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I’m really trying to follow attachment parenting upbringing but tend to default to authoritarian as how brought up. My son doesn’t respond to authoritarian disrespectful style and so we enrolled him in a Montrssori pre-school. Turns out not really Montessori - just using the name. He’s cooped up in a small room and has little guidance. There deems to be no respect for the children - he was put in time out many times for small things and things ge had never even done - like once he was dancing and his arm hit a boy and so he was put in time out and forced to appologise and I cannot fathom what he learnt from that? So pulled him out and wondering what Montessori actually means now

He has hearing problems due to glue ear and has now started to stammer - any advice on that welcome too?

I am reading Unconditional Parenting to enhance our attachment parenting style and found it very useful.

Any ideas on schools? The one he will be sent to be default has two 25 child classes shoved together so a large class size.

Also to complicate things, we are Christian so not sure how that fits in, or whether to have school as non denominational and go to church school together? We also have baby twins so thinking about them all schooling together.

I can’t home school. I don’t have the patience but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad mother I hope - I just know my limits.

I think a great Mother is one who knows her limits and pushes herself beyond them as you are obviously doing by reading Unconditional Parenting when that’s not your default style smile
Not sure of the school answers, but didn’t want to read and run.  I think you can put a name on anything really, but the practice is what matters.  I teach in a primary school, but would like to think that my teaching style is more gentle and similar to my parenting style than many percieve of mainstream schooling.
My ds1 occasionally stammers, well repeatedlty tries to start a sentence, doesn’t stammer over single words.  The advice we have been given by speech therapist and from my own reading is to draw no attention to it, model slow clear speech, allow time for child to speak the word themselves irrespective of time it takes and don’t say “take your time”.  I have found that it occours in waves and is usually accompanied by a period of change/development in him himself.  We’ve also been told that his vocabulary is greater than his ablility to express himself at times and is the probable cause of it.
Has the glue ear and stammer been checked?  Grommits are the medical way to treat glue ear, but someone here might know of a homeopathic or other treatment?
Best wishes x

That’s half the problem with Montessori schools, the name is out there on the www and therefore anyone can get the equipment and set themselves up. Time out is most certainly NOT true Montessori and I’m sorry you had such a bad experience, because, the true Montessori method is respectful of the child etc etc.

However, I’m not sure that you need to find the right lBel for the type of education ie: Steiner, Montessori etc, what you just need ot do is find the right school that suits your son. It may even be “mainstream”.

It sounds to me that you son is just a boy and having had a son with glue ear they do tend to overcompensate for their loss of hearing, thus be louder and possibly more spirited.

I agree that you need to see if you can maybe have grommets fitted. They did my son the world of good and now, at 8, he doesn’t shout as he used to.
Don’t be harsh on yourself, as the PP said, a truly attached mamma is going to know her own limits and be able to recognise the needs of her child, it doesn’t mean you ahve to be a home educator. Do what you think is best for your son.

Good luck xx

Sounds as if you are a very caring parent who is keen to find the right school for their child. 

Are there any other schools around your area that you could look at?  Primary as well as non-mainstream?

FWIW - there were several very committed Christians at our Steiner school, including one teacher.  Each person found their own way to marry the teachings of their church and the principals of Steiner based education but I think it is very important to know that they are not mutually exclusive.

Also should add that at both Steiner schools we have been part of, there were a number of faiths represented and, in fairness, ALL schools should be accepting of which ever faith a family has.

My youngest son attends a montessori school and we feel it’s working very well for him.  he has SEN with very delayed speech and the staff have been very supportive by allowing him to stay in the 3 to 5 room rather than go up to the ‘proper’ school.  In time this will suit him as each class has only 10 children.  The whole atmosphere is very calm and quite structured so he’s not distracted or overwhelmed.  Whilst it’s good for him my other son would not cope at all - I think his head would blow off it’s just so against his way of dealing with things.  I know we’re lucky and it’s down to the schools available but I think I agree with a previous post - it’s not the label of the school but down to each individual school and the staff they have.  I’m posting really because I believe it takes a great deal of courage to be honest about whether as a parent you can home ed.  Good luck with your search for the right school.x

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