Lisa Mabberley lives in rural Herefordshire with her husband and two sons, aged 10 and 13 and runs retreats focused on deep rest
I’m passionate about each of us finding the permission inside of us to do motherhood and life our way. Through coaching, circles, workshops and retreats, I hold safe spaces for mums to come as they are, supporting them to build a life they feel good inside of.
I love the exhale the most. When mums come into my retreats I get to see them breathe all the way out. The realisation that settles into their body - ‘ah, I can put the mask down. It’s safe to just be how I am here’. It’s the whole reason I do what I do.
Mums need more spaces where they can exhale, rest, feel heard and held. Where they’re not required to play society’s game of saying what they’re supposed to say when asked how they are.
Depletion In Motherhood
Ask mums if they’re getting enough rest and they’re likely to laugh darkly or cry on your shoulder. The vast majority are giving more than they’ve ever given and resting less than they ever have and it isn’t sustainable.
Many new mums are experiencing exhaustion and lack of support whilst in the background weathering the physical, emotional and hormonal effects of Postnatal Depletion - the effects of which can last up to 10 years, according to functional medicine practitioner, Dr Oscar Sellerach.
In a 2023 survey of 2000 UK mothers by the Peanut app, 81% reported having experienced burnout in motherhood. Many mums tell me they fear burnout is on the horizon but still they find it very hard to rest. Yet rest (alongside other support) is so needed.
When I work with mums who want more rest and time for themselves the main barriers are time and guilt. They’re bone-tired and lacking a tangible sense of themselves but when they try to reach for what they need they meet resistance, over and over.
We usually need to look under the surface to understand what’s driving that resistance. In a culture that prizes productivity and asks mums to be superhuman a lot of the time it’s understandable that our relationship with rest might be complicated.
What stories have we gathered over time about rest and how much we’re allowed of it?
How was rest modelled to us growing up?
What narratives have we unconsciously bought into around what’s required of us as mothers?
What messages around perfectionism, selflessness and being ‘good’ do we, on some level, carry?
When we dig into these stories it begins to make a lot of sense why we’re pushing rest to the bottom of the list and how it’s not only about lack of time (real though that barrier may be).
We’re all worthy of the rest we need to feel good in ourselves and in our motherhood
Choose One Self-Supporting Action
The good news is, when we understand what’s driving our resistance, guilt and self doubt around rest, we can work with it. I use trauma-informed and evidence based coaching techniques to help build a new relationship with rest. The knock-on effect of one new self-supporting choice can be profound.
We’re all worthy of the rest we need to feel good in ourselves and in our motherhood. For you that might mean quiet, stillness or solitude. Or something that involves movement, activity or your creativity. The ideal type of rest is whatever feels restorative for you.
MORE INSPIRATION
EXPLORE A Year of You’. ‘Mother Wild’, the woodland retreat for mums, returns in 2025. Find out more at mothernurtureandwild.co.uk
GET A free workbook here.
FOLLOW @mother_nurture_and_wild
PHOTOGRAPHY Hannah Barnes from @pipandwolfphotography
