Does anyone else have this? Grace wants to “help” Jude with everything - whenever she stretches to get something, grace passes it to her, if she’s sitting up, Grace holds her back so she doesn’t topple over etc, etc. It’s really sweet, but I’m just worried that Jude will never get the opportunity to figure stuff out for herself. We were very “hands-off” with Grace, and she has an amazing sense of her own body and it’s capabilities - I’d really like Jude to have the same experience, but I don’t want to be constantly telling Grace *not* to help - we have always said that we help each other in our house - I just need to find a way of helping her understand when help is required!

Angie

I think the experience of subsequent children will always be different to that of an only child.  Not necessarily different in a bad way though.  Yes, there will be the “helping” but they learn to find their own way of doing things despite an older siblings help.  But they also have more entertainment going on around them, always have a playmate to hand, and benefit from their parents experience of raising previous children.  Unless Grace is causing distress or harm, I would leave her be.  I can remember Ds1 kept taking DS2’s dummy out declaring that he didn’t need it, and 9times out of ten he was right, which meant DS1 did me the great favour of weaning Ds2 from his dummy, which was a job I would have probably overlooked until he was a bit older.

DS was like this with DD when she was smaller, but now she’s nearly 2, she certainly makes it known if she wants to do something herself and DS understands no problem! I agree with Aisling that they have a different experience from the first child, but it’s all good never the less!

Dd1 and 2 are both like this with dd3 (1 & 2 were too close in age to do it to each other at baby stage but they do now). I let them help, as dd3 let’s it be known when she doesnt want help (at 12months) and as the others said, they all have a different experience to the first child. I like to think of it that dd1 only had us to learn from and yes we let her find her own way, but we were there supporting her. Dd2 & 3 are lucky enough to have their sisters there to help and support them as well as us, and even with help they have still all found their own way of doing things

I think it is gorgeous, I have come to realise over the two years that Saule has been here as much as we would like them to have an equal start in life it is never going to happen lol, Alice is alot more cautious than us and ‘helps’ her brother do alot and tells us when he shouldn’t be doing something!  But as much as it really did feel like she was holding him back at first I have come to realise that Saule will learn more than we could ever teach him of his sister and every little bit of ‘help’ does help to strengthen the sibling bond and I wouldn’t have it any other way

Enjoy seeing them grow together!
sarie

I think it very much depends on Jude’s reaction. I found DS and my stepdaughters can be very liable to interfere with DD2 such as pick her up for a cuddle when she’s happy playing, or hold her back from something she wants if they think it’s dangerous. I know they are trying to help but I have been quite insistent that they let her have things unless she can damage it or it can damage her, and also that they remember she is a little person and not a toy for them to arrange as they like! This was mainly because it was upsetting the baby and she gets cross. As she’s 10 months now it’s easier to point out ‘look, she doeasn’t like that so please don’t do it’.