Or would other home edders be concerned about taking their child to a HE group where one of the boys exhibits inappropriate “sexual” behaviour?  He’s cornered Benedict a few times and understandably my lad feels unhappy about being around this boy.  I cannot approach his parents and this is the main reason we stopped attending one of our “local” groups.

There is another small band of folks meeting within the same catchment of the other family and I do not know whether to chance attending or not bother at all.  We also had a surprise meet with another local HE family when we visited the science museum at Manchester, we exchanged telephone numbers and I rang her a day later to arrange a meet up… she now says that her daughters could not cope with us visiting and would we like to meet at one of the group sessions where this boy attends.

I’m beginning to think that I’ve grown three heads since starting this home ed journey because for sure we do not seem to fit in anywhere within our home town!  There are quite a few of us locally but no-one wants to meet on a regular basis for crafts, games and dare I say it a bit of learning too.  Is this attitude normal within the home ed community?

Thanks for reading my ramblings

San

I wouldn’t go if there was a single moment the children were out of my direct sight, and I would suggest to the lady you are in email contact with that you could meet her at a park or play area outside of the group.  Actually, I would probably go to the parents…  Is there a reason you can’t approach them, or is it just the prospect of talking about their child’s behaviour?  I would strongly consider writing to social services with specific details of what this little boy has done, since it might be a sign that he has been exposed to something wildly inappropriate.  :(

Mama, you’re not the only one who finds home ed groups a trial!  We have connected with three families recently outside of groups, and I don’t think I realised how isolated I was starting to feel until we *had* those regular contacts.  The groups around here are very political and cliquey, and much much older kids who seem to have no social guidance from parents (the parents see outright bullying and laugh about it).  *sigh*

Ack I wish (not for the first time) that we lived round the corner.  :(

(hugs)

Thanks Sarah.

It was nothing totally dire the boy was exposing himself and trying to get B to do likewise.  I’m not daft I know boys can have toilet humour but this seemed more sinister since he targeted Benedict whilst he was trying to get to the loos at the time.  I’m not aware of him hassling any of the other kids.  I feel to uncomfortable talking to the parents and to be honest this behaviour was the last straw, the group at first contact seemed welcoming but there seems to various undercurrents and it became too difficult to attend.

Deep down I know we are in the wrong place but moving is totally out of the question… the whole stress plus the fact that Dave is way to sick to work would finish him off completely.  We are hoping to attend Forest School in Bolton tomorrow, Lesley A from here organises it so it will be nice to meet another GP member.  I just wish we had a small group of friends local to us.

And yes it’s not the first time I haven’t wished that we lived round the corner from you!

San xx

Oh San, I wish we lived nearer each other!  I haven’t got time to reply as I’d like now, I’ll PM you later xx

Hugs lovely lady
Julia xxx

Hey San you’ll meet Sparky too - she goes to forest school as well!
How old is the boy in question?
Yes, ask Becks who comes on here what it was like when we first started to go to home ed soft play - everyone ignored us and it felt very cliquey.  Now a year or two on, I know most of those people who seemed to ignore us and I think they prob didn’t even know we were home edders.  It has taken quite a long time and I know how it can feel.  When we see you tomorrow we can have a natter about what kinds of things are going on round here if you can make it to groups down this end.
See you then!

Yep, my DS will be at forest school but I will prob be driving around trying to get DD to sleep!  How old is the little boy?  Is there someone sort of in charge of the group, could you speak to them, perhaps not in a “this boy did this” kind of way but more to try and find out a bit more about him as if he has done it to Benedict its likely he has done it to others as well, or that other parents have noticed.  Is that the only reason you have left that group, if it is you don’t have much to lose by mentioning it, and maybe it could be sorted and you could go back to attending

The boy is a few months older than Benedict, so he’ll be nine years now.  We haven’t been to the group since last summer as I could not figure a way of tackling this problem since we were fairly new at the time.  I think if I mentioned it I’d be likely to open up a hornets nest.  I’m just frustrated that this boy and his family attend both Cumbria and Lancaster HE meetings so we have nowhere safe for Benedict to play, that is why I’ve suggested meeting outside group venues and folks don’t want to do this, or suggestions are made to go fell walking and this is totally outside our remit - DH and myself battle daily with chronic health problems and disability.

Looking forward to meeting you both at Forest School tomorrow.

Awww pity you can’t come to my home ed group.  We’ve had a fabulous day today, began at the Youth centre we hire monthly, kids were suppose to be decorating plant pots, but the did their own thing with the craft materials, making beautiful pictures/sculptures etc..a nd then we enjoyed a lovely pot luck lunch, that was really, really yummy (and healthy!).

Afterwards, a few of the families went to the Coastal Park.  Fabulous time, I didn’t actually get home until after 7pm!  We even saw fire jugglers on the beach!

But yes, it does seem some home ed groups can be terribly political, or just cliquey.  I’m oblivious to it.  Recently there’s being murmurings of poaching or stepping on toes because other groups do similar things… pathetic… and I’ve been rather loud and vocal that it’s pathetic.  Kent is a huge county just because there is.. for example, a teen group in Tunbridge Wells does not mean we can’t also have a teen group down in East Kent!!  And actually, I have had some families refuse to join in some crafts I’ve organised because I’m openly pagan, and they think what I’m doing is “pagan”; I can’t help but be scathing, and point out that just because a craft is nature based does not mean it’s pagan.  Cue much rolling of eyes.  lol.

On the whole though, my group is lovely and the main families that attend have become good friends too and Rye and I spend quite a bit of time with them.  So I feel very blessed.

And hey I’ve organise a home ed camp, come!  I know most of the families coming and they are all lovely, and most of us do have a philosophy of children running free and being laid back.
Apart from booking an activity trail for 2hours, the idea is to have a fun few days together and make our own entertainment…. oh and we are camping on the cliffs overlooking the English Channel…..

And as an organiser of a group, if a parent came to me with concerns about a child, I’d keep an eye on things and if I saw concerning behaviour myself I would intervene by chatting with the parents, or I’d simply remind folks of the group etiquette and keeping an eye on the kids etc… so maybe it’s worth mentioning it to whomever organises the group?

No, I don’t think I would want to attend either, or if I did like Sarah I would be watching like a hawk.  I would hate that as I like to give my children freedom to play away from my sight if they are comfortable with that (and I know where they are).

I have found being part of a home ed group really hard work.  I guess we all want different things from a group which makes it hard to be part of it if, what they are doing, is not what you or the children want to do.  Most of our get together’s are at someone’s house now for play.  Admittedly I met these people through two groups that I occasionally attend. 

San I think we have met about a year ago?  My children are both a little bit younger than yours (ds 7 and dd nearly 3).  If you want to meet up for outside play I am up for that.  I am intrigued as to who you are talking about, but I think I can guess.  I will PM you.

sustainablemum I’ve pm’d you!

I would really urge you to mention this boy’s behaviour to the person who runs this group. I know it’s hard, but for this reason: I run a group and I had a to exclude a boy due to inappropriate sexual behaviour (he was 11 at the time). When this came out at the group, I had at least 5 other parents come to me saying that their children had also had problems with this boy. If any one of them had come to me and told me this before then I couolld have saved all the children the problems that they had been experiencing. We also had several families who had left the group come back to it once this boy was excluded. Again, they hadn’t told me the problem so there was nothing I could do about it. They all said they didn’t want to ‘rock the boat’ or didn’t think they’d be believed, but this wasn’t true at all. It was a serious issue and I would have addressed it had I known there was a problem. It could well be that this would be the case in your group too?

Thanks Liz.  I will have a think about your points raised, it seems a bit difficult now though since we haven’t attended in over a year but I’ll see what I can do.

San x