Parenting

Getting married can be an incredibly expensive occasion in a couple’s life. With costs soaring and many plunging themselves into serious debt to afford the perfect celebration, and many eventually separating due to the stress caused by those debts, it can be intimidating to even consider taking the step of committing to a marriage. But for those who do wish to marry, waiting due to costs or the pressure of feeling obliged to put on a traditional display, it doesn’t have to break the bank. In fact, I recently got married, beautiful dress and reception too, for under £1500.

Have you ever found yourself guiltily wishing your child could be a bit friendlier/less boisterous/more outgoing/less aggressive? Or looking at friends’ kids and thinking for a nano-second ‘if only my son/daughter behaved like that’? Most of us try our darndest not to do this, but find that every so often it’s our child who is causing an awful ruckus while every other child is calmly playing. And we berate ourselves – is it our bad parenting? – and perhaps internally berate our children.

Keen to take a break but not sure the budget will stretch to a week in the Maldives?! Family holidays can be prohibitively expensive once you’ve added up all the extras and sometimes it feels like what cash you’ve got is better spent on the essentials. But a family holiday is enhancing on many levels, giving everyone a chance to step off the treadmill and really connect with one another.

Chatting with friends recently, the conversation turned to what not to say to teenagers. Some of these friends are parents of teens; others, like me, have younger children but remember being a teenager all too well. After much discussion, we came up with a list of things that really don’t help to hear when you’re going through the tumultuous hormonal, physical and emotional upheaval of teenage-hood. Teenagers are some of the most maligned and misunderstood members of our society, in a kind of limbo-land without respect or standing in life and with no means yet of gaining it.

Unless you are particularly lucky, most of us will likely experience a complicated death at some point in our lives. As we grow, we learn too soon that death visits more than just the old and frail. We also learn that people we love often die before their time and as a direct result of the choices they have made. What follows is a long and complex emotional journey for those left behind. Not too long ago I wrote an article on alcoholism. In it, I talked a little about my mother-in-law and her own battle with alcohol addiction. Sadly, she passed away very recently.

It’s the moments that we stop that give form to family life. When we pause amongst the hustle and bustle of the every day and witness the wonder around us. Too often we find that we just don’t make time for a pause: there’s so much to be done and so little time to do it in. But as some wise sage once said, ‘the days are long, but the years are short’, and before long you’re wondering where all the time went. Another wise sage – in the form of Ferris Bueller in the film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – said: ‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.’ And who wants to miss their children growing? When they’ve all left home, it’s the memories of now – these days and weeks – that will make us laugh and cry.

The pursuit of good parenting can seem endless. In truth, it really is – it’s an ongoing, evolving process that grows and adapts with your family’s needs. But it can also be tiring and confusing. In reality, most of us wind up tying ourselves in knots wondering where the line between being a respectful parent and being a permissive parent actually lies. It certainly doesn’t help that there are more “experts” around these days than there ever where when we were growing up and many of them take the form of unqualified individuals that have simply gathered a large following on their Facebook page. Knowing what good parenting looks like can sometimes seem impossible.

The ban-bossy campaign has made headlines in recent weeks with its efforts to empower young girls and guide them toward leadership and other roles it is suggested that they are shying away from. The campaign, spearheaded by facebook executive Sheryl Sandberg and co-founded by the Girl Scouts, has attracted celebrity endorsement from the likes of Beyoncé and Condoleeza Rice. Whilst it has been met with mixed reactions, the campaign has highlighted an important issue – that parents play a vital role in the development of their child’s sense of self worth and empowerment.

I’m currently in the middle of planning a wedding. It was meant to be a small and simple affair, we had even toyed with the idea of showing up in jeans and trainers. It’s not the wedding we’re after, but the marriage. Somehow, though, it has quickly snowballed into a wedding with a dress and a reception. And I have 4 weeks to pull it off. What has any of this to do with online dating, you might ask? Well, the day we’re planning to get married will be exactly 6 years to the day that we very first “met” after falling in love online.

Spring heralds a time of change. In the world around us, we see the wheel of the year continue on its cycle and enter a new phase and, whether we like it or not, we’re going along for the ride! Sometimes it can feel like we need just a few more winter weeks to really gather our thoughts and ideas before we bring them into the light. But spring comes leaping and bouncing into our lives with the energy of the lambs, and demands that we shake off the cobwebs and dance into the warmer, brighter days.