By The Green Parent
02nd October 2020
There are many things that are challenging about welcoming a new baby into the family, and at the heart of that challenge is how to meet everyone’s needs. The baby is possibly the easiest to satisfy in this respect – all they really want is closeness and calm, with milk and sleep at regular intervals. However that is not always compatible with the needs of older siblings and their thirst for action and adventure.
At no time is this more keenly felt than in the summer holidays: in the colder, darker months it is easier to give in to everyone’s urge to hibernate, and the rhythms and routines of term time give some respite to the need to provide constant entertainment. Summer, though, is a time for spontaneous exploring: for long walks in the countryside or by the sea, for making the most of mild weather and lighter evenings. It is also a time when I am very, very grateful to be a babywearing mama. My eldest son’s love for the outdoors was undoubtedly fuelled by the many hours I spent carrying him in the sling as a baby. When he became a toddler I would regularly find him pointing at the front door saying ‘out’ repeatedly until I took him for a walk, and as he got older we both cherished the days when he would lead us on spontaneous adventures to the woodlands and beaches surrounding our Devon home.
MEETING NEEDS
He was nearly five when my youngest arrived, and although he was excited about becoming a big brother there’s no denying his world was shaken out of shape a little. No longer did decisions about how to pass the time mainly revolve around him, and the one-on-one attention I was able to give him shrunk dramatically. This is where babywearing really came into its own for me and for my family. With baby Orson safely cosied up in the sling, I have been able to give him the nurturing he needs whilst once again following eldest - Arthur’s - lead. A quick walk to the post box might turn into an exploration of the lanes around our village; a visit to the beach might become a scramble along the coast path. It always makes me smile watching my big boy power off ahead,
fuelled by endless reserves of independence and stamina. It doesn’t feel that long ago when he was the one spending hours in the sling, and I was being warned that he would never build up the strength he would need to walk by himself because I carried him too much. Turns out that wasn’t something we needed to worry about.
EXPLORING THE LAND
As a family of four, babywearing has allowed us to travel: to navigate our way across campsites; to negotiate trains and buses and boats. When we spent two months exploring Europe in our campervan last Spring we decided only to take a couple of slings with us for our then six month old: a pram would have taken up too much room, and would have made so many places we wanted to visit inaccessible.
It’s not just off the beaten track where babywearing has been invaluable, it has made exploring cities with two young children much easier too. Winding through cobbled streets, dipping into tiny shops, immersing ourselves in culture in museums and art galleries.
One of Arthur’s biggest pleasures is visiting castles: he is fascinated by the history and the stories that they hold in their stones, and I love watching this interest develop. Carrying his brother in the sling has allowed me to follow him up narrow staircases and along towering battlements, ready to answer his questions and share his wonder.
Back home, as a family one of our favourite summertime activities is enjoying live music together. My husband and I loved going to gigs in our pre-parenthood days, and summer is the only time when we really get to indulge in this with our little ones in tow. Festivals with children are a whole new experience, and the crowds are definitely easier to negotiate with a baby carrier.
HOLDING THEM CLOSE
This is still just as true for us as Orson’s second summer approaches. Before he was walking, babywearing was the only way for him to truly be part of our adventures, sleeping and feeding in the sling and watching wide eyed as he took in the world around him. Now he loves to toddle around himself, adept at navigating uneven ground after many hours spent in the forest with his brother, but there are still many times when he needs to be held: either nestled into my chest for comfort and security or carried on my back to give us all a clearer view. He loves to be part of the action, chatting away to me and his brother. And actually being worn has given him access to lots of awesome experiences that he might not otherwise have had. My favourite recently was when a friend brought their pet hawk to our home education group and the children took it in turns to fly him. With Orson safe in the sling we were able to join in too, the three of us sharing this rare and beautiful moment. Wearing my second child has undoubtedly helped build bonds between him and his brother, bringing Orson into Arthur’s world from the very beginning.
It has also, though, helped further cement the bonds between me and my first born. It has allowed us to carry on doing the things we love together, and for Arthur to hold on to some of the freedom of being an only child. And when Orson falls asleep and I tuck his head into the hood I can reach down and take Arthur’s hand in mine. We can chat away like we used to, before I was distracted by a new little life, and he can pour out all of the thoughts that are filling his brain. And amongst all of our adventures that’s definitely a need worth meeting.
Sophie lives in Devon with her young family. Having taught in secondary schools for over ten years, motherhood prompted a change of direction: Sophie is now focusing on her own writing, and home-educating her two young sons. She blogs about parenting and education at raisingrevolutionaries.co.uk.
Photos: didymos.com
