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So, yesterday I took my kids to WHSmith to get some sticker books to get us through midday heat, when we got to the till my 5y old dropped the first news newspaper she was carrying and the pages all splattered over the floor.  My LO just said, ‘Mummy’ - no screaming/hysterics or anything and
‘Only 6 weeks to go’ said the till woman who was actually the store manager.
I was really stunned and just picked the paper up and left.  I didn’t have energy or inclination to say ‘actually we are home educators and I do not count down days to be apart from my kids’ as tbh they didn’t hear the remark (obviously she spoke to ME not them) but it struck me as such a horrid remark anda reflection of how children reallya re not embraced in our communities?
Am I reading too much into it?

I have always been amazed by my sisters and my friends etc who quite literally count down the days until the children go back to school.

Personally I CANNOT WAIT until the next school hols and live for the time when we can be together all day, even if it is to just literally ‘be’ together. Obviously now she is older she does her own thing as well, but for me the school holidays are an absolute blessing - and I wish they were longer!

I wouldn’t take any notice of the shop lady. She was probably hot and bothered - as we all are at times at the moment I should think! But I do agree that a lot of mums seem to long for the school term to start again in September. It would be interesting to know whether they really feel this way, or just assume that this is what they are meant to feel seeing as many people reaffirm the thought by repeating it to each other…

Have a happy day today smile

Trying to do everything - failing madly!

Being constantly & lovingly educated by daughter Freya, 19 cheese

Totally agree, you only have to look at the popularity of indoor play centres to confirm this. One near us even has an alcohol licence so you can go in the evening or on Sundays to meet up with friends etc without inflicting the children on the wider world in pubs, restaurants or god forbid public parks wink
Makes me sad really, and it’s not suprising that a lot of children then can’t entertain themselves when they do go out to restaurants etc because they are used to having everything child centred and focused for them all the time…

Oh and yes people are already making six long weeks comments to me! I love having my older one home and the little ones can’t wait!

AJ x

I literally cant read FB at the beginning of the summer hols..its wall to wall ‘oh god, its only day 2 and already i cant wait till sept’ ..and ‘give me strength to survive these evil holidays’ comments..so negative…gah!
i think its just embedded in todays world (well in UK anyway) that all parents find their children frustrating and sending them to school is the only way to survive and having them at home is a complete bore..cant understand it myself, yes i have days when they are driving me mad but it just makes me more focussed on their needs and ways to make us all get along better.. buy hey ho let everyone else wallow in their own miseries and enjoy your own while they are young.

hmm its just inspired me to invent a FB comment about enjoying the hols ahead..how about this ‘to all the people out there truly blessed with lovely children, lets have none of the normal moaning abot the summer holiday comments, my FB is always littered with such negativity this time of year. maybe stop for a moment and look at the beautiful beings you have created and think about how to make the summer holidays a positive thing for your family’
mummyk x

happy mummy at last to DD born March 2006..and DS born sept 2007..wonderful fabulous gifts. living as green as possible but always striving to be better!home edding and loving it!

LETS no 116

Ru’s last day of nursery is today and I can’t WAIT for the next six weeks! I’m secretly hoping he might not WANT to go back! wink

Blue-haired crunchy Mama to Ru (5 yrs), Pixie Willow (3 years) and Baby Gaia (7 months).

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I love the summer holidays too. Yes of course they drive me mad sometimes… We wouldn’t be human if we never felt a little stressed (not the word I’m looking for but you know what I mean) when everyone’s got and bothered and shouting at each other. But we like spending our days chilling at home or with friends at the beach. No school run. No rushing… Just “being”. grin

We can’t wait for the summer holidays to start here next Wednesday. It’s lovely as we’re all together, my husband is a teacher and his school holidays tend to match the children’s school exactly. It’s lovely to feel complete freedom with no restrictions on our time. smile

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I think you have read too much into what she said.

It is true that many people do struggle to be with their children for extended periods of time, usually those who went back to work when they were still quite small.  I don’t think that wanting to be with your child ALL the time makes you a better parent, and those who look upon the summer hols with dread are any worse.  Entertaining a child for six weeks plus is no easy feat (and I think that it is even harder for children who attend school as perhaps they are not used to just hanging around as much as a HE child might be) so it must be quite fraught for families who are working to ensure their child is occupied and happy etc.

I relish the fact that soft plays have eating areas/other facilities (have yet to see a bar though!) and I see that as a positive thing, it is a family friendly place where kids can run a bit wilder than normal, and I loved the days when mine charged off into the play area and I sat and read a book (I used to instruct them not to come to me moaning/whinging about silly things *shock horror*)  I don’t think that indicates an anti-child society at all, I see so many improvements in that department.  It is the parents that I see following their children around soft play trying to make everything into a learning experience that worries me! 

BTW I have always home educated, but I do like (NEED) a break every now and then wink

Muslim mum of four, home educating, environmental hypocrite (but doing my best) hodge podging through this life…..

We do live in such an anti-child society,  I really agree. One symptom of this is the way children are pushed to grow up so quickly because apparently just being children is a general nuisance. 

I don’t understand this attitude so many people have of wanting to complain about their kids constantly and wanting to be apart from them on a regular basis…why have kids? And what effect does that have on you to grow up hearing all the adults in your life moan about what a burden they are?

I don’t understand it but fair enough if that’s how you feel. However I won’t pretend to feel anything less than thrilled I get to spend my days with my kids and really grateful!

X

Unschooling Mama to Ava (2) and Ezra (due April), living and parenting as mindfully as possible.

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She was probably saying what seems to be a standard refrain at the start of school holiday, and chances are she just assumed thats how parents feel, due to the common refrain (or maybe thats how she feels). Either way it is sad that a chance to spend time with our children doesn’t seem to be embraced positively very often :(
We home educate, and yes there are times the pixies drive me nuts, but I would miss them like crazy if they went to school, and would be relishing every moment (although I’m sure they’d still drive me nuts some days).
Mummyk, I have that same experience with fb, although it is always refreshing to see one of my good friends who is a teacher, counting down to the holidays, not to get away from the kids she teaches, but because she can’t wait to spend those 6 weeks with her own beautiful children smile

Mummy to 4 little pixies: Seren (feb 08), Merri (may 09), Nerys (june 11) & Lyra (April 13)

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This time last year when DD finished nursery (and before we started HE) I couldn’t believe many of the mothers were when we picked our children up on the last day.
One mother made a comment about dreading the next 6 weeks and 3 others joined in saying how they would be counting down the days because it drives them crazy being with their kids, nothing to do with having to arrange childcare or finding it difficult to juggle work/childcare etc, none of these mothers work.
Found myself watching in horror and wondering if I was the only one excited to have my girl all to myself again then my friend said ‘well im really excited it’s the holidays because it means 6 weeks of lovely family time’ and I breathed a sigh of relief for not being the only parent there who likes spending time with my children.

I would have been annoyed at the comment in WH Smith too and no doubt made a spectacle of myself by announcing loudly that they are home educated so will be back carrying newspapers even when all others are back in school lol.

Mum to 2 georgous little ones, my little girl 6 and her little brother 4.

I totally do think the society we live in is very anti-child, sees children as more of a nuisance than anything else, and is not encouraging of parents out in public places with their children. Perhaps I’m just more immune to it than I used to be, or maybe the admiration/shock factor of seeing FOUR (!) children out in public means I don’t get as much flack now, but I used to hear a lot of it. A lot of, “Poor you, is it an inset day?” and “Not long til term starts!” and even being asked to leave a cafe because the lady next to us objected loudly and obnoxiously to our then four year old singing a quiet little happy song. :/

The thing is, by constantly defending our kids against people who genuinely seem to think them inferior adults-in-training rather than actual people in their own right, it pushes mothers into a false position of not being able to say how bloody hard it is sometimes, or express that we don’t actually LIKE being with our own kids EVERY SINGLE SECOND. And sometimes we don’t feel like being paragons of maternal sweetness. And sometimes they really do act like animals. And it’s not always “nice”. Even when we love being with them, and even if we’re used to being with them nearly constantly. I can imagine looking ahead to the six weeks and feeling overwhelmed, I really can. I can’t imagine feeling safe enough to complain about it though, without either justifying the large anti-child contingent, or getting told off by those who feel they have to defend the “motherhood is all rainbows” view. It’s the same thing that keeps me from publicly expressing that I find it hard being on my own for long hours with four children. Yeah I feel safe saying that here, or on my blog, but no way I’d make the mistake of saying it in front of my Dad’s wife or half of my real life friends.

My personal rule is never EVER to express negativity about someone else’s child, and to find something nice to say to harried parents absolutely any time I possibly can. Your kid is screaming in the supermarket? A friendly grin and maybe a “gosh it’s hard when that happens, need a hand?” if there appears to be the slightest openness to such an offer. A “good job they’re so cute” or a “that sounds so frustrating!” to the mama venting about her hard day. An “it gets easier” to mums with tiny ones goes a long way, too, and is marginally less annoying than “they grow so fast, you’ll miss this stage one day!”. wink

It actually is HARD. And as much as it’s a calling and an amazing sacred trust and all that, everyone should be safe to express their reality without getting told that they shouldn’t have bothered having kids. If total strangers could be a bit more positive though, and fling a bit more support than judgement in the direction of That Mum with the screaming child on the bus, wouldn’t it be better for all of us? smile

Sarah
Living, loving, learning, laughing, growing, with
8yo Jenna (August 04)
6yo Morgan (December 06)
4yo Rowan (April 09)
and toddling baby Talia (December 11)

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GP LETS number 17

Sarah, I couldn’t have said it any better!

Love, Sunshinexx

Sunshine
CARPE DIEM!

(Lets number 63)

arwen_tiw - 19 July 2013 12:17 PM

I totally do think the society we live in is very anti-child, sees children as more of a nuisance than anything else, and is not encouraging of parents out in public places with their children. Perhaps I’m just more immune to it than I used to be, or maybe the admiration/shock factor of seeing FOUR (!) children out in public means I don’t get as much flack now, but I used to hear a lot of it. A lot of, “Poor you, is it an inset day?” and “Not long til term starts!” and even being asked to leave a cafe because the lady next to us objected loudly and obnoxiously to our then four year old singing a quiet little happy song. :/

The thing is, by constantly defending our kids against people who genuinely seem to think them inferior adults-in-training rather than actual people in their own right, it pushes mothers into a false position of not being able to say how bloody hard it is sometimes, or express that we don’t actually LIKE being with our own kids EVERY SINGLE SECOND. And sometimes we don’t feel like being paragons of maternal sweetness. And sometimes they really do act like animals. And it’s not always “nice”. Even when we love being with them, and even if we’re used to being with them nearly constantly. I can imagine looking ahead to the six weeks and feeling overwhelmed, I really can. I can’t imagine feeling safe enough to complain about it though, without either justifying the large anti-child contingent, or getting told off by those who feel they have to defend the “motherhood is all rainbows” view. It’s the same thing that keeps me from publicly expressing that I find it hard being on my own for long hours with four children. Yeah I feel safe saying that here, or on my blog, but no way I’d make the mistake of saying it in front of my Dad’s wife or half of my real life friends.

My personal rule is never EVER to express negativity about someone else’s child, and to find something nice to say to harried parents absolutely any time I possibly can. Your kid is screaming in the supermarket? A friendly grin and maybe a “gosh it’s hard when that happens, need a hand?” if there appears to be the slightest openness to such an offer. A “good job they’re so cute” or a “that sounds so frustrating!” to the mama venting about her hard day. An “it gets easier” to mums with tiny ones goes a long way, too, and is marginally less annoying than “they grow so fast, you’ll miss this stage one day!”. wink

It actually is HARD. And as much as it’s a calling and an amazing sacred trust and all that, everyone should be safe to express their reality without getting told that they shouldn’t have bothered having kids. If total strangers could be a bit more positive though, and fling a bit more support than judgement in the direction of That Mum with the screaming child on the bus, wouldn’t it be better for all of us? smile

Yes, that. Exactly that - and after a long day, my dh does this to me sometimes. Just because all the children have turned into screaming banshees in the last half hour of a very long, tiring, hot day and I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than spend another minute trying not to scream does not mean I wish my children were at school/nursery or that I worked fulltime…! I often remind him that he’s not always 100% satisfied and content being a teacher - sometimes he comes home wanting to throw in the towel and emigrate. That doesn’t mean he’s not a devoted, brilliant and inspiring teacher!

I hope everyone has a wonderful time this holidays smile xx

That’s a lovely rule to live by, Sarah! smile It’s kind of something I try myself to reach out with kindness and not judgment but don’t always succeed!

I think some parents who are not used to having their LOs around do struggle to ‘know what to do with them’ in the long holidays. I was chatting to a mama on holiday in Spain last year. She was asking me about things to do with children in the local area as she said she was struggling to entertain her 1 year old. I mentioned a couple of things and she said they had already been. I was really surprised that she was looking for more things to do as her little boy was only 1, they were only there for a week and had every pool toy under the sun for him too! She went on to tell me that she worked full time and he was in nursery. I don’t know if the LO was used to non-stop activities so was asking for that or if she just felt she needed to do lots of things like at nursery but it gave me an idea of how some parents feel when they’re not used to it.

And yes I find England in general very anti-child :(

Charlotte x

Home-Edding, BFing, Co-sleeping, Carrying & Cloth-nappying Gentle Mama to Lovely Leo (Apr 07) and Beautiful Ella (Mar 12)

Genuine question here…..I’m quite shocked at how many of you think England (I assume most of you are in England?) is anti-child.  Would anyone care to elaborate on reasons and what you think could be done to make it more child friendly?

Muslim mum of four, home educating, environmental hypocrite (but doing my best) hodge podging through this life…..

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