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Hi everyone,

I have no idea what to do. :(

Our 3 year old boy shouts and screams and makes all sorts of noises when we talk. He requires so much our attention that even playing with him all day doesn’t seem enough. It got so bad now that we no longer invite any friends over as E’s screaming is so loud we can’t talk.
He is also very strange little person as he very rarely plays with toys. I have never met a child like that, I find engaging him in anything to do is almost impossible most of the time. Very frustrating.  He loves anything to do with telephones and spent all day repeating the same thing over and over….:(

I love our little boy very much but I am exhausted now. Could anyone help please?

Thanks xxx

hi zuzi,how is his speech?i know you said he shouts but is his speech clear?could it be a prob with his hearing?as for repetitive playing,most of my boys(i have 5) at that age went thro a stage where they were obsessed with something,be it tractors/diggers,a particular book,or my youngest…veg!yes he’s a little odd too, for shouting a trick we found worked,talk to him really quietly almost a whisper,it does make them stop and listen,as 1 they cant really hear you,2 they wonder what the hek mums doing,sometimes think its a game and follow suit,or just copy you.good luck x

LETS no42

Hi rainbomama, thank you so much for your reply. I only just realised how depressing the post sounded. smile.
His speech is ok actually. Well, considering he is bilingual he is not doing too bad. He did start to speak quite late though. We have tried to whisper too and it doesn’t work unfortunately. He just carrys on. smile. I know it is all about not getting his 100% attention at that particular moment. I think I spoiled him with my time when I had just him as I was SAHM and had all the time in the world for him. Now he has to share it with his little sister and he finds it a bit hard. I just wish he was a bit more quiet smile.
Wow, 5 boys! You must be one of those super mums. So unlike me. I love children, but I couldn’t possibly manage more than 2 at the same time. Thanks again xxx

Hello Zuzi,

I meant to reply to this post when I first read it, but it was a busy time for me.  Hope you are still reading!

Bilingual children do often start speaking later, so that’s no cause for concern, but some of the other behaviours you describe—e.g. being difficult to engage, and repeating the same thing over and over again—have me wondering if there isn’t some larger issue at play here.  A hearing deficiency *could* be an explanation for the shouting, but not for some of the other things.  Would you be against discussing this with a paediatrician or an early childhood specialist of some sort?  I am not of the mindset that every child needs to hit XYZ milestones by whatever age, but I do think that sometimes an expert opinion can help, whether or not you decide to take their advice afterwards.

Just a question: what would you say the general noise level in your house is?  Does your son get any screen time, and if so, what does he watch?  Could you try and gradually reduce stimulation levels and see if it has any effect?

My daughter has never played with toys much—she’ll be 5 in June—but she does enjoy a lot of other activities (reading, drawing/painting, baking, playing outside) and I would not describe her as “difficult to engage.”  She has a lot of interests, and she craves interaction with people, but just doesn’t get all that excited about toys.  I’ve actually posted about that here before.  I found that if I left her alone, she was (and still is!) much more likely to just sit “doing nothing” than to play with her toys, but the other mamas on here confirmed what my instinct was telling me anyway—that it was fine, and that when children appear to be doing nothing, they’re daydreaming, using their imaginations.  It’s difficult to know, from your post, if that’s what’s going on with your boy—I suppose I am saying that it would be difficult for anyone on this list to dispense advice with so little information.  But I did want to reach out to you, lest you think nobody read or cared about your message!

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