Issue 92 is out now

Welcome to The Green Parent Forum

A place where you can chat to like-minded parents, form new friendships, share ideas, events and recipes. Use the search tool to find a wealth of information from the past 10 years of forum discussions. Register today and become part of our supportive community.

Morning Ladies,

My eldest son, nearly 9, has Aspergers, it’s a relatively recent diagnosis so we’re still trying to figure out what we’re meant to be doing with him in regards to this.  Anyway, my post is about what I can only think to describe as a physical hypersensitivity.  He has an unusually low pain threshold, he can’t bear to be tickled and if we do he lashes out and kicks REALLY hard which he says is uncontrollable and he’s not doing it on purpose.  A couple of examples I can think of was when we’ve had to administer eye drops… remove a splinter… mild constipation… all of these events have caused HYSTERICAL SCREAMING fits that would be acceptable if in acute, unbearable pain.  He will only wear clothes that are soft on his skin and cause no irritation eg only cotton or fleece…Labels are a big no-no!  He’ll only wear pants and little swimming trunks, he won’t put on boxer shorts or swimming shorts.  If he is wearing a jumper with a hood he’ll refuse to wear a coat with a hood because he feels 2 hoods is uncomfortable?!?!  I’ve never seen anything like it!  Do you think this would be connected to his Aspergers?  Does anyone elses child act like this?  Could it be something I have brought on by a degree of molly-coddling?!  Any suggestions on how to manage it?  We currently have three boys and another on the way so time and finances are divided between them all.

Thanks, as always, for your insight and help!x

PS Unsure if this is relevant but only about 4 people are aware of his Aspergers.

Open All The Boxes

Mommy to Jacob (13.03.04), Joe-Joe (17.01.10) Noah (02.03.11) and Thomas (19.05.13)

Taking baby steps towards a more sustainable, conscientious lifestyle.

I know very little about this, but a friend has a son who has Aspergers and he too suffers from this too, everything you described sounds very familiar.

He uses a weighted blanket at night especially for people with Aspergers and she says that brings him a lot of comfort.

I’m sure others will be able to give really good and much more specific advice! Xx

Unschooling Mama to Ava (2) and Ezra (due April), living and parenting as mindfully as possible.

MamaMake, handmade whimsy -

I cant comment on whether its related to Aspergers, but my son is very like you describe. I find it is worse when he is anxious. I try to be really patient, but when its bad its very wearing! I dont really know what tips I can give you, but I can empathise. I cut all labels out….he will only wear PJ style bottoms mostly…....he wont wear pants…..socks are the worst thing & shoes, on a bad day if we are walking somewhere, he might stop every 2 minutes to adjust his socks, we have now found no socks with his snow boots are the best combination. I find its trial & error really. Tbh, your question about mollycoddling, I dont think its atall your fault. With my DS if I try to be tougher on it, he just gets very distressed, so I have to just assume its genuine & work with him to find solutions.

What is a weighted blanket by the way? can someone enlighten me? I have real problems with DS and bedding and just wondering if this could be my saviour?!

To dare is to lose ones footing temporarily, to not dare is to lose oneself.

LETS number 137

I’m quite sensitive clothing wise, and it is genuine! I completely get the hood thing - if you have a jumper with a hood, the hood has to go outside the coat, or it is all rucked up, and if there are two hoods on the outside they are really bulky around the neck. It’s also pointless having two hoods - you can only wear one at a time!

Neck labels have to go - they scratch and irritate. I actually like the silky labels at the sides of clothes - I find them soothing to play with (wow, I sound weird!). I can’t wear anything lacy, and the net that often covers seams in bras drives me insane! I have to find totally plain ones with uncovered seams. Drove me to distraction when pregnant with Grace - it’s hard enough finding normal bras which meet my needs, without trying to find maternity/breastfeeding ones!

I wear bamboo seamless socks, because the seams on socks drive me nuts.

So, I think hypersensitivity *can* be part of aspergers, or you can have the two independantly, but it is a genuine issue. I would find it hard to concentrate and focus on anything if my clothes were wrong, so I think it would be counter-productive to force the issue. I can’t see how “indulging” it would make it worse - for me there are things that cause a problem and things that don’t - being mindful of things that cause a problem doesn’t turn the non-problems into problems…..I can’t see any logical reason why it would. On the other hand, being forced to wear something I struggled with would make me conscious of everything I was wearing at that time and might create more negative associations.


Angie Sea Glass Jewellery from the beautiful South Coast[/color] , Nannie Cool - for beautiful slings, playsilks, toys, nappy wraps and accessories made by Grace’s Nannie. All designs are “Approved by Grace”

My eldest does not have apsergers but has a form of physical hypersensitivity, some call it tactile defensiveness.  He too will howl in pain at, what others would think, a minor injury and hates being tickled. I am lucky that labels do not seem to present a problem but clothes do need to be soft and comfy.  My eldest hates to have dirty hands and will not touch many things that other children would love.  He hates playdough, painting and any sensory games that involved touch, as a baby he never put anything in his mouth. Any crafts we do have to be clean and with materials he is happy with.

I have found it is not something that they grow out of, so far, but if managed is liveable with.  A firm touch, rather than gentle is good, when he is hurt I validate his pain even tho I might feel it is minor.  I would never force him to touch anything that I know he is not happy with.

I would not be at all surprised if those with apsergers are also physically hypersensitive.

Google sensory processing disorder and the out of sync child

My son has this but is mostly hypo sensitive (requires a lot of sensory input, never sits still, always swinging etc) - in his case linked to joint hyper mobility rather than ASD.

Occupational therapists can assist with this and provide techniques and advice to help x

Ds1 - 8
Ds2/dd - 3
Ds3 - born dec 2010

Fascinating, I’m not aspie but can relate to nearly everything you say that affects your son. I get angry when I’m tickled and lash out, the same if someone accidentally bumps into me or brushes past me. Two hoods is a huge no-no, same with seams in knickers, socks etc. Labels have to be cut out of clothes, can’t wear wool around my neck, hate cuffs around my wrists and ankelsif they are too tight. Can’t bear shoes with laces I’d they are too tight…
I’m highly sensitive though, as in HSP, so maybe there is a correlation?
I’m sure it difficult to be sensitive to if you don’t suffer from it, but try your best to be compassionate as it’s so real and distressing!!

I help your customers find you on Google. Website design | SEO | Social Media | PR | Author

“Internet marketing solutions that transform your online business”:

Connect with me on Twitter:

Find me on LinkedIn:

LETS member 35

The clothes thing we can deal with it’s no biggy really but the “pain” issue can be a bit embarrassing around others and frustrating between ourselves having 2 (nearly 3) boisterous toddler boys!  We are trying to accommodate all of his “special” needs but I need to be honest, I find it very difficult some times and do lose my patience even though I know he hasn’t chosen to be this way :( x

Open All The Boxes

Mommy to Jacob (13.03.04), Joe-Joe (17.01.10) Noah (02.03.11) and Thomas (19.05.13)

Taking baby steps towards a more sustainable, conscientious lifestyle.

I also have a lot of these issues and am a hsp all my 3 boys have similar traits to varying degrees (none with aspergers though) they sound like typical hsp traits to me well at least thats what i have always considered them to be. ds1 is 12 now and has grown out of a lot of it, well at least manages it now without any issues, he used to be awful, would only wear his school trousers as he found them comfy and i tried so many different pairs of trousers but to my shame he would only put school trousers on all weekend when he was little! he couldnt tolerate labels, seams etc etc when i found something he could wear i’d buy mulitple so we wouldnt run out in case we couldnt get them again…...... ds2 has similar issues but not as bad usually relate to how tight things are or not eg shoes, cant wear certain short sleeve/long sleeve combinations, i’ve lost track of what to be honest! and now ds3 who seemed to not have these issues is starting to complain about labels, coat over hoody etc….

Lucy x

Yes - me too. My mum used to make me wear nylon nighties with elasticated cuffs and scratchy lace collar - I really freaked out over it!
I do relate to alot of it (lables hoods seams). I also have a problem with hairy leaved plants and certain other plants which feel like they sting or irritate my skin if I touch them. I’m mildly dyslexic and dyspraxic.
I think I over-react to pain - it’s like an impulse I can’t control - much like the tickling (which makes me feel physically sick). I have got better with age though and might over-react initially but quickly calm down afterwards now. This is really interesting as I never considered their might be a link - thank you

Thanks for all your replies! I’m genuinely shocked as to how common it is!  I really thought just one or two people may have had an idea or suggestion!xxx

Open All The Boxes

Mommy to Jacob (13.03.04), Joe-Joe (17.01.10) Noah (02.03.11) and Thomas (19.05.13)

Taking baby steps towards a more sustainable, conscientious lifestyle.

My son is currently under investigation for Aspergers and has the clothing thing too :(

Liz grin x

Druid, boat-dwelling, home educating mum of DD1 (11), Aspie DS (9) and baby DD2 (2), & part-time step-mum to 2 stepdaughters, 9 and 7.

Share this with friends

Recent Posts