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Hiya, hoping for some help, I’m breastfeeding my 19 month old, and am wondering how easy it is to stop at this age? I’m guessing it’s not something he will lose interest in on his own until he is quite a bit bigger. I don’t mind keeping the night feed for some more months to come, I find breastfeeding him at bedtime fine, and lovely and soothing for him to get him sleepy and now he is sleeping in his own room I like the connection before bedtime, but I’m not really keen on the daytime anymore.
I know I shouldn’t really care what other people think but with him being quite tall for his age, I’m aware he looks quite old in some people’s eyes and I don’t like my top being scrabbled at and pulled up when we’re out and about! For the first time ever, I actually felt mildly embarrassed when I headed to a toddler group this morning, having never met anyone here before, and then he started getting anxious for a feed. I did feed him and was quite surprised at how I felt about it, as I was a bit nervous wondering what people thought about this seemingly huge child sprawled across my lap (nobody else there was breastfeeding, even the younger ones) - the girl I was chatting to didn’t say anything except that she only managed 5 months, and we were sat away from the main group. It’s not just about what other people think though, I just don’t really feel I have the time for it any more in the day, and I don’t mean physical time, I just don’t really like it in the day anymore, he is now very ‘gropey’ and fidgety and I feel like I’m being mauled some days, I also don’t like him just helping himself now he can pretty much get to them himself if I don’t stop him!
I should add he has a cup of full-fat goat’s milk in the morning with breakfast and at night-time before bed, drinks plenty of water and has a pretty good appetite for solids now too and eats a balanced vegetarian diet, so I don’t think he relies on it for calories anymore, which he really did up until 3 or 4 months ago, I think he would have lost weight then if the breastmilk was cut out as he really didn’t eat much else then, he was slow to solids. He has been steady at 91st percentile most of his life or just under.
The best thing to try and cut down on daytime feeds is distraction - don’t bf him straight away - see if he will have a drink of water / a snack or do something else instead until he forgets he asked. If he really wants the bf you won’t distract him but it’s surprising how many times he might not be that bothered.
But don’t worry about other people, if he wants to bf, and you are happy to continue then do so xx
(I stopped feeding ds2 at 19 mths because he was getting very gropey, pulling my boobs out etc and I didn’t like it so I appreciate why you want to stop in the daytime at least.)
How about thinking about what his feeding cues are and trying to replace them - eg if he’s after a wee snack / drink, then give him something fairly prestigious to eat or drink. If it’s because he’s tired and wants to fall asleep on you, then take him for a walk in the pushchair or whatever’s likely to help him sleep. If he’s hurt himself try a different strategy - whatever would work for him. If it’s because he’s bored, help him find something entertaining, etc…...
He’s old enough now to to learn, and hopefully accept, nursing only at home or in certain conditions.
Having said all that, I did have a long time of not sitting down whenever Thom was around because he always took it as a cue to feed, especially if I was on a computer of any kind - made me realise I’d been using feeding him as a tool to get some peaceful online time…..... He stopped altogether at 2 1/2. Can’t remember when he day-weaned.
Totally with you on day-weaning, if you are fed up of it - all the more if it means you both get to continue enjoying the night time bf.
Don’t sit down!
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