It was Neddie’s 2nd birthday yesterday.  To prevent him getting overwhelmed and because Sam doesn’t get home till 5.30, he didn’t open all his presents.  The presents have been in the lounge for a week, since his party.

I came down just now to discover that Kendra, who is 3 1/2 has opened them all.  And from experience, she’s done it.  She hasn’t helped him.  So the lounge is awash with wrapping paper and presents out of boxes and I don’t know where he got what from and who to thank. 

Mostly I’m mad cos presents are important to me and I really wanted to see him open them and light up with each one.

I really don’t know what to do with her. The presents have been there all week.  She said she did it because she wanted to.  I said so many times yesterday that we do presents all together.  She knows we do presents all together.  She knew last night before bed that we do some more today when we were all up.

How do you deal with a 3 year old who does what she wants?

always put presents out of reach!  The first year I dared put presents under the christmas tree for any length of time was when DD2 was 4.  Accept it as your mistake!  Sorry if that is harsh, just can’t see how a three year old can be held responsible for that, opening presents is such a lovely thing, like chocolate, you can’t put it in front of them, within reach and expect them not to touch!

Ok, I know its hard when its your oldest (I assume), they always seem MUCH bigger. But 3 1/2 isn’t really big enough for the kind of impulse control needed to not open a lot of presents. Some kids are great at APPEARING to understand or cueing in to adult expectations, but tbh, they can’t control or rememeber not to do stuff that well on the spur of the moment and double for something unusual like a present (not like not hitting which in my house we had to say every day for years).

So “How do you deal with a 3 year old who does what she wants?” congratulate yourself on having summed up 3 yo’s in a nutshell. Seriously, this is what 3 yo’s are like. They are not kind, generous, sharing. They see something and they want it and mostly, if they can, they will take it or do it.

Oh and I’d just tell everyone exactly what happened. Its not uncommon for kids to get to the presents before the parents, I don’t think anyone with kids at least is going to bat an eyelid.

Yeah, Im afraid I concur.  3yrs old just do not have impulse control, and what she means when she says she “wanted to” is she couldn’t help herself.  That she’s not opened them before now is an utter miracle.

Joxy.

I would be FURIOUS!!! And hurt and disappointed and upset - all those things that you are right now. But, thinking about it logically and dispassionately, I don’t know of many three year olds who would have the impulse control to not open lovely presents when they were in reach. Grace loves to open Jude’s presents.

Is there something you can do to help you calm down - give yourself a bit of a treat, and then try and move on I’m afraid :( . I’m almost certain it wasn’t done maliciously, even if it really feels like it at the moment :(

Angie

Oh dear, I have grown people in this home who would find it hard enough to see a pile of presents each day and not touch them, never mind a 3 year old little one! Fortunately big people understand and have (some) impulse control, which won’t be evident in a tiny of your DD’s age. I can’t count how many times we have had to remind siblings that presents were to be opened by the person who’s name is on the label. Besy way for us - remove the temptation.
I mean how hard is it to ignore that last piece of cake/chunk of chocolate/bargain in the sale when short on cash? C’mon, I bet we’ve all done it even as adults, knowing we shouldn’t?
I really feel your anger but I’m smiling a little too, your girl must have had a great time finally seing what was inside those parcels, and at 3 she probably does have a smidgeon of guilt, whilst not actually recognising that funny feeling in her heart right now.
From a mama who’s been there (several times, talk about not learning a lesson!!) and knows you’ll be smiling about this in a couple of weeks/months, and definitely re-telling the story when you’re a Grandma to her little toddlers

B xx

Be mad at the situation, then give your DD a hug and let it all flow away.  Like Mamame says, this is a story to be giggling over with your grandchildren. 

This is why my DH hates presents… sometimes children and presents don’t mix well!

It was defiantly the disappointment of not seeing him open them.  And after her having ignored them all week, it made it worse.  Like a betrayal.  I do normally leave them out of site, but she had shown virtually no interest in them, so I felt that this time they were safe. 

Fortunately one of the presents was totally inappropriate but worth a fair bit.  So I took it back to John Lewis with Kendra and we choose some new Brio for Ned.  That was fun. Even went into town on the train which is one of our fav things to do.

I guess from Kendra’s point of view she did the right thing really. She didn’t open them all week because they were for his birthday, but then his birthday came along and they were still sitting there all wrapped up. To a 3 year old I reckon that makes it opening time? After all at that age your words can be quite literal can’t they?
Knew you wouldn’t stay mad for too long Good to hear you ended up with a positive spin on this when some parents would have gone into total punishment mode.
Enjoy playing with the Brio together

B xx