From childhood trauma to divinely-guided birth, Hannah Thomas shares her story
I always wanted to be a mother but after struggling with depression, anxiety, self-hatred, and self-harm since childhood, I feared that I would never be blessed with children. I even questioned if it would be wrong to be a mum when I felt so broken and unworthy.
In my late twenties, I discovered solution-focussed hypnotherapy, and when I became pregnant with my first child, I threw myself into learning and preparing for the kind of birth I felt she deserved. I wanted to give her the best start in life.
My husband and I loved our antenatal classes and hypnobirthing sessions, reading the scripts every night. I painted my own affirmations, read masses of books, listened to podcasts, practised prenatal yoga and focussed on my nutrition.
I became really passionate about physiological birth and was excited about the positive birth at home we would have. But as it turned out, the Universe had other plans - and I can see now that her birth didn't go well because I was still living in a completely-disempowered state.
