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I was shocked by last nights programme - I hardly watch TV but chose to view it as I wanted to see how the 'continum concept' way of mothering was portrayed - it started off ok but I was shocked watching the hard-core 1950s style of mothering. I was watching the programme with my 14 year old son who was getting quite upset watching the not even a day old baby left crying to sleep in another room whilst it's parents sat in the living room. I don't remember the 'mentors' name but she apparenlty charges £1000 a day to help new parents get their lives back as quick as possible. Why is this kind of thing tolerated when it's the wealthy who do it - put the same style of parenting on a poor council estate in a deprived area of Britain, lock the new baby away in a room and only touch it when you want to stick a bottle in it's mouth and that would probably be seen as neglect or child abuse! I am angry at C4 for thinking this was ok - it's a baby's life that they are playing with, not some toy/product. And there is no way in 3 months could you tell which is the best way to bring up a baby - give that child 13 years and then see what damage has been done. I could go on and on but I won't! >:(
What were others opinions of the programme?
I have ranted about this elsewhere so I am going to be calm and not endanger my blood pressure again :D , just wanted to say the mentor using Truby Kings method is called Claire Verity.
I only partly watched it but, as I can't even leave the childline and nspcc adverts on the tv and have to switch them off, to sit and tolerate the abuse that woman gave towards the tiny baby would have given me nightmares. I find it hard enough to leave my lot with teachers and grandparents and they are 9,7,3, nearly 2 and 9 months, so not even teeny, but to leave a poor baby to cry until they do give in and realise it's useless is wrong. I hate to even think of the poor abused and neglected children there are already in the world without her making more go through it from choice.
I much prefer the idea of holding and cuddling and loving a baby whether it is viewed as spoiling them or not. I think it gives them a far stronger pair of feet to stand on if they know they can always go home to a loving family environment whether their shirts are ironed or not. A hug is worth a hundred ignores ( sorry can't quite think of the word there )
I don't see how teaching a newborn baby that it will always be alone is worth £1000, or the torment and torture.
I'd spit on that woman if she came near me, evil cow, but only if she wasn't on fire.
i think the thing that shocked me the most was saying you mustnt hold baby close when you feed it or make any eye contact - this is really disturbing, new babies actively seek out eye contact when feeding as a way of bonding with you - feels very wrong to ignore this! i think it was a shocking programme as those families who chose to do that method will not get the first three months with their newborns back. Also in one family where the baby had an older sibling who was told she was not allowed to cuddle it this could well affect how she bonds with her sibling.
I'm pretty sad. I think that the documentary makers managed to convey pretty accurately how Mia's family (have I got the baby's name right?) felt about Claire Verity and the Truby King programme and that the woman came across as the eccentric individual that she truly is. What bugged me more, though, was the way that the CC Expert was talking about breastfeeding. It CAN be difficult in the early days/weeks/months, for some women it is incredibly painful, and some women aren't lucky enough to hold gorgeous alert perfect newborns, whether because of PPH, c-section or some other reason. You deal and move on, surely? It's also interesting that Spock was mentioned as feeling it critical that mothers who gave up breastfeeding shouldn't be made to feel guilty- guess which way the programme's bias is going?
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However, I feel sure that in the weeks to come we will be shown shots of a continuum concept mum "struggling" with breastfeeding (they're not likely to show the shots when it all goes nicely and is a great experience are they?) and some poor child sleeping endlessly because she's learnt that crying is useless and has given up trying to get her parents' attention. This kind of situation will no doubt be portrayed as some holy grail of parenting.
I sadly agree with you - you know that baby will be sleeping through the night within a few days, and it will all have been worth it, and the poor continuum mothers will still be waking 5 or 6 times in the night to feed their 'demanding' baby and dying for a night out and 'some time to themselves' and therefore in this modern world it will be seen as very impractical.
I'm an attachment parenting mum in all areas apart for the fact that at the moment I have to leave my daughter (with her father) to go to work, but she was carried all the time, we never had a push chair, I still breastfeed and sleep with her and shes a dynamic, demanding, bright and beautiful little thing and it has been a pleasure giving her all she needs. I may have to write to C4 but I'll wait and see how the programme pans out first - if I can bare to.
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I personally would not consider taking parenting advice from someone who wasn't a parent.
two people who I greatly admire for their parenting advise don't have children. One is Rudolf Steiner and another is a woman I know personally who has worked extensively with children called Margaret Meyerkort. (she wrote an interesting book called 'challenge of the will')
Also, I think Michel Odent has some amazing views on birthing, yet he's never given birth himself.
I totally resonate with the views on this thread. I too have been bought to tears about it all.
HOWEVER, before I had children I was not in the slightest bit maternal and I too would have suggested that people get into a routine and don't allow their babies to 'manipulate' them and I might have suggested that too much attention from the parents would have led to a spoilt child who was demanding.
I now know that this was my own parenting as a child speaking and although I have worked hard at healing myself because of it, I never realised where my hollow inner came from until I had a child and held her close.
From the moment I conceived I was a born 'attachment parenter' ;D and was given the opportunity to heal myself by following my intuition as a mother. It meant going against everything I had believed in and had been bought up to believe. it has been the hardest, yet most rewarding journey of my life.
I feel that Claire Verity is simply a woman who needs to heal her inner child, yet she doesn't realise it. She is a woman who needs healing, holding close and listening to above all else. Inside of her is a scared, emotionally neglected child.
Ok, so she is being aired on TV, but there are thousands of us who had an upbringing like that and are still learning to parent ourselves.
What is heartening is that so many people now are horrified by something that was once normal.
Now *that* is progress and is the foundation of a better life for babies and children in the future.
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I'm just very glad I didn't see it.
:o - its tantamount to child neglect, having read more about this , frankly bizzare, parenting method.
So, in the 50's it was practised… maybe lack of information or male dominated care bred this, but it should not be continued today!
I saw the programme and had two opposite reactions to Channel 4. I thought it was fantastic that they had two Mum's breastfeeding. shocking I know, a woman bearing her breasts on tv and it wasn't for a sex scene, what is the world coming to? I'm glad the expert said very firmly that breastfeeding doesn't hurt when it's done properly. At the same time I was disgusted with Channel 4 for allowing Claire Verity air time. That woman is a monster. I wouldn't treat an animal the way she was treating those babies. I wanted to shake the parents and ask them why the had children if that was how they were going to treat them. I got so annoyed with Claire Verity that I had to switch off, I'm only glad that she doesn't have any of her own
As well as what everyone else has said, I noticed she contradicted herself - she was saying that even tiny babies are manipulative enough to know that by crying they can get attention, yet later she was claiming that a tiny baby doesnt know enough to cry because it needs company.
If the parents that employ her really don't want their lives disrupted by a baby (heaven forbid!!) then why dont they just buy a doll?? They can still get to dress it up in pretty clothes but there's no risk of it crying or needing a cuddle, or even touching at all - after all, why would anyone want to even touch a baby?????
I am trying to stay very calm about this tonight, lol My 12 year old son was shouting at the tv that she was evil, and I felt it was very telling that the little girl wanted to cuddle her baby sister and thought it was wrong she wasnt able to.
SAHM to B, R, E, M, S, J, A and A
My 15 yo DD was watching this programme for her homework so felt compelled to watch it with her and 'correct ' any mis information.Before the prog started I told her that Claire Verity based her theory on a book about childcare by a herdsman ,he based his theory on calfs with 4 stomachs and she didnt believe me until she saw the programme.
My lovely DH watched with us and said[about C.V] I would not have her anywhere near any of my babies[ahh thats why I love him] and when the 5 yo sibling of Mia asked to cuddle her,the parents hard time debating the argument with her.Sad that the only one with sense in that house was the 5 yo though
I think it could be positive,I mean theories like ferber look okaay ish but when you see the distressed child it really sets home how awful it is.My biggest complaint is that the study will not show Mia or the twins at 2 or 5 or 15 years old.Im sure by 12 weeks she will be sleeping from 7-7,to get'one's life back' but thats not the goal with child rearing,the goal is to produce a well adjusted adult at 18
I didn't watch the programme, but to answer an earlier question - maternity nurses don't necessarily have to have any qualifications, they are usually supplied through an agency and can be anything from a glorified babysitter to a qualified nursery nurse. They are similar to the 'night nannies' that rich people can employ in order to ignore the baby they chose to have if it deigns to interrupt their sleep. Although I think the original idea of a maternity nurse was to help new mothers in the early days and show her how to breastfeed, bath the baby, etc and help out until she was back on her feet, it seems that most of them these days are employed to 'tame' the new baby into submission with Ford-esque routines, so that once they leave around 6-8 weeks after the birth (they can be live-in or daily visitors), the parents can get on with their lives again as if nothing had happened.
Druid, boat-dwelling, home educating mum of DD1 (11), Aspie DS (9) and baby DD2 (2), & part-time step-mum to 2 stepdaughters, 9 and 7.
Was just about to post up the same link, Jaqui
I've also signed.
It seems to me that it goes against human nature to ignore your baby, you wouldn't get a puppy and shut it in a room for 12 hours at a time without playing with it or cuddling it!
I understand life is never the same again after having a child and we're really looking forward to it! Having a child isn't something you just do cos you're at a bit of a loss and then try and turn the clock back and get your old, childless lifestyle back is it?!
Trouble is with TV like this is although it's awful, people still want to see it, as it's "entertainment" and so as long as there's still demand, they'll continue to show them - and as long as there's people in the world willing to put themselves and their families forward for these kind of experiments, it won't stop being produced.
Best thing we can do is not watch and concentrate on looking after our kids as best we can and with lots of cuddles! :D
Mummy to DS born March 08 and DD born July 2010
GP Lets No 119