When my son was born, my husband and I were 3,000 miles away from our families and the first in our group of friends to become parents says Jacqui Castle
No one could offer the type of support that I needed quite like another mother. If you are home with a new baby and are having a difficult time making connections, I hope some of these suggestions lead you to find a few new friendships.
1. Library Story Time
Check out your local library and see if they have a weekly story time. Most libraries will offer "story hour" tailored to different age groups; the baby story time is a terrific place to meet new parents (and is an excuse to get out of the house).
Look around and see if there is anyone you feel you might click with. When the story time wraps up, start up a conversation and ask if they would like to walk down the street for a cup of coffee. I met one of my closest friends at a library story time. Don't be shy! Chances are they are feeling just as lonely as you are.
2. Join La Leche League
Visit the La Leche League website and find out if they have a meeting in your town. LLL is a great place to connect with other breastfeeding mums who are going through the same things that you are. Make sure that you get any breastfeeding concerns answered while you are there. LLL typically only meets once a month; so if you make a new friend, offer to host a play-date at your house next week!
3. Seek Out Individual Friends
If you are still having difficulty, or if there are no parent groups in your area, you may have to take matters into your own hands. Don't be discouraged; there are other new mums in your area, you just have to find them.
4. Post an Ad
Put up an ad on your area’s facebook page stating that you are looking to start a parents group. You could suggest a weekly park meet up. Or a walk in the woods. See what responses you get, you might be surprised!
5. Try Other Parent Groups
Ask around to see if there are any other parent groups in the area. Call the local hospital to see if they host a group for new parents; many do. The owner of your local toy store might be a good resource for finding the groups in the area.
Search meetup.com for local groups; enter "natural parenting", "attachment parenting", or "breastfeeding" in the search field, if you feel this will help you find like-minded friends. Check to see if there is an Attachment Parenting International group near you. If there is no group near you then consider starting one!
6. Find Your Village
Set an intention that you will meet a group of powerful, inspiring and uplifting friends to support you in your parenting journey. You might like to write down exactly what you need from such a group. How frequently would you like to meet up? What sort of friendships would you like to cultivate? What would you particularly like support with? For example, we’ve seen successful parent groups that look after each others’ kids while one or two parents get a break. Or crafting groups where parents get together to create while the children play. Or even groups where each week the group meets in a different member’s house and helps to clean, do the laundry and cook supper for everyone. Craft your ideal situation in your mind and then take action to make it happen.
7. Take Time to Talk to Strangers
The first time approaching another new parent is always the hardest. But, what do you have to lose? Strike up conversations with parents at the park, the library, even line at the supermarket. Practice practice practice and it’ll get easier and easier to make the first move. Tell parents you meet that you are looking to start a group and ask for their email. Email them later, let them know it was great to meet them, and ask when would be a good day to have them over for breakfast/lunch/tea.
Once you have made that first emotional leap and put yourself out there, you will probably find yourself making friends with every new parent that you see. Good luck!
