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Is anybody else here in the middle of trying for a baby? Not sure if this forum is the right place for it, but thought it might be nice to have somewhere to chat about the ups and downs?

Previously Teenageearthmummy

Homeschooling mama to BB - 7!! and 5 angels in heaven * * * * *
http://www.facebook.com/dizzyknits

I am grin Three chemical pregnancies in the last year and still trying. Everything for me works but DH has severe ceaolic and for some reason whenever he has a reaction his sperm quality drops dramatically. In an ideal world this is easily fixed by controlling his diet but he can have a reaction from someone dipping a milky spoon into a coffee pot and he then using the coffee pot to make coffee. And the children are very good but not exactly helpful when trying to reducing cross contamination. So will probably be trying for a while.

Learning from my beautiful daughters everyday

We do not own the world, we borrow it for a while from our children

:( DS is gluten intolerant, so I know how hard it is to avoid contamination. Gluten is EVERYWHERE, and when you’re sensitive, it affects every part of you. With it taking 3 months start to finish to make new sperm, it’s no wonder you’re not having any luck :(

Showing my ignorance here, but I didn’t know Coeliacs react to milk aswell

Previously Teenageearthmummy

Homeschooling mama to BB - 7!! and 5 angels in heaven * * * * *
http://www.facebook.com/dizzyknits

Depends on how severe the coeliac is - my dh developed it in response to an auto immune illness so is very sensitive. He’s just had a reaction so that’s December before we have a chance :-( My two dds were unplanned and I never had this longing for a baby or the sense of time passing. I was very young when I had my girls with my ex and it was all so horrible and now I’m in a stable place in a relationship with a supportive person and I cannot have a baby. I want a pregnancy that I can enjoy and early baby years that aren’t clouded by a damaging relationship.

Sorry if thats a bit down - we haven’t been able to try over the summer as DH has been in Edinburgh working at the Fringe for the past 4 weeks and now that’s another three months. I’ve reached that age where literally all of my friends are marrying and having babies and it makes it all so hard.

Learning from my beautiful daughters everyday

We do not own the world, we borrow it for a while from our children

It is hard to watch everybody else do it so easily. We’ve been ttc 4 years and in that time we’ve watched some of our friends have 2 or 3 babies :/

I had DS very young too and my ex ended up being a nutter. I thought marrying DH was a fresh start and I was going to get my happily-ever-after but 4 years and 4 losses later it turns out to not be that simple :(

Previously Teenageearthmummy

Homeschooling mama to BB - 7!! and 5 angels in heaven * * * * *
http://www.facebook.com/dizzyknits

Sounds like you’re in a similar position to me. It feels totally unfair to me that a man like my ex who is a s***t father can make children without trying but my wonderfully kind and patient DH cannot. We’ve got an appointment with the fertility clinic a week tomorrow but it will be the usual inconclusive - as I have children we are not eligible for any help on the NHS so I don’t really know why we bother but with DHs other problems we prefer to co operate with doctors.

My daughters teacher announced she is 20 weeks pregnant today. So my best friend is due baby three on Saturday, my older sis had her baby in June and two of DHs sisters are having babies at Christmas time. DD1 asked if we were going to have another baby and I said not. But its so hard.

My last ‘chemical’ (by my dates actual miscarriage - I reckon I was 6 weeks) was in Feb and for whatever reason has left me with a slightly swollen womb. I look early pregnant basically, I’ve been scanned and had a uterus dye test and there is nothing physically wrong. My body has basically just gone through too many hormonal changes in a short space of time. But everytime I catch myself in the mirror I think if only. And my youngest daughter keeps asking.

Sigh - period due on Thursday so this is mostly PMT blues. Another wasted month,

Learning from my beautiful daughters everyday

We do not own the world, we borrow it for a while from our children

(hug) I’m sorry you’re going through so much.

AF is just finishing up here, but I have irregular cycles so this is going to be another long month. We’ve found out that our issues are mostly due to me having a load of scar tissue from an infection after our 3rd miscarriage when we lost twins in 2011. I also possibly have PCOS and DH has some borderline male issues, but the adhesions are our biggest problem. I’m having surgery to hopefully fix it in November but between now and then it feels like we’re wasting our time even trying because it isn’t going to work.

Previously Teenageearthmummy

Homeschooling mama to BB - 7!! and 5 angels in heaven * * * * *
http://www.facebook.com/dizzyknits

Waiting for an operation is hard :-( I hope the operation is a success for you. I totally sympathise with the wasting time. I’m struggling at the moment to separate sex and conceiving - sex use to be fun and now its just feels like well why bother when it produces nada.

Learning from my beautiful daughters everyday

We do not own the world, we borrow it for a while from our children

Hi, I hope you don’t mind me jumping in.

I’m a coeliac and milk intolerant AND when TTC my first I was contending with very long, very irregular cycles.  It was a massively frustrating time.  I ended up having acupuncture with a lady who specialised in women’s reproductive issues - I started charting my cycles (she asked me to do this) and although my cycles were still long, I did manage to conceive.  Some of the things she mentioned which rung true at the the time:

Stress - this can suppress your cycle
‘Weak’ blood - turns out I was borderline anaemic (I’d seen the GP for a blood work-up to check various bits and bobs; he called me after the session when my acupuncturist described my blood as ‘weak’)
Poor diet - too much sugar, not enough fluids

I sat down with this information and worked through everything, reducing stress levels and finding time and space to relax…..I started taking Spatone to help strengthen my blood…..I went 100% home cooked food from scratch;  organic meat, fruit, veg and fish.  Sugar was a no-no and I reduced my caffeine intake to two cups of tea a day.  Every other drink was water or herbal tea.  It was tough for the first week or so but it soon got easier.  I took pre-prepared food to work and a thermos of herbal tea.  I did take a lot in terms of organisation and this in itself could be stressful, but I felt better and stronger and had loads more energy. 

I can’t say for sure that any of the above helped or not.  It took two cycles after starting both the acupuncture and diet/lifestyle changes for me to conceive, bearing in mind this took over three months because of the length of my cycles.  I understand there are other issues going on - I do think overall diet and health are really important for both parties - a friend of mine had very severe PCOS and conceived after many years of trying after seeing a naturopath and following a very strict diet.  Just some ideas.  I am very lucky to have two children now but I remember so very clearly the pain, frustration and heartache of not being able to conceive. 

Best wishes

x

Thanks Birdsong - I’m not sure how much applies to men? There is very little information out there and we are really struggling to find info. One study my husband found suggested that coelic in men can lead to chemical pregnancies and after three I’m not sure if I can bear another one. I get very ill in pregnancy anyway and know pretty much from implantation that I’m pregnant as the nausea starts so I’ve known with each chemical and found it emotionally very hard. If there is a link then I just don’t feel I can continue trying but as I said its hard to find conclusive information from which to make an informed decision.

DH does have a very stressful job that I guess won’t help. His diet is pretty good as his intolerantance is very bad and I make everything for him from scratch - he doesn’t have a sweet tooth so barely eats any sugar. He’s cut out soya and caffinee as he thinks that may help.

Learning from my beautiful daughters everyday

We do not own the world, we borrow it for a while from our children

Hi there,

First of all, just wanted to send huge hugs as I know from my own experience how hard all this can be and how it can so easily take over your life. Have to absolutely agree with Birdsong, as this was our first step. Before considering IVF, we just decided to improve our lifestyles.  Both of us started going to the gym and generally taking better care of ourselves. Appreciate the gym isn’t for everyone, but even yoga, walking, swimming - just anything to improve your general health and well being. Looked at stress and genuinely ‘switching off’ after work, and concentrated on improving our diet, reducing caffeine and general lifestyle. As far as men go, selenium and zinc were recommended as they can help improve fertility.  Holland and Barrett often have these on offer! We were also advised that alcohol and smoking can also have an impact upon fertility. This wasn’t an issue for us, but know it can be for others. As suggested earlier, I too began taking spatone, which I added to fresh orange every morning, as the vitamin C helps your body to absorb the iron. I’m vegetarian, and whilst I eat well generally, I did feel so much better as I started taking this.

Think there is a lot to be said for the stress of TTC, as we basically decided, after 18 months, to stop trying and just accept it may never happen…..3 months later I fell pregnant with twins. Thinking I’d been blessed with 2, so was unlikely to have anymore, I then fell pregnant again 8 months after giving birth to my twins. This also happened with my sister in law who went through IVF, and fell pregnant after 3 attempts. Then naturally conceived 3 years later, without trying.

Appreciate everyone is different, but just thought I’d share, as I know how it feels.

Sending all my love your way

xxxx

We did the whole life style changes thing but after 4 years we’ve got discouraged and annoyed, so we have let all those things slip. Although it isn’t going to fix our issues, I really do need to work on this some more so that when I get my surgery, I’m as healthy as possible for if I can get pregnant afterwards.

My op date has been moved to October 30th, which seems so much closer! Kind of nervous because this really is make or break for us. It will either work or it won’t, and it’s our last option.

Previously Teenageearthmummy

Homeschooling mama to BB - 7!! and 5 angels in heaven * * * * *
http://www.facebook.com/dizzyknits

Not been on the forum for a while due to illness. Stripey how did the op go?

Learning from my beautiful daughters everyday

We do not own the world, we borrow it for a while from our children

I haven’t been on either smile

I didn’t get the surgery in the end because 10 days before we found out I’m pregnant! It was a complete shock; a proper little miracle.

I’m 7 weeks tomorrow, and have my first midwife appointment in the morning, and a scan on the 18th. We’re still oscillating between disbelief, joy and being point blank terrified.

Previously Teenageearthmummy

Homeschooling mama to BB - 7!! and 5 angels in heaven * * * * *
http://www.facebook.com/dizzyknits

A big congrats Stripey!!!

Muslim mum of four, home educating, environmental hypocrite (but doing my best) hodge podging through this life…..

im pregnant too! Due in june and HG has kicked in with a vegance so i am stuck in bed. Will be all worth it tho.
Congrats grin

Learning from my beautiful daughters everyday

We do not own the world, we borrow it for a while from our children

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