Yoga, Alternative medicine, Green living, Music and singing, Writing and reading, holistic living
I, from a young age always felt that something was missing. I began my search to fill this gap very early on by reading lots of self help books ( You can heal your life, (Louise L Hay), The Celestine Prophecy (Redfield). The information that I have read over the years has provided me with a strong sense of spirituality and I could help anyone out of a situation through the knowledge and skills I have obtained but did I really feel like it has filled the missing link ? No in short, so I began to search harder, train to get more concrete qualifications. I still felt this emptiness after going to workshop after workshop, so I traveled to Ashrams, seeking meditation and yoga, trying to silence my mind and open my heart, and still live in the real world, get a job and pay the bills. After traveling to New Zealand and Australia, meeting new people, experiencing new adventures, and continuing to read more books, that emptiness still resided within me.
Until today I have honestly thought that happiness was outside of myself. Something that I had to obtain. If I bought that new TV, went on that luxury holiday or found my soul mate, I would be healed and I would feel whole. But recently after all of my ‘searching’ something clicked, (and this isn’t to say that my searching has been a waste of time, because I have needed this journey in order to get to the point). But I have realized that happiness, security, peace, all of those things I have been searching for are all within me. Nothing is outside of myself. No person, no event, no material object can really bring me ever lasting happiness, peace, serenity (etc). I am the only one who I am going to be with for the rest of my life so I better start realising that I am home ! Nothing else will ever fill that ‘missing part’. I am my own missing part, and I can ‘fill that gap’ whenever I choose too.
Ok so the deepest part to me is set out on this page, apart from my searching, I have had a whole lot of fun over the years. I have traveled a lot and experienced so much- from snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef, to Meditating in an Ashram in France, to Falling from the sky on a Bungi in New Zealand. I have had many friends, good friends in my life, who I have lost and then regained. I have had a love in my life who has been my best friend, I owe them a lot, I have had a beautiful love that has rocked my world. I have had the drunken nights, falling out of night clubs, I have had the quiet DVD nights in. I have experienced parent’s divorce and survived (barely LOL), I have experienced death.
I am looking forward to creating the life that I really want now instead of getting thrown around by life. I am realizing that I can create the life of my dreams and that I don’t have to listen to negativity.