To help families make the move feel calmer and more positive for children, new build home developer Tilia Homes has partnered with Dr Kamaria Fleary, HCPC Registered Educational Psychologist, to share the signs children may need extra reassurance when moving home, and the steps parents can take to help them settle.
Dr Fleary explains: “Moving can bring uncertainty about what lies ahead. Children may worry about their new bedroom, neighbourhood, school, or making new friends.
“Every child responds differently, but those who have not yet developed strong coping or resilience skills may find these changes particularly overwhelming.”
Why can moving home feel unsettling for children?
For adults, moving home often means focusing on practical jobs, from packing boxes and arranging removal dates to setting up utilities and managing paperwork.
For children, the change can feel different, especially if their current house is the only home they have known, or if they are also moving away from familiar friends, neighbours, clubs, parks or schools.
Heike O’Leary, Chief Sales & Marketing Officer for Tilia Homes, says: “Families often spend a lot of time planning the practical side of moving, but it can be just as important to think about how the move will feel for children day to day.
“Small details, such as when their bedroom will be unpacked, whether they have familiar items nearby, or when they will get to know the local area, can make the move feel much more manageable.”
Signs your child may need extra reassurance
Every child will respond differently to moving home. Some may feel excited straight away, while others may need more time, patience and reassurance as they adjust.
Dr Fleary explains: “Children don't always express their worries verbally. Instead, anxiety or dysregulation can often appear through changes in behaviour or emotions.
“Parents may notice increased clinginess, irritability, tearfulness or anxiety. Some children may present as withdrawn or quieter than usual, while others may present as more emotional or with protesting behaviours, such as arguing against the idea of moving.”
“In addition, sleep difficulties, nightmares, changes in appetite or a temporary return to earlier behaviours, such as bedwetting or wanting more comfort from parents, can also be common. These may be signals from the child that they need more reassurance and a sense of security from their parents.”
How can parents help children settle when moving home?
There are several ways parents can make the move feel calmer and more positive for children, from talking about the change early to helping them build familiarity with their new home and local area.
Talk to your child early about the move
Parents should talk to children about the move as early as possible, giving them time to understand what is happening and ask questions.
Dr Fleary says: “Preparation is one of the most effective ways to reduce anxiety. Talk to children about the move well in advance, just as you would prepare them for starting school or another major life transition. Encourage questions, acknowledge mixed emotions, and be honest about both the exciting and challenging aspects of moving.”
O’Leary adds: “One of the easiest things parents can do early on is give children a clear picture of what will happen next. This could be as simple as talking through the moving timeline, showing them photos of the new home, or explaining what will stay the same, such as bedtime routines or family traditions.”
Involve children in small decisions
Where possible, giving children small roles in the moving process can help them feel more connected to the change.
This could include visiting the new home, exploring the local area, helping pack some of their own belongings or choosing small details for their bedroom.
Dr Fleary explains: “Where possible, involve children in the process. Visit the new home and neighbourhood before moving, explore local parks or schools, and let them help choose decorations or arrange their bedroom. These experiences help replace the fear of the unknown with familiarity and a growing sense of ownership.”
Keep familiar routines where possible
Moving day and the days around it can feel busy, so keeping some familiar routines in place can be reassuring.
Dr Fleary says: “Maintaining routines is equally important. Keeping regular mealtimes, bedtime rituals and family traditions provides reassurance when other aspects of life are changing. If possible, unpack the child's bedroom first, so they have a familiar space to retreat to from the first night.”
For younger children, parents may also want to arrange childcare on moving day itself, particularly while furniture is being moved and doors are open.
O’Leary says: “Moving day can be exciting, but it can also be quite overwhelming for younger children when there are boxes, open doors and furniture being moved around.
“If possible, having them at nursery, school or with family for part of the day can make things calmer, before welcoming them into the new home once the essentials are in place.”
Set up children’s bedrooms first
Once the family arrives in the new home, setting up children’s bedrooms early can help the space feel more familiar from the first night.
O’Leary says: “Before trying to unpack everything at once, it can help to prioritise the spaces children will use first, especially their bedroom.
“Having their bed made, favourite toys nearby and familiar belongings in place can make the first night feel much easier, even if the rest of the house is still full of boxes.”
Familiar items can also be particularly helpful during the transition, according to Dr Fleary.
“A treasured soft toy, familiar bedding, family photographs or a favourite pillow can provide emotional reassurance and help children regulate feelings of uncertainty while they adapt to their new surroundings.”
Be mindful that settling can take time
Even with preparation, some children may take longer than others to feel fully settled. This does not mean the move has gone badly, but it may mean they need more reassurance as they adjust.
Dr Fleary says: “Once the move is complete, don’t forget to keep checking in with children, as many changes will occur over time beyond the initial moving date.”
She adds: “Above all, parents should remember that children do not need to be shielded from every difficult emotion. Feeling sad, worried or uncertain about moving is a typical response to a significant life change. The most protective factor is having responsive adults who listen, validate those feelings and provide consistent reassurance.”
O’Leary adds: “Moving home can be a really positive new chapter for families, but children may not always feel settled the moment the boxes are unpacked.
“By preparing them early and keeping familiar routines where possible, parents can help children feel reassured and excited about making their new house feel like home.”
The Green Parent
