Issue 91 is out now

Welcome to The Green Parent Forum

A place where you can chat to like-minded parents, form new friendships, share ideas, events and recipes. Use the search tool to find a wealth of information from the past 10 years of forum discussions. Register today and become part of our supportive community.

This morning I popped on Facebook and what should come up on my feed but an article about Sinead O’Conner writing an open letter to Miley Cyrus about her appalling new video. I umm’ed and rrrr’d as I wanted to see for my self what this world has come to, but I didn’t want the video to get more views, in the end I watched it….

It has to be one of the worst music videos I have EVER seen! I actually felt sick while I was skipping through it, it just got worse and worse. This young woman, who many young girls have grown up aspiring to is now behaving in a way that shows she has no self-respect at all, in a world where it is already hard enough to be a young woman if you don’t ‘look’ the way the media portray women to look having these so called ‘role models’ behaving in this way has to be damaging to the girls who have grown up with her as a house hold name.

My little sister grew up watching her on television and now I think it’s no wonder she behaves the way she does when the media (magazines, television, music videos etc etc) portrays these women in the way they do and also these women allow themselves to be portrayed in that way.

Just really upset me and I didn’t know where else I could have a rant and it be understood.

Mommy of a gorgeous little boy born Nov 2012

http://florenceandh.wordpress.com/ My new blog, mainly for my husband to see our adventures

mad  couldnt agree more…..would put up a clapping hands smiley but there isnt one! x

This post: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2013/08/the-lesson-of-the-2013-mtv-vmas-being-sexual-while-female-is-worse-than-being-rapey-or-racist.html gave me pause for thought on the whole Miley Cyrus thing.

Do bear in mind that she is a *young* woman who has grown up in the media spotlight, and has been effectively brought up by record companies and media producers. She actually has very little say over her image, and we should be careful of vilifying women who are being manipulated and abused by media mogals (almost invariably men) .

I wonder whether there would be more sympathy for women acting in pornography or prostitutes, where the misoginistic influences are more obvious….

Also - pop/media stars are *not* role models. They are (sadly) commodities. You can choose to buy in, or you can choose not to, but you can’t really complain that children are treating them as role models if they have unrestricted, uninformed access to what is a massive sales pitch by media moguls. There are many, many amazing women who could be considered role models, but a pop/TV star is not a role model.

ETA: “also these women allow themselves to be portrayed in this way” - really? REALLY? Is victim blaming OK now? Would we say something like that about a victim of rape or domestic abuse? If someone is brought up as a child star in the media spotlight, HOW can we expect them to break free of the people who have had a pernicious influence over them for their *whole lives*! I believe it takes an average DV victim about 7 attempts to get away from their abuser. The same for addicts entering rehab. WHY should we expect child stars to be able to escape their abusers any more easily - if anything it’s likely to be harder with the eyes of the world on them!

Angie

http://www.etsy.com/shop/WashedUpFamily Sea Glass Jewellery from the beautiful South Coast[/color]

http://washedupfamily.blogspot.co.uk/

http://www.etsy.com/shop/NannieCool , http://nanniecool.yolasite.com Nannie Cool - for beautiful slings, playsilks, toys, nappy wraps and accessories made by Grace’s Nannie. All designs are “Approved by Grace”

http://bournemouthattachmentparents.blogspot.com/

I agree with you Angie. I’m not really following the whole Miley Cyrus thing, but yes, she (and people like her) are not role models, and also they are selling a product. This is not who they are, this is their job. And it’s controlled by big money, mostly men.

This young women has grown up in a very weird world, and you wonder what that has done to her personality. Would she make the same judgements now if she hadn’t played Hannah Montana from a very young age? I can’t blame her for this at all. But I do feel sorry for her. Very sorry.

Love, Sunshinexx

Sunshine
CARPE DIEM!

(Lets number 63)

This is very interesting actually, because instinctively I would have agreed with much of what you posted Florence and H, however the link Angie posted gave me more pause for thought.

I recently saw the Harmony Korine film ‘spring breakers’ which stars Selena Gomez and thought that it was a great career choice for her. The film itself is very graphic and provocative, however Gomez’s role manages to be part of this whilst remaining very innocent and true to herself. It allows her to be part of a very adult film whilst maintaining her ‘innocent’ public persona. It’s also a brave move for her because much of her target audience would not be viewing this.

Miley seems to be in sharp contrast, acting out every child star turned adult stereotype. I would have thought that her parents, having lived in the spotlight before Miley’s success, would have protected her more. Miley is def a commodity but she’s also a wealthy, successful young woman who may or may not agree with being called a victim. We will have to wait for her autobiography in twenty years time to find out!

Unschooling Mama to River (7), Rain (4) and Blossom (2) xx

I thought the song was great, and there are moments in the video, (mostly the later facial close-ups where she is just spectacular), but the rest of the video seems a little… I don’t know… “Hey guys! Look at me! Do you guys like me yet?! Can… Can I stop this now?”

Blue-haired crunchy Mama to Ru (5 yrs), Pixie Willow (3 years) and Baby Gaia (7 months).

Check out the new MamaPixie.com

MamaPixie on ETSY!

MamaPixie on FACEBOOK!

I’m surprised actually, by some of the language Sinead O’Connor uses. I thought she was a bit of a feminism icon (goes to show - role models again! wink ) but using language like “allowing yourself to be exploited” and “allowing yourself to be pimped”. Nobody *chooses* to be exploited and pimped - they are forced into it by situation, violence or emotional abuse.

She also talks about not allowing daughters to go naked into a “dangerous world” because it makes the “prey for animals” - again, what’s with the victim blaming? Sure, we might not choose to walk around naked, but actually we should be free to do so *without* fearing what “animals” (which she later confirms that she means men) will attack us.

Ahh well…

Angie

http://www.etsy.com/shop/WashedUpFamily Sea Glass Jewellery from the beautiful South Coast[/color]

http://washedupfamily.blogspot.co.uk/

http://www.etsy.com/shop/NannieCool , http://nanniecool.yolasite.com Nannie Cool - for beautiful slings, playsilks, toys, nappy wraps and accessories made by Grace’s Nannie. All designs are “Approved by Grace”

http://bournemouthattachmentparents.blogspot.com/

I think Miley might be a lot more savvy than we think she is.

Really interesting thread and yes what a hideous video!  But what Angie says is spot on. I have zero time for Miley Cyrus. I think she is not very talented and part of of something much larger which is predictably misogynistic and dull. But it’s not MC who is the problem.  IxX

Unschooling Mama to Ava (2) and Ezra (due April), living and parenting as mindfully as possible.

http://www.avaandthesnowman.wordpress.com

MamaMake, handmade whimsy - http://www.facebook.com/MamaMakeUK

Well, I feel like I’ve just woken up in some kind of nightmare after watching that, and the awards thing too!
Im really oblivious on the whole to all this- its an eye opener!
Hard to watch it without judging her personally as she cavorts and behaves in such a shocking way, but as you’ve said she and all women like Rhianna etc are a product of what is frightful ( im honestly freaked out bu what ive seen) and by its very inclusion in such arenas as national awards - portrayed as acceptable and common place.
How any of this media hype fails to question the basic premise of exploitation here baffles me.
When I first read this thread I felt it a little over the top the way some of you responded describing her as a victim but after what I’ve just seen its made me feel sick. sure she is misgiuded and im sure, from the way she has personaly responded to the comments about her that she feels this was her choice to go down this route. when we are force fed her ‘hater’ style remarks we feel more sure of her disregard for women and how women feel let down by such behviour.
The truth is that the objectification of women has become so pervasive in our media and the MTV world that children are susceptible to.
This is a bigger issue than one girl- only hyped up to this degree as she’s deemed as falling from grace from the dizzy heights of Disney merchandising.
I struggle to feel sympathy for her, I know that’s very unfair given the fact that she is probably in no state to make judgments that aren’t clouded by the male domination of the world she has grown up in.
All I know is I would make very sure not to let my boy watch anything like this and teach him well that when ever he comes across this type of image/ video/ media debate that there’s more than what’s on the surface. Manipulation and exploitation! It’s not just the women either its in the lyrics of men- outright sexist objectification that serves to make young and vulnerable women feel the way to impress is to lose our own strength and power as human beings and roll over and shake our asses!
In honesty lovely ladies, this is the sort of post that usually gets me thinking but would never get me writing as its obviously contentious but this time I just had to let it all out!!!

Clare
Mummy to William, Beltane baby born 1st May 2010. Finding my way as a natural mummy respecting baby and the world we live in.

My blog!! http://hawthornfaery.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1

all I meant was I am sick of so much overtly sexual behaviour being the norm, and she seems to go over the top, no offence or comments meant on other people but just she should be better advised or aware of the impact her behaviour has on young people….god I never meant anything else, sorry if I caused offence.

For me, the way that she feels the need to justify it and “assure” everyone just how much of her idea it is, further re-inforces how deeply she is entrenched in the misoginistic and sexually-charged culture that is the music industry. It makes her more of a victim, not less. If she had any glimmer of self-awareness, she might see what the industry is doing to her, but she has been force-fed a pack of misoginistic lies since she was tiny - she pretty much has Stockholm Syndrome.  Just because *she* believes she has a free choice over her actions, doesn’t make her any less of a puppet of the media tycoons :(

Also, I know the original post was about her own video, but as the awards ceremony thing has been mentioned a couple of times, it does rile me somewhat that even here, a woman performing explicit dancing gets more “air time” than a man singing about *rape*! If we hold our female pop stars to standards befitting role models to our daughters, what about this man with his abhorrent lyrics? Is it ok for him to be a role model to our sons?

Angie

http://www.etsy.com/shop/WashedUpFamily Sea Glass Jewellery from the beautiful South Coast[/color]

http://washedupfamily.blogspot.co.uk/

http://www.etsy.com/shop/NannieCool , http://nanniecool.yolasite.com Nannie Cool - for beautiful slings, playsilks, toys, nappy wraps and accessories made by Grace’s Nannie. All designs are “Approved by Grace”

http://bournemouthattachmentparents.blogspot.com/

This has just reminded and re unforced to me how things written on forums in comparrison to face to face conversations can be mis interpreted, and its not the first time.  I will not get into a long battle about it, my first post was a reaction to something that shocked and upset me, I think I shall be taking a break from the forum for a while to re evaluate whether it is a place I want to share my thoughts, I have noticed on some other treads simlar things that made me wonder whether it is somewhere I want to share but thank you for your thoughts.

Mommy of a gorgeous little boy born Nov 2012

http://florenceandh.wordpress.com/ My new blog, mainly for my husband to see our adventures

Hmm, I know a lot of females who have made similar decisions and took similar actions and view them to be carefully chosen and empowering for themselves and others. I don’t know wher I stand on MC being “used and abused” by the whole industry, I see girls doing this through choice over and over because they think it’s fun, and because they see the male as being stupid enough to fall for their behaviour and give them what they want at that moment in time. A whole swathe of females see their bodies as a commodity and use it to try and get to where they want to be. I don’t know whether MC is making this decision consciously or not. I’m old enough to remember when Madonna burst onto the scene and the shock ripples she created amongst the mainstream and feminism. And yes, I know MC is far more OTT with it than Madonna was but times change and Madonna was way more controversial than MC and she has always stated it was her chosen path to fame and fortune, that she wasn’t coerced…..

Florence and h don’t let this keep you from the forums- it’s just opinions and I think there’s been a mix here.
Xx

Clare
Mummy to William, Beltane baby born 1st May 2010. Finding my way as a natural mummy respecting baby and the world we live in.

My blog!! http://hawthornfaery.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1

Jordan/Katie Price being another who springs to mind. She states that she made the decisions on how and where her career progressed, and it was through a very provocative route. I wonder if she was coerced by the male dominated industry or whether she feels she used her own “talent” to force her way in and have them eating from her hand….

Share this with friends

Recent Posts