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my daughter who is neary 4 has al of a sudden become tv obsessed. she was never that bothered by it and while we didnt limit it specifcally it just wasnt watched that much. al of a sudden she needs it on….constantly, shes very bright and draws from the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to bed. we go out and things like all normal people do but its becoming stressful when she c=screams and meltsdown when i turn the tv off. im not sure what to do about this. my husband thinks we should just get rid of the tv as an end to the drama as he hates having a tv anyway. but in honesty i DO feel a bit guilty about doing that. i like watching a film and so does she. its just how OFTEN she wants it on. its eating into her wanting to play and be creative, any ideas on this?

would it be devastaing if we did get rid?

If I could i would get rid of our tv….we all enjoy watching films but if it wasn’t there I wouldn’t miss it much. However my dh enjoys watching films and the children like watching scoooby doo so the tv stays! X

Unschooling Mama to River (7), Rain (4) and Blossom (2) xx

i love the ideal of no tv but to be honest it has its uses..home edding means zero time to make phone calls/ do householdy stuff so i use it when i need to get a bit of a break..but its on my terms only..if the kids nag theres no tv at all. and if they screamed at me when i turned it off there would be a ban too! on a sat morning if they are quiet in the morning and let us lie in then they get some tv..otherwise its maybe a couple of sessions in the week at most. although i dont mind some mindless cbeebies (thats about their level, they are too sensitive for disney films) i find i’m more comfortable with them having tv if i think they are getting something out of it so i choose dvd carefully..they have a muzzy french one and a jolly phonics one and they really enjoyed the ‘Africa’ series..i’m looking at getting some more stuff that feels a bit more ‘educational’..i was going to start the thread actually to get some more ideas..thats reminded me to do it!
would a timer help? or more boundaries/agreements when its turned as to when its going to go off..like maybe ‘you can 3 episodes of ‘whatever’ and then it goes of and we’ll have a biscuit and a story’

mummyk

happy mummy at last to DD born March 2006..and DS born sept 2007..wonderful fabulous gifts. living as green as possible but always striving to be better!home edding and loving it!

LETS no 116

We have just got rid of our tv and it is the best thing we have done, not for everyone but for us. The boys started wanting it on more and more and then the melt downs. I was also finding it easy to say put it on when I needed to do something or just needed a break. I hate tv. I hate how it can zap up your time if you are not careful. I hate the noise of the tv being on when others are watching it and I am not. So when dh took the boys out one afternoon I moved it out of the lounge and changed it around. Dh was happier even though he looked very dubious about the removal of the tv in the first place. Everything just seems calmer. The lounge is a nicer place to be in and that is compared to when the tv was off. The boys watch films and programs on the laptop but they just don’t ask anywhere near as much.

we got rid of our tv a year ago, i didn’t like the advertising and I didn’t like the kids just couldn’t see ‘an end’ to it if you know what I mean? They watch dvd’s or movies on youtube sometimes, or they sometimes ‘play’ starfall.com or topmarks.com their screen time is now much more regulated as they can clearly see that a film has finished or whatever. I am a single parent so I do use screen time once a day to give myself a wee break or to get dinner made in peace, but I also have strict rules about when they can do screen time, i.e. after school and home work and a snack and then only for an hour. It’s useful though if I’m sick or very tired and then I let it go a bot more but I really notice a marked difference in their behaviour and also their sleep if they watch too much or too late. Perhaps a compromise would be to just move the tv to somewhere else (perhaps your room or another spare room) or you could cover it so that it is just not in plain sight.
I’m sure you’ll find whatever suits your family best,
hugs Laura x

We don’t have a TV but we do let the kids use the computer to put Cbeebies on.  They do it themselves after I’ve got them to the iPlayer page.  I’ve put parental locks on so they can only watch kids stuff or really boring adult stuff!  They are only interested in CBeebies, Cbeebies games and Deadly 60.  We do get meltdowns so I say “After this is finished, we are turning it off”  or they know now that we can find most things again so we can always get back to the same point if it’s something they are interested in.

I wouldn’t be without some screen time, some of the time.  My 2 are so full on, I’m not sure I’d cope!

Try telling her the TV needs a rest or he gets to hot and breaks down, I used to do this and it did work for a while…

My two are also real screen junkies, they’d watch forever if I didn’t switch it off, and they’re 10 and 12! I sometimes wonder what would happen if I just let them watch as long as they liked, how long they would watch! But never been that brave - or patient! So we have a general rule of 1 hour screen time per day. I don’t always remember to reinforce that, so that’s when they watch longer. But it’s the rule I fall back on. And they can protest whatever they like, off is off (yes, I’m mean wink ). I think it;s a two-part thing. Not only do i not want them watching telly for ages, like zombies, but it’s also about living within boundaries of what’s good for you, or learning to. I believe in everything in moderation, have a little of what you like, and turning the tv off after an hour is part of that. Hopefully my girls will learn that along the process. Although writing this down, logically that doesn’t make sense. I think I’ll need to add something here, to help them set their own boundaries eventually.

So in my view getting rid of the telly wouldn’t teach them anything. It would make it more desirable, and if given the chance they might want to watch it even more. So I would explain every time after the timed tv allowance was up, why the thing is being turned off, explain once, and then let them get on with the tantrum or protest. I would say: ‘I understand you want to watch more tv, but you’ve had some and that’s enough for you for today. Now it;s time to go and do something else. There will be more tv tomorrow. It’s ok to be cross, but I’m just getting on with my jobs and I’ll be there for a cuddle or a play when you’re ready.’

So it sounds like you don’t really want to get rid of the tv, but you do want to lose the tantrums. Would it help to have a very clear rule about watching tv, i.e. how long for and when, so your daughter knows exactly what to expect, and it’s the same everyday. That way it will make it easier for her to work with, whinging or tantrums won’t change anything, so not worth doing. For us, it’s about an hour of tv, after school or in the afternoon.

Love, Sunshinexx

Sunshine
CARPE DIEM!

(Lets number 63)

RachelN - 09 September 2013 08:12 PM

Try telling her the TV needs a rest or he gets to hot and breaks down, I used to do this and it did work for a while…

I LIKE THAT! thats a great idea.

There is no where to move the tv as our house is tiny so its in the living room or nowhere. Im still very much consdiering it being put in a cupboard though x

We’ve never had tv for many reasons but I can see the trouble of never ending children’s TV, it certainly causes problems when we visit others. In “our day” kids TV was a couple hours an afternoon so it had a natural end and for that reason I much prefer DVDs. It’s down side is that of course then they sit down and watch a screen for over an hour at a time, but we’ve negotiated to every other day (I would much rather never!) and it has a natural end, a completion….which is about as Waldorfy as I can have it wink

? We must live with hearts wide open, hearts wildly open ?

Wild glamping in the mountains of southern Spain ... http://wildsierraglamping.simpl.com/

We don’t watch live tv , so don’t pay for a licence , we only watch Netflix and catch up , my kids are 15,12 and 9 so restricting them is abit harder :(

Sunshine you have made such a good point there…we were without a tv until J was about 1 I think, then DH wanted one again and ever since I’ve wanted to be without it and would happily get rid of it right this minute, but actually, it *would* make it more desirable, whereas keeping it but guiding children about ‘enough’ is so important, as it is with everything. We can’t receive live tv so DS watches dvd’s and iplayer.Thank you! xx

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