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My baby boy will be 3 in April. He’s growing up so quickly! Today he asked to sleep in ds1’s room for a sleep over (dd is joining them too) as this is the room he will be in eventually sharing with ds1. I’m laying in bed without him next to me/in my tummy for the first time since he was conceived (except one night when I was away) and I feel so lost. Starting to wonder if that’s a bit unhealthy? I had attachment issues with my mum as a child and wonder whether it’s a bit to do with that - although didn’t feel like this with dd or dd1 who had their own rooms from 3mths old but still part co-slept till they were 4 or 5.

No idea if he’ll be back tomorrow night or if he’ll want to move permanently but I’m not ready. downer Would never stop him moving in there but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. Boo hoo! Know I’ll get used to it just as I’m starting to (reluctantly) get used to the fact that I can no longer carry him on my back. I’m just not ready for my baby to be a little boy yet but know i can’t stand in his way. *sob*.

Much love to you ........ I felt exactly the same with my DS#1 who slept with me until he was 3.
I felt as you do totally lost and was unprepared for this wrench which he was so happy to do.
I love the fact that we watch our babies develop and grow but just not so fast!
There us nothing ‘unhealthy’ about feeling like this at all - he’s your baby and always will be but we have to accept the fact that they are little people and little people grow. xx

Home Eding Mama of 2 gorgeous boys! Trying to live magically on this wild and crazy earth.

We had my son in bed with us full time until he was about 2 1/2 and then every night he’d join us half way through, with the odd night going all the way through in his own bed. He will be 3 in two weeks and the last 3 nights he has slept through in his own bed. Last night my hubby asked if I was ok, and I said I was feeling a bit lonely, and I’m sure part of that is down to losing my little hot water bottle ... sure he’ll be back from time to time though. Also feeling really broody at the moment, but we’re not having any more, so changes all round and I’m not so good with change. Hugs to you xxxx

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My two are 5.5 and nearly 2.5 and they’re still in with us, but I think about this day all the time already! I come from a culture where children routinely co-sleep until well into the primary school years, so I remember moving into my own room when I was about 10—now I think about what that must have felt like for my mum! But I think that once you’ve co-slept with a child for years, you tend to retain that physical closeness in some way—even when you’re not sharing a bed anymore, some small part of that comfort/ease with each other remains. At least I tell myself that grin . With my own 2 girls, I suspect they will move out together as they are really close and will want to be together in their own room and bed—I can’t see DD2 staying in our bed once her sister moves out. So it will be a very big change when it happens, and I’m bracing myself.

Well he woke up this morning at 5 in a big panic and today has told me he’s going to have a sleep over in mummy’s bed. grin  So maybe he’ll be in with me for a bit yet. But I hardly slept last night though so looking forward to snuggling up with him and sleeping tonight. xx

That’s lovely that he’ll be back in with you tonight Skye-Blu! Enjoy!

I wonder if I could slightly hijack (but it’s related) the post by saying my little girl and I have been co-sleeping for the past 13 months (since her birth). Sadly co-sleeping hasn’t worked at all for my husband so we are in separate beds. I adore co-sleeping but I also miss my husband and know we need to be back in the same bed soon-ish to nurture our relationship. So I am looking to settle Amelie in her room in the next few months. Anyone have experience of this sort of thing ie settling their little one into their own room at this age/before you feel totally ready?

I have loved co-sleeping, it’s made such a difference in so many ways.

Mum to two boys, Roan (Nov 08) and Jude (Oct 11) and a little girl, Amalie (Jan 14). Trying to parent as gently and lovingly as I can.

Hello Sara—might it be possible for your little girl to share a room with one of her brothers? Or, if the boys already share, can she go in with them, in a crib? I think being totally alone can be hard for a child who has co-slept. And it’s true that having a young toddler in their room might not work for all children, but you might not know until you’ve tried it—sometimes our kids can surprise us grin .

Thank you Preets that’s reassuring you say that as we are planning for her to share with our middle boy, I think they will both really like this.

Mum to two boys, Roan (Nov 08) and Jude (Oct 11) and a little girl, Amalie (Jan 14). Trying to parent as gently and lovingly as I can.

Aaaw, Skye-blue, feel for you! Suddenly you look at them and it’s -  wow! You grew up! How did that happen?!
But I envy you - we co-slept and dd was never a great sleeper from 8 weeks; at 14 months she still woke every 2 hours and *screamed* if I didn’t nurse her within seconds! my dh was ill from disturbed sleep, I was like a zombie, at 18 months we tried her in her own room and she slept through the night for the first time ever! For months I would wake in a panic because she hadn’t woken! Even now she doesn’t like me sleeping in her bed when she’s poorly, after 20 minutes or so she kicks me out!

Enjoy your snuggles smile

Yes, Sara, I hope it works out! I was thinking of our girls, who are always very certain that they are going to share a bed when they “grow up and move out of Mummy and Daddy’s room.” And I was also thinking of this post which I saw recently (but scroll down all the way to “Kids’ Room”):

The rest of the post did not feel very relevant to our lifestyle (except perhaps that wonderful art & craft area!), but the idea of 3 kids sharing a small room was lovely and reassuring.

Thanks Preets I loved the idea of a ribbon dangling down and the others grabbing to if awake!

Mum to two boys, Roan (Nov 08) and Jude (Oct 11) and a little girl, Amalie (Jan 14). Trying to parent as gently and lovingly as I can.

Sara, my older two had their own rooms from little but part co slept in that they went to bed in their cots in their rooms but both came in to use around midnight/early hours and stayed til morning. My dd did this til ds took her place when she was 3 and he was a few months old. (Eeek!) and then when they were around 3 and 5 they co slept with each other (they shared a room in bunk beds but whenever we came up to check on them they were always both snoozing in the same bed!! They did this right up til they were about 7 and 9! Now they’re nearly 10 and 12 they would never in a million years share a bed!! However, they do sometimes still have sleep overs in each others rooms which is nice. DD has said that when ds2 moves into ds1’s room properly she might move in for a while too. Although I doubt she will officially as she loves her own little room.

As for dh not in the same room as you… my DH has played musical beds for the past 12 years! He can sleep anywhere so he probably spends on average 4 or 5 nights a week in our bed. He can be in one of the children’s beds, or on the sofa, or on the floor in someone’s room! Ha ha!! Unlike me who can only sleep in my bed on my side - if I’m anywhere else I can’t sleep at all! DH slept permanently on the sofa at the later stages of all pregnancies, if one or more children want to sleep in with me he’ll go and get in their bed. Even though ds2 has his mattress wedged up to ours - his is a cot mattress so its lower than ours and being on his own he’s colder in there so he always scrambles in with me and I fidget and sigh and dh gets out and sleeps on the sofa. Ooops! But he’s not fussed doing that so it’s fine!

Ah Skye-Blu I love the idea of your older two sharing a bunk for all that time, that’s so lovely for them and for their bond! I bet your heart melted when you watched them snoozing together!

Thanks for sharing your experiences about you and DH with musical beds, it’s a bit like that here and we’re all doing ok except missing the sex and too knackered to do anything about it in early evenings wink

Mum to two boys, Roan (Nov 08) and Jude (Oct 11) and a little girl, Amalie (Jan 14). Trying to parent as gently and lovingly as I can.

This thread is so lovely! It’s so reassuring to know that other people co-sleep with older children too. DD is 9 now (how did that happen?!) and still ends up in our bed most nights. She sleep walks, and allowing her to come into our bed is the safest way we can think of to manage that. On the nights that she doesn’t join us, I wake up wondering where she is! Luckily, we have a huge bed with room for all 3 of us and the cat grin

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