Sara Smyth shares three ways to make more time for yourself
It can sound like a ridiculous thing to suggest when life is busy and demanding and just generally overwhelming that you should make more time for yourself. But the truth is, making time for yourself as a parent doesn’t have to mean sending the kids off to their grandparents for the weekend. Or that you have to spend long hours indulging in baths and romance novels (although if that floats your boat, definitely do it!).
The benefits of you-time can be harnessed and felt in just a short moment grabbed during a busy day by creating a mini sanctuary within yourself. And honestly, we think developing the skill to be able to drop in and find a moment of time to yourself in the middle of everyday life is going to pay off in the long run far more than sporadic, indulgent spa days will!
Here are 3 ways you can create more time to yourself by going within and creating your own inner sanctuary:
1) TAKE A BREATH
One of the most immediate ways we can create space inside of ourselves is by using our breath. You can literally create more space in your body, which is then reflected in your mind, by taking a full, deep breath. Fill up into the bottoms of your lungs, into your upper back and chest, and into the sides of your rib cage. Do it now! Notice how your physical body actually expands and creates more space within you? Then you can use your exhalation, which is one of your body’s modes of detoxification, to let go not just of carbon dioxide, but to detox yourself of energies you no longer need to be holding onto: worry, resentment, thought loops, etc. Instant space!
2) LEARN THE PAUSE
It only takes a moment to bring yourself out of a reactionary, snappy, resentful state and into a space of more calm and clarity; nothing shifts you from one state to the other like The Pause. All you have to do is, pause! When you find yourself about to react to your children, partner, friends, or self in a way that doesn’t feel good, take a moment to pause.
When you pause, you create a space just for you to settle into and come back to yourself. And in that space between the situation and your reaction, you’ll find that you actually have the ability to choose how you respond. You can ask yourself: ‘Is there a different way I can react to this?’
The way we respond to the things going on around us is a habit we’ve developed over time. The way to change a habit is to first bring awareness to the old one and interrupt the automatic response, which is exactly what we do when we take an intentional pause. The Pause is as simple as it sounds, but it’s not necessarily easy to remember, or to stick with. Perfecting it and really harnessing its benefits takes practice.
3) STRAIGHTEN UP!
A simple adjustment to your posture can create dramatic results in how you feel mentally and emotionally, and when you feel good mentally and emotionally, you’re much more likely to want to create time for and spend time with yourself, because it’s a more peaceful place to be.
Next time you’re feeling frazzled under the strain of the domestic mental load, try making a small adjustment to how you’re holding yourself physically. As Tony Robbins says, “feeling follows physiology,” meaning, the way we feel is directly and profoundly influenced by our physical state. This includes our posture. Our bodies take on the shape of our most predominant emotions over our lifetime. And the cool part is, we can reset that shape by consciously realigning our posture and moving in a way as if we were. Over time, we can embody a new way of feeling.
How would you hold your body if you felt calm or confident, as opposed to stressed and overwhelmed? What changes can you feel in your energy, mind, and emotions if you draw your shoulders back and down, and open your chest, for example?
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
You can combine all three of these inner sanctuary tips into one practice. Here’s how. Pause, take a breath, adjust your posture - that will give you a precious moment to dip into your inner sanctuary when things outside of you feel chaotic. And if practiced over time, you’ll reshape yourself and your responses and embody a new way of feeling.
Sara is a mum of three children aged 24, eleven and nine. She lives in London and is the founder of Soma Rising Retreats.
MORE INSPIRATION
VISIT somarisingretreats.com for details of the next retreat that Sara is running
