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I don’t know what is the matter with me today/recently but I cannot seem to be the ‘fun’ mummy I want to be :( I don’t really know how to explain this but I’m trying I really am to set up activities to encourage the children’s creativity etc but I keep getting cross with them. They seem to be fighting today which doesn’t help, can’t help feeling it’s my fault as I keep loosing it with them over every little thing - eg not putting shoes in the cupboard when we get in, shouting demanding food, which seems like constantly etc etc.
I know I need some structure around here, ie to keep the place tidy and for in turn for me to feel motivated to get things set up for them the night before instead of stressing all day long that they are only watching TV or asking for food etc while I try to keep on top on housework and meals.
Honestly do any of you ‘do’ stuff with your children at home where you set stuff up and if so what? I’m a creatiove person but now feel lost!
IWe are out regularly meeting up with friends in parks etc so they have lots of fun, just can’t get the feelings that I’m not doing enough out of my head. Doesn’t help when I hear about their schooled friends being so happy/well behaved etc. Mine just seem to winge all the time!
Saying that they are playing fine now!!
Hope that makes some sense!?
Mummy to DS born March 08 and DD born July 2010
GP Lets No 119
I feel guilty about this but there seems to be two schools of thought. One you should be doing things with them or two you should leave them to get on with it. I am more the two type of mother, I do suggest things sometimes if they seem really bored. My dd is easy as long as she has a lot of craft material on hand she just gets on with it just asks me for help now and again or I might just join in if the mood takes me. My ds is harder but he is a little older (7) but once he finds something to do he will settle with it for a while. I have to say that since reorganising / decluttering the whole of the downstairs while on holiday the housework is easier to keep on top of and so much easier to find things to do so now I am in processing of declutting the upstairs but it is a much harder task due to piles of clothes / toys but I can see how doing it leaves more time in the long run as the cleaning is so much easier. Have you read Simplicity Parenting it is a great book.
With dd and ds1 I felt I needed to provide activities for them. I succeeded fine with dd but once ds1 came along it all went to pot! I found it impossible, feeling only that I could just about get through the day, never mind provide activities. It didn’t help that ds1 wasn’t in to craft stuff so if we didn’t go out then they’d be wandering around bored or arguing or watching too much TV!
Now I have #3 ds2 had no choice but to get on with it as I really don’t have a lot of spare time to play/set up things as housework/washing etc for five of us takes up so much time.
Today went particularly well (rare) so I left him to play on the decking (within view) while I cleared the table (which took an age!) And then gave him some paint and paper while I washed up. When he’d finished I filled a bowl and let him play with the water so that he washed his hands at the same time while I quickly swept the kitchen floor… And then I used his water to wash the floor! Today he stood at the table but usually I put an old towel on the floor with the bowl on it and normally most of the water gets all over the floor so I just use the old towel to mop it up while managing to clean the floor at the same time!
Other things he does is wash up while I’m doing something else. Or help me pick the tomatoes in the garden. He’s only little so these things amuse him still… I know it might not for older children…
That sounds like I do lots with him… I really don’t. Today was a rare occurrence. Normally he potters around while I get on with jobs… Unless I take him out… Which is either shopping!! Or once or twice a week we see friends. Xx
mummy to dd(15), ds1(12) and ds2 (5)
LETS number 144
The biggest compliment anyone can pay me is ‘your daughter plays so well on her own’. Indeed, it completely validates my laissez faire approach to parenting. We so go out most mornings either to a playgroup, or two mornings she has jardin des enfants (which is quite ‘earthy’ as my friend put it). I do maybe one organised activity a week but that’s around what I need to do eg baking biscuits because I need biscuits, making bread because I need bread! She helps put washing on the line, and if I’m cooking dinner she’s always welcome to help with that. My mum said that her one piece of childcare advice was not to treat your kids as though you’re running a nursery. I think she has a great imagination and comes up with her own stuff. Winter is harder than summer!