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Hi all

I gave birth to a little baby boy on Thursday (a gentle and natural home birth, so I will write about it when I have some time) and all is going well with him. 

However, I have a 3 year old little girl who had been breastfeeding just at night (once at bedtime then first thing in the morning) before my ds was born, but now she wants to feed all the time.  A few months ago I thought she was on the verge of stopping but then she contracted chickenpox and started feeding more.   I expected her to start feeding more when the new baby came along, but I want to keep it under control and try and occassionally delay/discourage her gently if possible.  She's breastfeeding so much that it's spoiling her meal times (because she's not hungry).

Last night my ds slept most of the night and I was awake for hours feeding my dd !  I want to tread gently with her but I'm too tired to keep this up for too long.

Any advice would be very gratefully received !


Will pm you..

i have no idea sorry aprt from perhaps encouraging her to be a 'big' girl like giving her tasks or doing things with her and reinforcing the fact that the baby cant do those things and how great it is to be a big sister.
it is hard but i am sure she will self wean at some point !

when life gives you a rainy day play in the puddles !!!
mum to 4 sons 13,7,4 and 2
a daughter 8 years ,
and always in my heart my angel xx

Hi Lynne
I think a good starting point is distraction as much as possible and maybe pre-empting requests with a snack if you can, with plenty of pointing out that she can have lots of different things (thinking of all of her favourites) to eat, whereas her little brother can't yet, so he needs *lots* of bm (but she can sometimes too of course!).  She might respond well to 'yes later' or more specifically 'yes after lunch/tea/anything you chose' rather than 'not at the moment' iyswim (although you're probably doing that).
I hope it's calmed down a bit for you smile

HEing, BFing Mum to 2 gorgeous girls (K Oct03 and M June05)

Oops, meant to say the 'big girl' thing might help, but it can sometimes (depending on the child obviously) make them decide they'd rather not be a 'big girl' and would rather be a baby instead, so I would be a bit wary of that one, of course you'll know which way Ella'd be more likely to go smile

HEing, BFing Mum to 2 gorgeous girls (K Oct03 and M June05)

Perhaps pointing out babies in the wild (lion cubs, piglets etc) having 'boobie' and how as they get older how they have less, and eventually feed themselves.
i'm sure like most toddlers she's wanting to be fiercly independant, so perhaps allowing her to 'make' elements of her own food might be a good idea too…?

Thanks for all your thoughtful responses and suggestions…  Things seem to be settling down a bit - Ella came down with a cold the evening after I posted, so that seems to have contributed to the problem greatly.  Today she has still fed a lot during the day, but it's easier to say "yes you can have some milk, but it's lunch time now, so you can have some after".  She's also started holding Tom's hand while they have tandem fed, which is so heart warming.

The "big sister/girl" thing definitely makes her go in the opposite direction so I've asked people to play that down !

I have realised that my attitude is the biggest problem - I need to see things from Ella's perspective more and try to be more understanding of her needs.  Not easy at 2 in the morning but I'm sure most of you know that already ! 

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