By The Green Parent
22nd January 2021
Some days are better than others, I can be happy, maybe even get joyful at times. Then there are the bad days where opening my eyes in the morning is a struggle. The only thing I can focus on is how long it will be until I am back in bed again. When I found out I was pregnant I was at a very low point. My relationship had broken down, I got made redundant, I lost my home and had also had symptoms of morning sickness, nose bleeds and low blood pressure to deal with. My world felt cold, dark and extremely lonely.
FIRST MOMENTS
When I gave birth to my daughter I was amazed by her. I just wanted to have her on my skin and to feel her gentle breath. Holding her, my little empty world suddenly contained two of us. I hated it when my mum insisted I dress her, I felt like I was almost losing the first moments. Later when we came home, I felt I was not able to offer her enough comfort in a buggy; she looked so small and helpless and I felt like I had abandoned her. I also found it next to impossible to get around. I was constantly apologising to people for knocking things over and when she cried I ended up carrying her and trying to push the pram and carry my baby. It really made me anxious if I had to go anywhere. I started to avoid going out if I could. On a get together with some friends they were discussing babywearing. As I listened I realised I could have that close contact with my baby all the time. I watched a few clips on youtube and I fell in love with the idea of wrapping. I bought a stretchy hybrid as it looked similar to what I had seen with my friends. I loved it, my daughter with was back as part of my world and I was free from the restrictions of the buggy. Getting out and about really helped to lift my mood and carrying made that possible.
FEEDING ON THE GO
Together we learnt to breastfeed in the carrier, feeding her made me so proud and bought that wonderful feeling of bonding with her. My isolated world was opening up as I carried her with me, tucking her little body inside my jacket, feeling the warmth against me. When my anxiety was building I found that I was able to calm myself easier, so that I was able to avoid a full panic attack. My daughter’s soft calm gentle breathing, helped to regulate my own. It is very hard to hyperventilate when you have someone asleep against your chest.
A few months into my babywearing journey, a friend asked me if I would like to go to a sling library. I was so excited to go and try more options. The first wrap I bought was a size 5 woven wrap, it bought me so much confidence. I loved interacting with my daughter as she grew, sharing our adventures together. I even enjoyed talking to people more as people asked about the wrap. Ten wraps later my passion and love for carrying only grows stronger!
WRAPPING TODDLERS
My daughter has grown into a very confident and independent toddler, we still enjoy cuddles and wraps regularly and she has a favourite that she hands to me when she wants ‘up’. She even owns a woven wrap and a stretchy wrap of her own and carries the toy of the day about with pride.
On days when I am struggling with my mental health and I’m stretched to my limits, I find that I can back carry her giving me space and time to calm myself while giving her the comfort she needs. I do have bad days and unfortunately it is more than likely to be something I will have to face for the years ahead but I can know for sure I can provide the emotional support my child needs.
HORMONAL CHANGES
I have now learnt that having your child close to you in arms or in a carrier, triggers the release of a number of hormones, one of which, oxytocin, helps with bonding, milk production and in short makes you feel great. It has been termed ‘the Love Hormone’ and affects both men and women. The calming effect of carrying will benefit you both, sharing an extended cuddle.
“We have shown that touch not only raises oxytocin, but it reduces cardiovascular stress and can improve the immune system, too,” writes Paul J. Zak in the The Moral Molecule. “Try telling people that you hug rather than shake hands and see what happens when you give others the gift of oxytocin. Studies show that the more one releases oxytocin, the easier it becomes to do so. That has certainly been my experience in practicing these oxytocin-releasing activities.”
As well as the release of oxytocin, knowing you have the ability to comfort your child brings confidence, which releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s reward and pleasure centres. The feeling of accomplishment and pride is a good feeling and one we naturally hunt for as humans (we also have higher levels than any other species). Low dopamine can lead to low mood, low motivation, loss of voluntary movements, less sleep, poor memory and much more.
“Dopamine is the chemical that mediates pleasure in the brain,” explains Dr Ananya Mandal. “It is released during pleasurable situations and stimulates one to seek out the pleasurable activity or occupation.”
BODY BOOST
Exercise has been seen as a great treatment for depression as this also releases a group of hormones called endorphins.
Endorphins alone help with weight loss but by carrying your child you are giving your body a gentle and natural workout. Carrying your child is believed to not only aid your muscles, to strengthen and return to their pre-pregnancy position, but this also helps baby to develop their own muscles too. Endorphins help to give a boost to your mood and can reduce or even eliminate pain. The word endorphin means body-made-opiate due to its effects on mood and pain reduction.
Oestrogen is a group of steroid hormones, that can be released when we are relaxed and calm. For example, breathing with your baby is an amazing way to encourage more oestrogen. Oestrogen can help to boost serotonin levels, a mood boosting neurotransmitter. Relaxing into a meditation like state will help with the regulation of oestrogen for both men and women; having your child cradled against you will regulate your breathing as well as theirs.
“The key happiness hormone, serotonin, has a huge impact on your mood,” says Stephlina D’Cunha. “But this brain chemical is also known to affect memory, appetite, sleep, cravings, pain tolerance and digestion. Low serotonin levels have been linked to development of various mental issues, primarily depression.” Babywearing has given my daughter and I so much more than simply a way to get around. I was at extremely high risk of developing post-natal depression and having issues bonding with my baby, but fortunately I didn’t. Carrying her and having the increased skin to skin is the only reason I have not had severe post-natal issues. Post-natal depression is thought to affect around 15% of new mothers. I am one of many people who are facing the feeling of depression and anxiety, no matter what happens, know that you are not alone.
Jodie Brown is mum to Jenni and just recently Albert. A Sling consultant, she trained with both Slingababy and JPMBB.
MORE INSPIRATION
GET SUPPORT mothersformothers.co.uk run groups in Bristol and have plenty of advice on their website abount PND
READ Articles and more at carryingmatters.co.uk
FIND Your local PND support group at pandasfoundation.org. uk/support-groups-local
TREAT Pictured here is the gorgeous Didymos Wrap Sling in Mosaic, available from didymos.com.
