best education that we can. As far as we can see, this will not involve a state school, at least for primary years (I can’t think any further ahead). Also, most private schools would be worse in many ways - more pressure on the child to perform, more emphasis on exams etc. So it’s really HE vs. Steiner, and cost doesn’t come into it - we will just find a way! I think the cost of HE is probably quite high anyway, at least the way that we would like to do it.
My daughter was Steiner educated for a few years and then, whilst we lived in Warwickshire, was fortunate to go to a very small local school until she was 10. After that it was apparent that she simply couldn’t cope with larger class situations and being bullied because she was a bit of a geek for actually WANTING to learn (!)
When we moved to Devon we had the choice of two not very good schools locally, or going private. We visited the most local private school and she fell in love with the place. We put her forward for scholarship and fortunately she won a music scholarship until she is 16 which dramatically reduces the fees.
We have had to make huge sacrifices to do this though - we have not been away on holiday for 5 years, and rent a house as we cannot do mortgage and remaining school fees at the same time on our salaries.
We know it was the right decision though - she loves the school and is so happy there. But it’s a case of what is best for the child concerned and what you are able to afford.
If you were thinking of private I would definitely find out about bursaries and scholarships - some schools offer enormous discounts making something possible that you would otherwise have overlooked due to potential cost. There are also charities who offer help with fees in special cases - you could find out about those too.
THank you for so much for your responses. They have been really helpful. We have never been in a position to pay for education before and initially felt happy with our local primary. I’ve seen plenty of pretty well off families at his school that don’t send their kids to fee paying schools, so I thought we might be being reckless, since it would still be a squeeze. It’s interesting that several of you say that you would find a way of paying for the right education for your child and I think this is what DH and I are thinking at the moment, that DS being in the best place for him is more important than moving out of our tiny house, which is what we always thought we would do if we managed to earn more money.
I’ve always felt very strongly that I don’t want DS put under lots of pressure to pass exams, but talking to parents of kids at local state secondary schools, their educations seems completely centred around passing exams rather than learning for pleasure and they come home every night with piles of homework. Interestingly though, in all the literature about this independent school they emphasise that their main focus is on the children’s happiness, plus their non-academic subjects seem to play a big role. Anyway, they have an open day soon, so we will book to go along. I know you can only get so much from reading about a place, as in the past I have felt somewhere would be right only to find when we were there that it didn’t fit DS at all, so we’ll see what this place is like and what DS actually thinks about it when he is there too. Still plenty to think about.
I work at a private school and actually looked round the nursery of another today for our twins - it was lovely but the fees were twice the amount of other playgroups in the area, they only took the early years vouchers if you went in the afternoon and it would have cost us £600 in deposits and registration fees just to get the kids in - for this reason and the fact we couldn’t afford long term private school education for them (and probably wouldn’t, even if we could) and they would end up at the local primary i have reluctantly ruled the nursery out (which is a shame as there is lovely woodland all around it which the kids get to play in every day)
Anyway, from a private school teachers perspective - i find at our school the parents probably don’t get an honest assesment of their kids abilities from the teacher - if little Jonny is a complete toe rag and you write that in their report then many parents will consider whipping the child out and its all about the money sadly, so for this reason, reports are dumbed down and its the pushier parents whose kids get the head girl and head boy jobs for example rather then the children more suitable sometimes (perhaps not at the bigger schools - but i have seen this happen at smaller private schools where every childs fee counts) I don’t want to generalise but i wouldn’t always trust everything you are told about your child at private schools. State schools can be more honest - they don’t have as much riding on whether your child stays or goes.
The main pro of private school is obviously the small class sizes but i don’t think personally the teaching is necessarily any better then state school, for me unless i lived in an area where all the state schools had dire ofsted reports i wouldn’t send my children to private school - even if i had the money - if my child was unhappy or not fulfilled i would look for another primary school before resorting to private. Fees are expensive and you could do a heck of a lot with the money you save on fees, whether that be taking your child to visit different countries, paying for extra tuition or sports or music lessons out of school.
THank you for so much for your responses. They have been really helpful. We have never been in a position to pay for education before and initially felt happy with our local primary. I’ve seen plenty of pretty well off families at his school that don’t send their kids to fee paying schools, so I thought we might be being reckless, since it would still be a squeeze. It’s interesting that several of you say that you would find a way of paying for the right education for your child and I think this is what DH and I are thinking at the moment, that DS being in the best place for him is more important than moving out of our tiny house, which is what we always thought we would do if we managed to earn more money.
I’ve always felt very strongly that I don’t want DS put under lots of pressure to pass exams, but talking to parents of kids at local state secondary schools, their educations seems completely centred around passing exams rather than learning for pleasure and they come home every night with piles of homework. Interestingly though, in all the literature about this independent school they emphasise that their main focus is on the children’s happiness, plus their non-academic subjects seem to play a big role. Anyway, they have an open day soon, so we will book to go along. I know you can only get so much from reading about a place, as in the past I have felt somewhere would be right only to find when we were there that it didn’t fit DS at all, so we’ll see what this place is like and what DS actually thinks about it when he is there too. Still plenty to think about.
If it is for you he should be able to go on at least 1 - if not more, taster days, that will be the best way of knowing though, sometimes the novelty of the new place and everyone being interested in the new kid can distort their thought on it a bit!
I agree - all private schools, like state ones, are very different, some better than state primaries, some not as good. However, having said that and having taught in both private and state schools, we wanted to send our son to private school. But we would like another child and the cost for 2 children at private school 5-18 in this part of the country amounts to £400,000 before all the expensive extras (expensive uniform, several terms of expensive violin/clarinet/euphonium lessons, the skiing trip / safari costing several hundred pounds that pops up at least once a year that all their mates are going on - my parents currently have this issue with my half sister who attends a private school - the other kids’ parents are really well off, the parents who are busting a gut to send their kids there just can’t afford all the extras their peers are getting) plus if your child has special needs this is likely to cost you to pay for additional support / seeing the ed psych whereas SEN at state schools is free if you need it (perhaps this is not all schools but it is the case in the large high achieving private secondary my dad teaches at)
So make sure you are really aware of the cost - it may be a really tough choice to have to send an 11 year old accustomed to classes of 10 into your local state secondary with classes of 30-35+ if you realise you can’t commit to the secondary fees.
Also, my dad has many years of teaching experience (private, state, selective) and says that unless it’s a dreadful primary, there is no distinguishable difference between the kids he sees coming up to his private secondary school from state and independent primaries. He has advised us to save our cash now so we can pay for independent secondary education which I would have to agree is sadly more important (not just exams - having a tough time at secondary school for whatever reason will have a far bigger negative impact on your child’s esteem and long term happiness than not really liking primary school).
It is true about money motivating private schools but in a good private school I believe you will still get a better service, even if they are a bit more polite about your misbehaving little darling.
But if we could afford it, they’d be in private all the way! Just make sure you think about the consequences if you can’t afford the secondary costs. There really is more expense than just fees.
My daughter is at a private school. She is 11. Before moving to her current school she was at 2 different state primaries. We are both really happy with the private school she is at now and she will stay there for another 2 1/2 years as the school goes up to year 8. My Mum and her partner pay the fees but have told me they cant continue to secondary school so I am currenly looking at bursaries, there seems to be a few around. I would say ther main advantages for me have been small class sizes, separate subject teaching, everyone (adults and children) sitting down and eating cooked lunch together at the same time (may seem an odd one but lunchtimes were a nightmare at dds last school), the longer playtimes with freedom to roam over the 30 acres including the woods etc without having to be constantly in view of an adult and without health and saftely rules so able to play with sticks, go into the library etc. The biggest plus for me, but also the most different so hardest to get used to, is the way school becomes the main part of life really. Im not particularly involved and I dont feel I have to be as I did at the previous school. I felt at the last schools I really had to quiz dd on what she had been up to in lessons and at breaktimes to keep an eye on any problems as I felt things could go unnoticed. Current school is such a lovley small school with lots of staff living on site (there is the option of boarding) so it is really like a big family and I trust that dd will be looked after, not just kept safe and taught well, but nurtured in all ways. I have mental health problems and struggle with quite a lot of things, for me I feel that the school is really alongside me and supporting dd a she grows up and providing things like routine and stability that I really struggle to provide at home. Dd can do a vast range of activites after the normal school day which is better for us than coming home earlier and then having to get to other activites and places and fit in supper after school. All homework is done at school and we have much longer holidays where there is time to really have a break. The days are really long but dd seems to thrive on that. Normal day is 8-6pm but dd has chosen to stay for supper and do evening activites until 8pm 3 nights a week this term. Last year dd boarded one night a week and loved it, but has not wanted to since, but is thinking of having another go for one night a week next term. The outdoor pool at school is a popular evening activity in the summer term. I am considering a secondary boarding school for dd. There are quite a lot of extras, uniform is stupidly expensive, but lots of private schools have a secondhand unifrorm shop. Music lessons are extra and obviously boarding, although clubs, sports, trips are included. I do feel a bit like the odd one out, especially as I would never be able to afford the fees myself, but dd doesnt seem to notice, they are all involved in school and dont talk about their belongings, holidays, ponies, hot tubs (!) etc much. Hope you find a solution you are happy with. If there are other questions I might be able to help with please ask. x
Our DS’ lovely little private school follows a Steiner curriculum, and upholds many Steiner ideals, although is not a Steiner school as such. He is extremely happy there and we love it too. I really didn’t want him in a class of 30, or to be under pressure to read a certain number of books by a certain stage/age, do maths homework etc at the young age that state school children seem to have to do homework these days.
There are 6 children in his class (aged 6 and 7). They spend one morning a week walking in the countryside, they do handwork, French and loads of art. It is just wonderful.
I definitely recommend having a look at all your local schools, both private and state - you may be pleasantly surprised. Go with how you and your child feel on a gut level.
I think its just a moral question for me, really. I don’t want to pay to have my child educated separately to their peers. I don’t feel comfortable with the message it sends my child.
I accept that I both home educate and send my children to a (local) private early years centre up to age 7, so certainly as far as a lot of people are concerned I am privately educating. Feels different to me because my kids are by no means spending their days with only other kids whose parents can afford high fees. We all have to work out where we stand. I can’t imagine I would privately educate post 7 though, it would just be too far at odds with the values I try to give my kids.
I wouldn’t have any qualms about sending mine private if i thought that they would be getting something that state school couldn’t provide. I don’t think private schooling is about the *elite* anymore, I know quite a few very normal families that have gone down that route, and have made big sacrifices to do so. I think it only sends the wrong message to the children when the parents make it an issue.
Whilst there are many good state schools, there are probably an equal number which are not so good. That’s not to say that all private schools are good though!
