By The Green Parent

12th June 2014

Getting married can be an incredibly expensive occasion in a couple’s life. With costs soaring and many plunging themselves into serious debt to afford the perfect celebration, and many eventually separating due to the stress caused by those debts, it can be intimidating to even consider taking the step of committing to a marriage. But for those who do wish to marry, waiting due to costs or the pressure of feeling obliged to put on a traditional display, it doesn’t have to break the bank. In fact, I recently got married, beautiful dress and reception too, for under £1500.

By The Green Parent

12th June 2014

By The Green Parent

12th June 2014

I realise that £1500 might seem like a large budget still, and there was a time that even that was an amount I wasn’t willing to part with. The truth is, the basic marriage itself costs a mere £125 for a standard registry office wedding. We had often toyed with the idea of rocking up in our everyday clothes, a couple of strangers off of the street, and committing to a marriage rather than a wedding. But, deep down we have always wanted a little celebration and to have our closest friends and family be there with us – so that is what we planned, and we had an incredible day for a really great price. With some family friends forking out as much as £50,000 – I can honestly say that our wedding was every bit as perfect as it could have been and any further expense would have made no difference to that.

With some careful planning, and a commitment to keeping the celebration intimate we managed to keep the costs very low. Here is how we made it happen:
To begin with – little details like baking my own cake and making my children’s bridesmaid dresses added a personal touch without adding to the cost. I baked the cake several days earlier, with my eldest daughter, and together we crafted an enormous, and incredibly, delicious gluten and dairy free chocolate masterpiece that was enjoyed by all. The dresses, I made myself (and I am by no means a professional seamstress) with a few pieces of material and a few choice pieces of clothing from eBay. We invited all of the children attending to dress up in their favourite fancy dress outfits. My daughters wanted to be Elsa and Anna from Frozen and the other children (all girls) dressed up as their favourite Disney princesses. It was another touch to the day that really made it feel special. I made it unique, personal and family focused. Something to reflect our lives as parents, as well as being a couple.

One of the biggest expenses is usually the photographer. We managed to cut costs here by asking my father, an amateur photographer, to take the photographs for us. Most people know someone who owns an SLR camera and I have it on good authority that the trick to getting great photographs, aside from the obvious skill of high end professional photography, is to simply take a lot of them. The pictures we had are by no means professional, but we have some really special and natural photographs of the day taken by somebody very dear to us. I’m not one for staged photographs usually, but having my dad take the pictures kept that to a minimum and felt much less intrusive.

Another expense can often be the rings. Some people don’t feel the need to get rings at all, which can keep costs lower still, but this is one tradition we really wanted to keep. We managed to find two lovely, great quality gold rings in awkward sizes (small for me, large for the man in my life) for £150 delivered from a fantastic seller on eBay with several decades of ring making experience. They are lovely, well crafted and I haven’t a single complaint about them. They also came in a lovely varnished wooden box, which was free and added a really nice touch.

The venue we chose was a simply registry office wedding. We chose to upgrade to the bigger room as the smallest one held only ten people and with 20 people attending we had to pay a little extra taking the total for the ceremony and certificates to £175. The room was lovely, we could choose our own music and as non-religious people it was the perfect, simple and intimate celebration we had been looking for.

The reception was the most expensive part of the celebration, costing roughly £450 for 20 people. My parents very kindly paid for these expenses as their gift to us. I’ve included this in the cost, however, as not everyone has generous relatives to pay for these things.

We chose a local hotel which came highly recommended. Nestled in the beautiful hills, not far from our home, we enjoyed a traditional selection of tea/coffee and tablet/shortbread upon arrival and a 3 course meal with a personally tailored menu at the Tormaukin Hotel in Glendevon. Most of the guests stayed overnight and we celebrated well into the evening before nestling beside a roaring fire to chatter with our nearest and dearest. Unlike many couples in bigger weddings, we managed to spend a lot of time together on the day. We were able to speak with everyone and each other frequently, rather than being divided between large numbers of guests. It is often this part of the celebration that costs the most in weddings and a large part of this is the sheer number of people invited. At roughly £20 per head, it can be easy to see why the costs can be so high. In truth, we were ruthless and likely offended a few family members by keeping it so small. I know many more would have loved to celebrate with us, but as many will know – once you start to soften and invite one person, it’s often the case that you have to also invite another, and another – it quickly escalates and before you know it the guest list is hundreds of people long.

There were 20 of us, including ourselves and 5 children. Immediate family and our closest friends only. Whilst it might have been nice, in a way, to have more people there – it’s closer to the truth to say that it’s just not what we wanted. Small, simple and intimate is all we were looking for in our celebration and a bigger, more costly celebration would easily have been less enjoyable for us. Being a little ruthless on your big day is understandable, it has to be enjoyable and if it’s the only way to keep it affordable then it’s a clear choice. People pleasing is the easiest way to ruin your wedding or ensure it doesn’t happen at all! I also have it on good authority that it’s virtually impossible to please everyone anyway, so you might as well just do what makes you happy.

Lastly, we come to the most scrutinised part of the whole celebration. The outfits! Less so the groom, but even so – this is something we chose to spend a little on. My partner’s father very kindly took him to buy a lovely suit for the day which cost in the region of £350. Again not everyone is so lucky, of course, to have generous relatives so I have included this in the total cost anyway.

Then, there is the bride’s hair and make-up. I spent a lot of time agonising over whether or not to do this myself. I like doing my make-up and have spent many years working on technique but I was repeatedly reading stories from other women who regretted this as their nerves got the better of them on the day. With so much going on, I wanted to relax and leave this to a true professional. To make sure I liked the artist, I searched for the perfect person and booked a trial in advance. A fantastically talented hair and make-up artist by the name of Kiki Chic came out to my home on my hen night and went through exactly what I was looking for. The results were better than I could have expected and as an added bonus she taught me a great deal, giving me countless free tips on how to get certain results with hair and make-up. Tips that I have used and built upon ever since. Invaluable tips I would happily have paid her the same amount for! Charging £60 for hair and make-up, and doing my eldest daughter’s Elsa eyeshadow for free, she made sure I was confident and glowing on the day which made me feel extra special and ready to stand up in front of everyone.

Lastly, but by no means least, the bridal outfit. From the moment we decided to get married, I knew there was only one dress I could even consider wearing. This is often the most important detail for many brides. THE perfect dress. For me, it was never going to be big or fluffy. It was never going to have lace or a train or anything particularly ostentacious. As with my make-up, I wanted a classic vintage look. Something personal, that reflects my own style. So, I went with a beautiful satin Vivien Of Holloway circle dress and whilst it was perfect to me – I hadn’t anticipated the reaction it would receive. Everyone commented on how beautiful it was, friends of family members have been asking where to get one… for a dress that costs a mere £89, it was as loved and admired as any expensive and traditional dress I know of (other than the one belonging to the Duchess of Cambridge, perhaps). I also opted for a pretty petticoat to give the dress some volume and pair of vintage Vegan shoes from the amazing Beyond Skin. The dress and shoes were both incredibly comfortable and the whole look came together perfectly.

As a green family, it was also important to us that everything benefitted local business and was kept as ethical as possible. Whilst most weddings benefit local business to some degree, everything down to the fabrics, shoes and cake ingredients were British made and as locally sourced as possible.

All in all, it was the perfect day. It was special, unique, intimate and a memory we will look back on with great fondness. All who joined us had a lovely time and at no point did it feel as though we were having a “budget” wedding. I truly cannot envisage a way in which it could have been better and I like to think I say this with my unbiased writer’s head firmly on.

Naturally, what we want isn’t always going to be what other people want. But if it has illustrated anything, it’s that you don’t have to have a big and expensive wedding to have a great wedding. You can still have the day you want at a price that is affordable. At the end of the day, a wedding is just a for a day – and my eyes still watered a tiny bit the following day when I thought about how much money had been spent on something that passed so quickly. It’s the marriage that matters and the relationship you should be truly investing in. Simply being married is what makes the day as special as it is, regardless of all the trimmings.

Breakdown:
• Ceremony – £175
• Rings – £150
• Groom’s Suit – £350
• Bride’s Outfit – £272
• Hair and Makeup – £60
• Buttonholes – £30
• Reception – £450

Total: £1,487

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