Hi, I have decided to start using some of the tips in Elizabeth Pantley’s ‘no cry sleep solution’ and wondering if anyone has had any success with it and if so, which hints helped the most - and were they for bed to their own bed transitions or just for less interrupted sleep in the family bed?
I am hoping to help my son (12 and a half months) sleep longer stretches without needing to comfort suckle several times a night. He is not really drinking in the night, it is just for comfort and he very quickly falls back asleep so I am wanting to help him get himself back to sleep on his own eventually so I can sleep more than a couple hours in a row, and so that he will be better rested as I don’t think he is sleeping enough at night (and I’m definitely not!). After a year I think we are ready! I thought he was sleeping better than he was, as I am usually half asleep and by morning just have a few vague recollections of settling him back down and nursing him a bit in the night. However it gets you to do a sleep log and I was quite shocked at what actually happens when I stay awake to write down the times! No wonder I am so tired. The sleep log on the first night I kept it looks like this: He fell asleep at 20.10.
Woke up at:
21.58
22.46
23.09
01.33 (and stayed awake until 02.12!)
05.00
06.00
06.15 up for the day.

I am still reading the chapter to formulate my ‘plan’, but have started a more structured bedtime routine with a wind-down hour before an earlier bedtime, and am wondering whether to go for getting him to remain in the family bed and just sleep for longer periods and not requiring the breast to get back to sleep, or whether we are in fact not helping him to stay asleep by all being squished in together, and whether he might sleep better in his own space. So wondering whether to aim for him to sleep in his own space, a small mattress by the side of us to a metre away against the wall. (or even getting a low toddler bed with a bedrail that I can join him in at first when he wakes in the night). What do you think? We have now put the cot away which he has never used!

First of all hugs to you!  I bought the book but it was impossible for me to implement the plan due to other mitigating circumstances.  In the end the night waking for a nurse did settle on its own as by then Pip was nearing two years of age.  I think the mattress idea might be more comfortable for you so that if he does need you to be physically present at bedtime/in the night you will at least have somewhere comfortable to rest.

It does get easier!

San x

Wow, you must be tired.  We have pretty much come out of the other end of night waking with DD who will be 3 in November.  I used ideas from Dr Gordan (I think that was his name) when she was 2 and a bit but I remember reading the no-cry book when my DS was little.  It worked ok with him but we took it super slow and he was quite a bit older than your LO.  I just did the pulling off the boob just before sleep so he would start to fal asleep on his won.  With DD she fell asleep on her own anyway so we just worked with decreasing night feeds gently after she was 2.  What I found worked with us though was gently trying things, you can soon see if your LO is ready or not after a night or two of gentle persuasion.  With DD when we decided to cut her night feeds down she literally moaned a bit the first night, a whimper the second night then fine after that so i knew she was ready.  If she had been really upset I would have postponed for a few months.  You may be surprised by your DS but equally he may be a bit young and you may decide unless you really feel you *need* to do battle, to just carry on a bit longer with all the feeds.

Good luck, a good nights sleep is so important to how we feel during the day x

Yes, won’t be doing anything drastic or rushed, hoping for a gentle transition and if it doesn’t work at all, will take it even slower or postpone. Feel that he is overtired, and that I need to sort something out for both our sakes.
It definitely won’t be turning into a battle, I think it would help him to let him realise he doesn’t need my boob in the night to fall asleep and that I can be present with him in other ways during the night.
In both your experiences, the night waking stops on its own? I am feeling like I need to help him see he can sleep other ways, as every time he gets into a light cycle of sleep, he is just waking briefly and needs me to go back into sleep and it’s becoming disruptive for both of us and I am shattered!

I’m not sure totally on its own in my case, it definitely reduced as my LOs did more and ate more in the day and turned from babies to children, if that makes sense.  But also as we got more tired and began to realise that little changes would improve our night and daytimes and, say DH would settle the LO a bit more and me a bit less, that sort of thing.  We found with both of ours though that between 2 and 3 we had night waking again but from what seem to be bad dreams as they haven’t wanted milk but woken up suddenly very upset crying and getting more upset when they were cuddled etc.