Older Children

Increased violence by young males is spinning out of control. Boys are constantly bombarded with the false information that real boys must always be strong, aggressive, tough, in control, and repress their feelings says Ted Zeff. Boys are continually saturated with this distorted version of manhood from television and movies, video games, the Internet, peers, coaches, and other adults. In the last 15 years the violent video games and movies children have been exposed to have become more graphic than ever. Here is a 10 step plan to help combat the culture of violence and raise a compassionate son.

In our secular times, it can sometimes feel as if the magic has gone out of Christmas. We all bemoan the commercialisation of Christmas at times, even if we are firmly atheist. Just a little too much 'buy buy buy' and not enough 'be be be' can tip the scales and leave us feeling empty and frazzled. But what do you do if you don't want to attend a church service but want to somehow bring a sense of the spiritual into your family's experience? Here are some ideas to rekindle the magic and wonder of Christmas in your home:

When the meaning of Christmas was lost for our family and what we did next to find it again. With all the hubbub of spending and buying in the lead up to Christmas, often the meaning of Christmas is lost in a whirlwind of shiny new gadgets and toys. No, this isn’t an article spinning the virtues of getting back to church. This is simpler than that. What is the meaning of Christmas for you and your family? How do you celebrate a dominant and hugely popular Christian festival when you’re not Christian? What if you lost that meaning? What would you do? This is what happened to our family and how we reinvented it to find new meaning.

Human Rights Day, which takes place annually on 10th December, highlights global human rights issues and what we can do to make a difference. The theme this year is inclusion, and the human right to participate in public life.

Kids don’t worry about keeping fit. They naturally spend their days running around and burning up any excess energy. You don’t see a toddler slumped in a chair for eight hours of the day, wondering why they feel so sluggish and tired. Our kids have a lot to teach us about the joyfulness of moving our bodies. Without the self-consciousness of adulthood, they dance freely to music, run effortlessly around the garden, and scale scary-looking heights without fear. Watching the way children move and use their bodies can help us remember what it felt like to be free and without excess baggage.

What would happen if you let your child decide to eat whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, wherever they wanted? Would they slowly (or rapidly!) descend into poor eating habits, choosing to live on chocolate, cakes and biscuits eaten gradually through the day? Would they become sick and fat? Or, would they actually be healthier and happier?

Chatting with friends recently, the conversation turned to what not to say to teenagers. Some of these friends are parents of teens; others, like me, have younger children but remember being a teenager all too well. After much discussion, we came up with a list of things that really don’t help to hear when you’re going through the tumultuous hormonal, physical and emotional upheaval of teenage-hood. Teenagers are some of the most maligned and misunderstood members of our society, in a kind of limbo-land without respect or standing in life and with no means yet of gaining it.

It’s the moments that we stop that give form to family life. When we pause amongst the hustle and bustle of the every day and witness the wonder around us. Too often we find that we just don’t make time for a pause: there’s so much to be done and so little time to do it in. But as some wise sage once said, ‘the days are long, but the years are short’, and before long you’re wondering where all the time went. Another wise sage – in the form of Ferris Bueller in the film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – said: ‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.’ And who wants to miss their children growing? When they’ve all left home, it’s the memories of now – these days and weeks – that will make us laugh and cry.

The pursuit of good parenting can seem endless. In truth, it really is – it’s an ongoing, evolving process that grows and adapts with your family’s needs. But it can also be tiring and confusing. In reality, most of us wind up tying ourselves in knots wondering where the line between being a respectful parent and being a permissive parent actually lies. It certainly doesn’t help that there are more “experts” around these days than there ever where when we were growing up and many of them take the form of unqualified individuals that have simply gathered a large following on their Facebook page. Knowing what good parenting looks like can sometimes seem impossible.

The ban-bossy campaign has made headlines in recent weeks with its efforts to empower young girls and guide them toward leadership and other roles it is suggested that they are shying away from. The campaign, spearheaded by facebook executive Sheryl Sandberg and co-founded by the Girl Scouts, has attracted celebrity endorsement from the likes of Beyoncé and Condoleeza Rice. Whilst it has been met with mixed reactions, the campaign has highlighted an important issue – that parents play a vital role in the development of their child’s sense of self worth and empowerment.