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Both the Montessori and playgroup we attend don’t ‘do’ anything for Fathers day because they say that they don’t want to make it harder for those children who don’t have a father. I can kind of understand that, although there is a little girl who attends who has male same sex parents and the same thoughtfulness obviously wasn’t given to her feelings as we were each given handmade cards, chocolate and wild flowers for Mothers day!

I was discussing it with DH last night and he said he thought it was sad and that it’s like Fathers are non necessary parts of the family these days. That the less they are valued and recognised in our culture the less they are likely to feel their role is vital and so carry it our properly.

I know we have single mama’s and less tradtional families here as well as the more traditional set ups so I’m interested to see what you guys think.

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead; tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
~~~Groucho Marx~~~~~

Whilst I can understand their perspective to a degree, I do find it quite sad that Fathers are not celebrated in the same way as Mothers.

I think I agree with your DH’s opinion on this

x

Proud Mummy to our gorgeous new daughter Rowan born July 2011

GP Lets no 134

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Are the playgroups linked in any way to the C of E? Similarly my daughters school did crafts and assembly time around mothers day but there is nothing for fathers day, it is a C of E school. I found out that it was because if it being CofE. Mothers Day has its origins from a church festival, whereas Fathers Day doesn’t (a creation from America).

I thin it’s a shame though as fathers are important, and as all faiths are respected in schools, I think there could be some relaxing around this too.

That’s interesting Eden! The Montessori is not religious at all but the playgroup leaders are Methodist. I’d no idea it could be a religion thing…hmm…

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead; tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
~~~Groucho Marx~~~~~

Yeah I only found out at a parents/friends group thing I’m involved in with the school and we were talking about upcoming events like the Summer fayre, etc and someone mentioned fathers day and wondering if the children were doing anything in class as they did for mothers day and it came up that it was because it wasn’t part of the CofE, our headmistress was there at this meeting and confirmed it too. Shame though for all the Dads.

I think it’s awful, surely its either an all or nothing especially with the girl who’s parents are same sex!  I am quite shocked to be honest, there are always ways around it, I come from a single parent family and either gave the card to my mum as she did the job of two parents or to my grandad - there’s usually a male figure somewhere that appreciates the sentiment of a child saying thank you.

Some things that come out of these schools seem very strange and quite worrying to me but I know little about the overall!
sarie

Treat the earth well: it was not given to you by your parents,
it was loaned to you by your children.
We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors,
we borrow it from our Children.

LETS number 64

I agree Sarie, I find it quite bizarre that since that meeting we had a leaflet about the local church (linked to the school) having a Fathers Day bbq this weekend in the grounds of the vicarage. Something I was going to raise at our next meeting together to perhaps include Fathers Day next year if the church is obviously celebrating it. It’s odd as it’s a really forward thinking school and I believe the church is too.

ETA: Maybe they just didn’t do anything this year because they always haven’t. Who knows I’ll probably go and pick her up in a while and find them coming out with something they’ve made for their Dads smile

I remember my school doing something similar Sarie - I think everyone was encouraged to make something, but then give it to either Mum, or another relative - a much more inclusive approach smile

Proud Mummy to our gorgeous new daughter Rowan born July 2011

GP Lets no 134

Pendulous Threads - handmade bags and accesories

sarie - 17 June 2011 12:10 PM

Some things that come out of these schools seem very strange and quite worrying to me but I know little about the overall!
sarie

Completely agree Sarie.  There are a lot of rules/traditions etc from schools that I get so annoyed with. There is no common sense behind it. Its a rule, so thats what we do! Grrrr!!!!

I work in a nursery and this year (and previous years) we have celebrated Mothers/Father’s day. But as of next year apparently we are no longer able to do it. No one has any solid reason as to why…it’s just what Ofsted want. (Double GRRRR!!!!).

In my opinion, we should mention it as the majority of children know about it. We could say “some people celebrate this” bla bla…a nd then leave card, glue, bits to stick, paint etc (as we do anyway) out for anyone to make a card “if they want to”. At the moment all children have to make a card - which I strongly DISAGREE with. This is because some just can’t stand messy play and children shouldn’t be made to make something that they’re not wanting to do. Also, I can’t stand that they all make the same card and they all have one to try and copy. GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (One of my many gripes about my workplace).  I think, at all times materials to make cards should be out for the children to make for someone they love if they choose to (but obviously mentioning Fathers/Mother’s day on those particular days in case anyone wants to make one for their mum/dad).

As for the child with same sex parents - then the dads should get cards too.  I looked after a little boy with co-parents (one biological mum who was Mummy and her partner who was Mama who he lived with and his biological daddy and his male partner too - all great friends) We always doubled up on Mothers/Fathers Day cards when the days arose and made sure he told us which one he wanted to give to which parent. x

Is there any reason they couldn’t have celebrated it and included all male members of family, Grandfathers, GreatGrandfathers, not just dads?

Seems a bit selfish if they did something for Mother’s Day. x

Blue-haired crunchy Mama to Ru (5 yrs), Pixie Willow (3 years) and Baby Gaia (7 months).

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Funnily enough, I never did Fathers’ Day as a child myself, but always did Mothers’ Day. Then when DD came along, so too did Fathers’ Day on our sort of family calendar - wouldn’t dream of leaving DH out! Maybe that’s a generation thing (I’m 32, and my parents regarded Fathers’ Day as an American thing which wasn’t to be contemplated!)... But certainly it seems a shame to me now, and I try to at least talk to my father on the phone, even if he’s not bothered, while DD has already made DH two cards so far this week…!

Earthenwitch

Mama to DD (1 June 2008) and DD2 (10 August 2011)
Patchwork-loving colour magpie living in a cob renovation house with an exploding garden

Hmm - DS2 goes to a Gaelic nursery which has fairly close, although not overt church influences - and many parents are strongly religious - yet he came out yesterday with a big father’s day card and a key ring that he had made.  I think the teachers would know the children and help them to make an appropriate card.  it’s not as if they won’t know about Father’s Day anyway, as the shops always make a big deal out of those things - no account for those without father’s there.
xx

I think they should celebrate both, children in care etc aren’t with their mothers for mothers day, noone thinks of them and it doesnt stop anyone celebrating mothers day….dads are important too.

Neither of my children have made anything at school for Father’s Day. One goes to a state non religious infant school and the other goes to a CofE junior school. The infant school did Mother’s day cards so not sure why they haven’t done fathers day (maybe as the majority of staff - minus one - are women) but the junior school didn’t do Mother’s day either so at least they’re not favouring the mums over the dads.

Mine did loads for mothers day and nothing for fathers day… Dads are important too!

Off to make cards with the kids now before he gets home from work!

Mum of T (Oct 2002) and C (April 2005), Breastfeeding Counsellor and owner of Cariad Mam nursing bras. Enter our photo competition!

Mine havent done anything at school for fathers day but then they didnt for mothers day either.Think the teachers pressume that that will be done at home with the help of parents.
Of course I always get the bum deal as DH hates these kind of days and thinks they are too commercial and ‘Im not his mother anyway’.But the kids always make a card and my biggest girl usually makes me a cup of tea in bed-so Im not complaining.
I must say when I was little we celebrated mothers day but not fathers day.Id assumed that was because it wasnt invented then(as mothers day has been around for ages and fathers day is a much more recent thing) but it could also have been that my parents thought it was ‘american’ like Earthenwitches.Im also 32.Not sure when it was introduced here. Does anyone know?And Mothers day,How long has that been around?

Mummy to 4

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