Breastfeeding Toddlers Part 3

Beth and Stephen live with their son, Jack, four, in Bournemouth. The family love going on adventures together, usually to the beach, and spending time with family and friends.

“Throughout the four years of Jack’s life, breastfeeding has meant different things to us at different times. As a tiny baby it felt like all I ever did some days was breastfeed him. It wasn’t always easy, but it was the first thing we learnt to do together and the starting point of the bond we have now. As he grew to be an older baby, he was so curious about the world that he would often forget to ask to feed, or decline when offered, because he was too interested in everything else that was happening. But when the world was quiet, it was still very much what he needed and I cherish those times we had snuggled in the dark together. As he grew older still and started walking and talking, it became something he required less and less from a nutritional point of view, but still very much needed it from an emotional perspective. These days, “Mama milk” is still what he wants when he is frightened, overwhelmed, tired, sad or needing love and connection. It brings comfort when nothing else does. I have come to the realisation that these are the needs it has fulfilled since day one (as well as nutritional) and, because of that, he is the only one who can make a decision about when these needs can be fully met in other ways.”

ADVICE TO MAMAS
Breastfeeding is a two-way relationship; you have to be happy about doing it. This usually means that, at some point, you will set boundaries (for example, not nursing in public, only nursing for naps and sleep, whatever you need). Setting boundaries is 100% ok. It can be done kindly and gently and in such a way that it teaches your child about body autonomy. Also, think about how you will react to other people’s comments. There will always be those who have something to say about it (friends, family or strangers) and I feel better having an idea of what I will say.

Abigail Ryder lives in Somerset with her daughter Pearl who is nearly four. Pearl is gradually feeding less and slowly losing interest now so they just feed at bed times and occasionally in the daytime for comfort and connection. Follow Abigail on Instagram @bigbadbabz

“Whilst pregnant I read The Continuum Concept and started learning about child led parenting and child led weaning. It seemed natural to me that it would be best for my baby to decide when it needed milk and when it didn’t need it anymore. But I didn’t actually think I’d still be breastfeeding Pearl at 3 years 8 months! She still feeds to sleep at night and in the morning (occasionally in the daytime too if she’s tired) but she only stopped waking in the night for feeds a few months ago. This was the hardest part as I have been so sleep deprived that I think it affected our day to day lives and I did become resentful, especially as I was getting pressure from others that I should have weaned her. Easier said than done though as I am single, so I can’t just hand her over to someone else at bedtime, which is how most of my friends ended up weaning. Hearing about Ann’s project has given me back the confidence that I’m doing the best thing for Pearl though and if I’m honest I don’t think I would be 100% ready to stop: it’s such a lovely bonding experience! All in all, she’s happy, confident and rarely gets colds or any other illnesses. I’m sure extended breastfeeding has helped with this.

ADVICE TO MAMAS
Pearl only started sleeping through the night at around three and a half which was really hard going so while I would definitely recommend child led weaning and extended breastfeeding I would probably not recommend breastfeeding to sleep as I’m pretty sure this was why Pearl was waking up so often in the night as she associated feeding with getting back to sleep.

VISIT annowenfoto.com
READ Breastfeeding Made Simple - Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers
EXPLORE Resources for Natural term Breastfeeding abm.me.uk