By Lucy Corkhill
27th February 2013
Gratitude helps us live in the moment: to stop and witness the flower our child is pointing out – to smell, see, feel and appreciate it in a way we wouldn’t have done had we rushed past it thinking of what we had to get done that day.
Huge health benefits
Author and researcher Dr. Robert Emmons backs this intuitive knowledge up in his bestselling book Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier. His eight years of research at the University of California found that folks who cultivate an “attitude of gratitude” experience multiple advantages, including improved emotional and physical health, stronger communities and better relationships. “Without gratitude, life can be lonely, depressing and impoverished,” Emmons states. “Gratitude enriches human life. It elevates, energizes, inspires and transforms. People are moved, opened and humbled through expressions of gratitude.”
Time for a change
Emmons suggests several strategies for cultivating an attitude of gratitude, including keeping a gratitude journal, prayers of gratitude and using visual reminders. The gratitude journal resonated with me because it’s something I have used before. I am a natural worrier and am incredibly accomplished at waking in the early hours and fretting about the current stuff on my plate. After one such early morning, I decided to rediscover the sources of joy in my life, and remembered a time early in my marriage when my husband and I had kept a daily gratitude journal. Each night, we’d write three things we’d loved and appreciated about each other that day, fold it over and pass it to the other to add theirs. I sought out the journal recently and was moved by the words we wrote to one another and the way we took the time to value each other. I decided to forgive myself for getting into a loop of nagging and negativity, and to make an active commitment to get back into the swing of seeing the goodness and beauty in life. Life is, after all, a constant state of flux and movement, and sometimes we need to get stuck in a rut to discover (or re-discover) the tools to dig us out.
A gift to those we love
Gratitude journals can take many forms. It might be a book you share as a family, recording fun activities and special moments. It might be a big poster you have up in your kitchen of all the things you appreciate about one another, that you can keep adding to. Perhaps it is a nature diary, noting magical things you encountered that day, like a ladybird hidden under a leaf, or a flock of birds flying in formation. It might be something you dip into weekly or monthly as a way of reconnecting with the beauty in your life. I found that the most powerful tool for me was to take stock each evening, and write three things that lifted my spirits, brought me joy, or moved me. (I chose three things because I knew I could manage that every day, but to be honest sometimes we all want to write three hundred!) At the moment it is a ‘private’ journal in the sense I write in it alone, but it is something I am looking forward to sharing with my son when he is older, as a lot of the entries are about him. I also found that there is nothing quite like reading three things that your partner noticed about you that day, things that you might have forgotten or not even been conscious of: everyone thrives on feeling loved, valued and seen, and this is a gift we can give to those we love each and every day.
Random acts of kindness
I recently caught part of a radio interview with a South London girl who was inspired after the London riots to perform a ‘random act of kindness’ every day for a year, as a kind of antithesis to all the negativity floating around at the time. These acts were rich and varied, some big, some small. They included handing out homemade cards at a busy station, carrying someone’s shopping, sending a card to a friend of a friend who was feeling low, leaving a fiver on the bus, giving money to the young lad (in a hoodie) in front of her in the queue at the Post Office to pay for his driving license when he couldn’t afford it. The interviewer asked her how many times she had had her acts refused or thrown back in her face. I can’t remember the exact number but I think she said about three times in 365 days. The girl pointed out that it is often the bad stuff we remember, such as someone being rude to us; and we forget to notice how many times people smile at us, chat with us, or hold the door for us.
Keeping a gratitude journal is a good way to remember these simple acts of kindness that promote a sense of community. It gives us time to reflect on just how much love and goodness there is in the world, and serves as a healthy reality check to what we’re spoon fed by the media. If we actively set the intention to see the good in others, it’s there in abundance. When we step in to that kind of attitude, it flows back to us in beautiful and life-enhancing ways. Believe in people, and they will believe in you.
Go on, treat yourself today to a special book or big piece of card and art materials and see what an attitude of gratitude can do for you! Here’s my three for today:
The sunlight moving on the sea like diamonds on pale blue silk
My husband, son and I falling into totally infectious giggles because the dog is running in circles
A surprise visit from a German lady (who I met completely by chance a year ago) with a hand-sewn rabbit toy for my son.
What are yours?
Books worth reading:
Daily Greatness Journal A Practical Guide For Consciously Creating Your Days by Lyndelle Palmer Clarke
Gratitude: A Way of Life by Louise Hay
My First Gratitude Journal: A Write-in, Draw-in Daily Gratitude Journal for Kids by Vivian Tenorio
