Kate Orson finds playful ways to foster connection in the teen years
As a parent educator I learnt that laughter is queen when it comes to building connection with our children. Laughter releases feel-good endorphins and helps to lower stress. When children feel relaxed, happy and well-connected to us they are more likely to cooperate with us.
When my daughter was a toddler and didn’t want to leave the house, I’d play a few silly games while getting her dressed, like putting items on the wrong body parts, and then ‘realise my mistake’ and try again. ‘This laughter released any tension she felt and soon she was happy to get dressed, have a bath, clean her teeth etc.
As children get older they spend less and less time with us, there is school, (or homeschool activities) after school clubs, friendship meetups and lots of alone time in their bedrooms.
Creating A Safe Base
It can seem on the surface that a tween or teen might need a parent less, as they become more independent, however no matter how busy they get living life, they still need a safe base to return to, to talk and express emotions.
Sometimes emotions don’t come out very clearly. There might be whining, snapping, or arguing. It can be very triggering for parents, who are suddenly challenged, not just with an angry ‘No’ from a toddler, but instead a whole stream of words. It can be easy to get caught up in arguments.
Laughter and silliness is a wonderful way to diffuse the tension that builds up between parent and child, but it’s not always so easy to be playful with older children.
